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[A6I4] ==>

FUCK IT.
I'LL JUST TYPE IN ALL BIG LETTERS. EVEN THE U'S. WHO CARES.
Aw, looks like someone just took his first big step toward growing up!
ACTUALLY, TYPING THIS WAY IS A LOT EASIER. LOOKS LIKE I WIN THIS ROUND ASSHOLE.
Win what? I was the one advocating the use of caps lock in the first place, doofus.
DON'T ANTAGONIZE ME. YOU AREN'T A FUNNY PERSON.
I CAN TELL YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY. I MAY HAVE PROBLEMS LEARNING.
BUT I KNOW WHEN A PIECE OF GARBAGE IS TRYING TO BE FUNNY. UNSUCCESSFULLY.
You're right. I do think I'm funny sometimes. Maybe I'm wrong though.
HAHA! YOU ARE. JUST A WRONG AND UNFUNNY GUY.
We all have our flaws to overcome. I do my best, just like you.
Think of all you've done in spite of your learning problems. You don't let your disability hold you back, do you?
I GUESS.
You won that game of chess with that stupid gambit. Switching the hats, remember? It was a lame ploy, and totally not in the spirit of the rules, but it got under her skin enough to force a loss anyway.
You also hired Jack to murder your sister. Which was a dick move, but reasonably clever.
YES.
THOSE THINGS I DID WERE GREAT.
Well, they weren't great so much as terrible. But the point is you can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it.
Just because you struggle with learning doesn't mean you can't realize your destiny. You just have to work a little harder at it.
And if you're dealt a lousy hand - and you definitely were with this shitty solo session - then you have to work even harder.
THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.
I know you will.
You are going to prove all the haters wrong, exceed your own limitations by miles, and accomplish more than you ever dreamed possible.
Yours is quite an inspiring story, actually. It's just a shame that all of your accomplishments will be so horrible.
But that's really beside the point.
YEAH, I ALREADY KNEW I WAS INCREDIBLE AND SPECIAL.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO. INSPIRE ME. SAVE YOUR BREATH FUCKHEAD.
No, I don't give a shit about making you feel better about yourself.
I'm not your guardian or your sprite or your exile or your fucking life coach. I'm just saying some things that are true through the narrative prompt.
Take the facts or leave them!
MOST OF YOUR FACTS ARE BORING SO FAR.
I WOULD LIKE BETTER AND MORE USEFUL FACTS. RIGHT NOW.
You may be destined for bigger things, but you're still an atrocious, stupid child.
And you may have won the "game" with your sister, but that doesn't mean it was the best thing for your development as a person.
You had her dream self killed, which is not an opportunity your species typically gets. So she died prematurely, instead of allowing the conflict within you to settle itself naturally.
In short, you forced your predomination to happen a little too early, and now you're stuck.
STUCK?
Yes. Your personality is stuck in some sort of cantankerous prepubescent limbo. You are going to be a stunted, miserable tool forever.
WELL, HOW LONG WAS I EVEN SUPPOSED TO WAIT. FOR THAT TWEE BITCH TO GET OUT OF MY SKULL.
It's kind of sad. You don't really know anything about your own species, do you?
AND I GUESS YOU DO?
Uh, yeah?
Pretty much everything.
TELL ME THEN.
No.
GOD. DAMN IT.

> [A6I4] ==>


Start Over | Go Back             Save Game (?) | Auto-Save! (?) | Load Game | Delete Game Data




Latest Pages:
1/19/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/16/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/14/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/12/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/9/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/7/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/5/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/2/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/31/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/29/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/26/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/24/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/22/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/19/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/17/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/15/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/12/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/10/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/8/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/5/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/3/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/1/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/28/14 - "[S][A6A6I4] ====>"
11/26/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/24/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/21/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/19/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/17/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/14/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/11/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/10/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/7/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/5/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/3/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 4"
11/1/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 4"
10/25/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 3"
10/25/14 - "[S] GAME OVER."
10/17/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 3"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"

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RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 19 January 2015 by Andrew

So what do we call this pause? I've been batting ideas around all day. We could go with the obvious choice, the MINIGIGAPAUSE. Or maybe, MEGAPAUSE 2: BACK IN THE MEGASADDLE. Or if that makes too much sense, we could always settle on the MICROTERAPAUSE. As you can see, there are so many incredibly intelligent and meaningful things we could call this pause. Deciding how to refer to the pause is an exercise that I will leave to the reader. Feel free to discuss the matter with friends. Or strangers. Anyone who will listen really. If they start to run away, I strongly recommend you chase them.

Why don't we say that A665 begins on 4/13. That's a fun number that we all can get excited about. I have a lot of catch-up work to do between now and then. Not the least of which is drawing the actual content to be posted. But also a lot of gamedev work. Game production is rolling pretty hot right now. Stuff is being churned out almost faster than I can keep track of. Did I mention? I accidentally started running a game studio a little while ago. Whoops, sorry about that. There are all these people being paid to make things happen, and I have to be like "Yeah, keep doing that stuff, everybody." It's getting pretty easy to lose track of how many people work for What Pumpkin. My last estimate was somewhere between 30 and 1000. The true figure is a very frisky moving target.

A6A6A5, a.k.a. Caliborn's Masterpiece, is actually done. It's probably better to hold off posting it until 4/13, when more content will soon follow aftewards. I am sure pausing on that note for months would mess with your head a lot more than the note we're already pausing on. I sometimes feel I have at least a modest responsibility to manage your sanity. It'll be tough sitting on this content though. Tougher than sitting on all of A664 for the better part of a year. I don't think it is out of line to describe it as the best material this website will ever exhibit. It will be all down hill from there, in every direction. Even up.

Speaking of sanity management, way back when, I was pretty on the fence about posting A664 spaced out over months like I did, vs. all at once. Doing the latter in hindsight probably would have been a fucked up thing to do to the internet though. The GAME OVER fallout alone was a bit much as it was. Including it in tandem with the rest of it? Not sure what to make of that. Let's review the CONTENT CRUSH that would have entailed. Bad Anime -> Game Over -> Sadstuck -> Lowas Quest -> 100 retconned panels of oil -> A bunch of other shit -> Punky Serket -> Fantroll Storytime -> 8 password pages -> The Kiss On Horse Mountain -> and finally -> The Punchline. You know, that's an awful lot of baloney to publish. I think the fell-swoop reaction to all that would have been quite a thing to behold, but also, perhaps an irresponsible thing to do to a hapless fanbase after a year in hibernation. I'm told that in 2015, young people are heavily susceptible to "the feels", and trifling with those forces could be injurious to their future development. Wait, did that just sound like something your grandpa would say? Mother fuck, where did I put my cane. Oh right, I snapped it in half from shaking it at the sky.

I may have been in the process of making a point there, but we're going to have to pick this up another time. The comic isn't going to pause itself!!!

Posted on 7 January 2015 by Andrew

CRITICAL HORSE ADJUSTMENT

Over the last couple months, I have been surreptitiously collapsing several update horses into single, bigger horses. This means A6A6I4 is going to end a little sooner than previously advertised. Same total page count, but finishing sooner. Please consult the important horse calendar below.



So what happens when A6A6I4 is done? I'm not quite sure yet. I'm still working on everything that comes after that. I've written it mostly, but haven't drawn anything yet. There will almost certainly be another pause, but I'm not sure how long it will be yet. I will let you know after 1/19.

Posted on 9 December 2014 by Andrew

Here is one last drop of cool stuff for you to buy before your chimneys are plundered by a mythical oaf.

A new one of these guys, who is red:


Charms!:


Cute stickers?? (yes):



Posted on 30 October 2014 by Andrew

Adventure Game Update

I am letting this one be viewable to the general public. (It will also be posted to the backer page of the Kickstarter.)



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