grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
GA: Your Speech Was Really GA: Emotional CG: OK I DEFINITELY DON'T NEED YOU BUSTING MY BULGE ABOUT THE SPEECH NOW. CG: I'VE TAKEN ENOUGH SHIT. I GOT A LITTLE WORKED UP OK? CG: AND IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, WHY DON'T YOU COME SAY IT TO MY FACE. CG: I'M FED UP WITH THESE BACK DOOR NOOKBITING SHENANIGANS. GA: I Dont Mean To Critique Your Speech GA: I Just Wanted To Ask You Something In Confidence GA: About The Humans CG: OK, WHAT IS IT? GA: Are You Sure Theyre Responsible For Our Misfortune CG: YES. THERE IS NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. GA: Was It On Account Of Malice Or Incompetence CG: I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE BOTH? CG: WHY DOES IT MATTER. GA: It Sort Of Does GA: Im Not Even That Sure Why GA: This Is A Difficult Topic For Me To Broach GA: For Reasons That You Probably Wont Understand CG: GOD DAMMIT. CG: NO MORE MYSTERIES, PLEASE. CG: YOU'D THINK WE'D HAD OUR FILL OF THEM BY NOW. CG: IF I HAVE TO SOLVE ONE MORE RIDDLE, I'M GOING TO... CG: I DON'T KNOW. GA: Will Your Response Involve An Athletic Maneuver Of Some Sort CG: NO CG: ABSOLUTELY NOT. CG: I WILL JUST GO OVER THERE AND WEEP GENTLY IN THE HORN PILE. CG: SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THIS ABOUT? GA: Um CG: WHAT I CAN TELL YOU IS CG: THEY ARE ALL LUDICROUSLY INCOMPETENT. CG: SOFT, PINK FRAGILE THINGS WHO DO NOTHING BUT WASTE TIME. CG: THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE HORNS! GA: What GA: Really CG: YEAH, I WAS LIKE, WHOA DID THEY GET FILED DOWN OR SOMETHING CG: BUT NO IT TURNS OUT THAT'S JUST HOW THEY ARE. GA: Weird CG: THEY'RE A MISERABLE POINTLESS CROP OF LIFEFORMS FROM A MEANINGLESS BORING PUSTULE OF A PLANET. CG: IT'S INFURIATING THEY WERE SOMEHOW ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY INFLUENCE OVER US. GA: It Is Pretty Disheartening GA: But GA: You Are Absolutely Sure They Are All Failures GA: And That They Have No Chance Of Succeeding CG: YEP. CG: IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE. GA: Im Not Sure Which Depresses Me More GA: The Sabotage Of Our Session Or The Futility Of Theirs CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. CG: YOU'RE BEING REALLY WEIRD ABOUT THIS. GA: Well I Havent Asked What I Wanted To Ask CG: THEN ASK!!! GA: Its About TentacleTherapist CG: YEAH. THAT'S THE ROSE HUMAN. CG: SHE'S APPARENTLY PRETTY SARCASTIC. CG: IT'S IN MY NOTES. GA: You Have Notes On Them CG: YES. GA: I Guess GA: Thats Why Youre Our Leader Karkat CG: NO, I'M YOUR LEADER BECAUSE OF MY INCREDIBLE TACTICAL SKILLS AND MY ABILITY TO MOBILIZE AND MOTIVATE A BUNCH OF USELESS PEOPLE TOWARD A COMMON GOAL, AND BECAUSE I'M EXTREMELY AMBITIOUS AND INTREPID. ALSO BECAUSE LEADERSHIP IS IN MY BLOOD. WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS. GA: Statements Like That Are Also Why Youre Our Leader CG: OK, I'LL ACCEPT THAT. GA: Have You Talked To Her CG: WHO GA: The Rose Human GA: Also GA: Do We Really Have To Say Things Like The Rose Human CG: OF COURSE WE DO. CG: IT SOUNDS SUITABLY DISDAINFUL. CG: I MEAN, IF A BUNCH OF ALIENS STARTED HASSLING YOU, YOU WOULD EXPECT THEM TO ACT REALLY HIGH AND MIGHTY, AND SUPERIOR IN EVERY WAY, RIGHT?. CG: WHICH WE ARE, OF COURSE. GA: Uh Okay CG: AND NO, I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HER. CG: I WILL PROBABLY STEER CLEAR OF HER FOR THE MOST PART. CG: I HAVE MY SIGHTS SET ON THE JOHN HUMAN, AND PROBABLY ALSO THE JADE HUMAN, SHE'S A HUGE CULPRIT TOO. GA: It Just GA: Feels Really Silly When We Say Things Like The John Human In Confidence Amongst Ourselves CG: WE HAVE TO COMMIT TO THIS. STAY IN CHARACTER, YOU KNOW? CG: REMEMBER THE SPEECH. GA: The Speech Has Become Emblazoned On My Think Pan GA: Virtually Ensconced In The Fold Of My Personal Mythology CG: DID YOU WANT TO TROLL HER? ARE YOU VOLUNTEERING? CG: BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE GREAT, I'D REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. GA: I Dont Know GA: Im Not Sure If Ive Got It In Me Right Now CG: COME ON. YOU'LL BE GREAT AT IT. CG: PLEASE JUST DO THIS ONE THING FOR ME. WE'VE GOT TO STAY COORDINATED ON THIS. CG: TOO MANY OF THESE FUCKS ARE GOING ROGUE. CG: LIKE WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING. GA: Fine CG: GREAT! THANKS KANAYA. CG: I'LL EXPECT A FULL REPORT SOON. GA: A Report About What CG: LIKE CG: HOW HASSLED YOU GOT HER TO BE CG: BUT LESS STUPID SOUNDING THAN THAT. GA: Is There A Metric For That Concept CG: NO CG: WELL THERE COULD BE CG: WE CAN GAUGE YOUR RESULTS WITH THE "FLIGHTY BROADS AND THEIR SNARKY HORSESHITOMETER". GA: That Seems Just As Disparaging To Me As It Is To Her CG: YEAH WELL CG: USE IT AS MOTIVATION CG: I GOTTA GET CRACKING HERE, LATER.
I've been thinking this over for the last few weeks, and I've decided now is the best time to suspend all regular updates until I've finished the story, rather than pausing just before I start on the final animation. When I'm done, I'll post it all at once. There are a lot of reasons why I think this is the best strategy.
Primarily, it's about efficiency, and being able to work on the remaining (and likely the most difficult parts) of the story without distractions, or the added challenge of having to crank out the next serial update as fast as possible, which means I always have to stay totally linear with the work. This way I can produce the rest of it more comprehensively, prepare animation assets in advance, do more stuff in parallel, etc. It will go faster. And ultimately, I think it'll read better as one thing, rather than as a sequence tortuously spread out over time, as has been the norm for years. I think it's close enough to the end now to safely retire Homestuck as a serial reading experience. There's nothing to be gained from that presentation anymore, in my view. It's just time to bear down and get it done.
I guess we're breaking for a long time on a big cliffhanger, but there's no way around that. Actually, pausing at any point later would probably be even worse, as it keeps pushing into endgame territory. That's why I'm stopping now instead of later. With such a big readership, the reactions will only get crazier, and the demand for new updates will get more intense. Over time, knowing so many people are slamming refresh many times per day starts to be more of an omnipresent distraction than anything. I think there is sort of a perception that I am creatively feeding off the hysteria surrounding the comic, but on a very practical level this is not true. Creating entertainment is not really a lifestyle of madcap shenanigans. It is a very sober, often dull process that requires a huge amount of time and concentration. It will be better to disarm the hype machine while I get the hard stuff done.
So what is the itinerary? Need to finish A663 through A666, and then A7. Keep in mind that these sub acts can be literally any length, even onepage. There's a good bit of ground to cover, but most of the effort will be tied up in animation chores.
I don't really have a time estimate here, and am not sure there's any real advantage in coming up with one. It'll just be a while. I also have to allocate some time to work on the Kickstarter game. That didn't stop being a thing I have to do. It's coming along. I'll probably have a more substantive update on that before the end of the year. There hasn't been much to report yet since it's mostly been in a high level planning and writing phase. And firming up tons of legal minutiae. Stuff like that.
But I will say there is something new to watch out for next month. Kind of a secret project I'm involved with, unrelated to MSPA or the KS game. Well, it's technically not that secret. It's only secret if you don't know about it yet. Meditate on those profound words, and keep an eye out for news on this in coming weeks.
Oh yeah. Almost forgot, I'll have to take some time to port the site to a new server. Obviously it hasn't been cutting it the last couple months. So we'll work on that soon. Hopefully the new service will be able to handle the massive heart attack the next batch up updates will represent.
During the gigapause, there should still be plenty to see here in the news section. Whether it's about the aforementioned projects, or new product releases, there'll be a lot going on. Trust me, the coolest stuff at What Pumpkin this season has yet to be released.
A brief update on Namco High: Looks like we are targeting December 17th for release. Be sure to tune in on that day for the most incredible simulated dating experience of your entire life.
Also if you click on that, and scroll down to the "Students" section, you will notice there are some Homestuck characters being revealed as secret additions to the cast. They are secret to everyone but you! And a lot of other people probably.
This is a dating sim I've been working on with Namco Bandai's ShiftyLook where you can guide the romantic fortunes of all your favorite classic video game charact... wait. What? You're confused? I can't imagine why. But ok, I'll start at the beginning.
A while ago, ShiftyLook, which is a Namco Bandai jam, asked me if I wanted to work on a project for them. It could be anything. I said that sounds cool. Except that I already had a lot to do, so maybe it wasn't realistic. But they said that's no problem. All I had to do was assemble an elite team of writers, artists, and programmers, and tell them what to do. If I pulled together a crack squad of loyal creatives, they would HAVE to do what I said, no matter how little sense it made. So I said that sounds good. I thought about it really hard, for three of the most intellectually excruciating seconds of my life. Then I said we should make a dating sim. I mean. Obviously.
They said, are you sure that's a good idea? I said, hey who do you think is in charge here? They said they were. I said, oh, right. But it didn't matter. In the confusion, my pitch had somehow been approved due to a clerical error in Japan. Then I shouted suckers and fell backwards out of the airplane.
While tumbling magnificently back to Earth, I pulled the vintage rolodex out of my horsehair fannypack, and began recruiting the best of the best. And so my team was convened. They were waiting for me below with the trampoline thing firefighters use. They watched as the Hussie stunt-mannequin gently descended, and then exploded with unexpected confetti. I then revealed that I had been waiting there with them for the last several hours, wearing a disguise, straddling my most famous horse. I introduced myself, and they graciously pretended they didn't know it was me all along. (I repeat. Best of the best.) I then clapped my hands and rubbed them together a lot and said, who's ready to make some NOISE in the dating sim genre? Who's ready to DO SOME DAMAGE? Nobody knew what to say to that, so I pressed on valiantly. I think I know what the people want, I said. What they WANT, is to be able to manipulate their favorite classic video game characters into a variety of lurid but safe-for-work romantic encounters. What they WANT, for instance, is to cajole a cute Katamari into some sort of kissing situation with the spaceship from Galaga. Are you ready to GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT? They erupted into applause and began chanting my name, and they haven't stopped since.
Namco High comes out probably some time next month.
Homestuck book 3 and Problem Sleuth book 5 are here! The Homestuck book contains Act 3. The Problem Sleuth book is the final volume of the series.
(The cover of PS5 glows in the dark by the way.)
And now that the Problem Sleuth series is wrapped up, you can get the full set. Dedicating this much paper to three cartoon detectives trying to leave an office should be illegal. But it isn't, and we are exploiting that fact to our advantage here.
We upgraded the whole What Pumpkin store. There's a bunch of new stuff to buy as well! Including these lovely shirts:
All these great designs were by Rennie Kingsley. Alpha kid designs by the same artist will be coming soon too.
There will be so many other cool things hitting WP this fall, I honestly couldn't list them all off the top of my head. Just keep refreshing the site constantly. Even in your sleep. Then you will be ok.