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ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5 INTERMISSION 2

I UNLOCKED MORE GNOMES.
I thought they were leprechauns.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY ARE.
Ok.
I HAVE NOW CONQUERED FOUR PLANETS. AND HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF GNOMES UNDER MY COMMAND.
YELLOW HAT. BLUE HAT. RED HAT. AND NOW PURPLE HAT.
Congratulations.
THE PLANETS ARE BECOMING INCREASINGLY DIFFICULT TO CONQUER.
I ALMOST DID NOT MANAGE TO DESTROY THE PURPLE PLANET. WITHIN THE ALLOTTED TIME.
UNFORTUNATELY. THE QUALITY OF THE UNLOCKED GNOMES HAS NOT INCREASED TO MATCH THE ESCALATING DIFFICULTY OF MY QUEST.
IT SEEMS TO BE JUST THE OPPOSITE. THESE GNOMES ARE SHIT.
What's wrong with the new gnomes?
OK. RED HAT? HE HAS.
*NO FUCKING POWERS AT ALL.*
UNLESS HIS POWER IS TO FOLLOW ME AROUND CONSTANTLY.
Yes. That's basically what he does.
PURPLE HAT IS EVEN WORSE.
IS HIS POWER TO DANCE AROUND ALL THE TIME. WHILE SINGING RIDDLES TO ME?
Yes.
AWFUL.
PURPLE HAT'S BEHAVIOR IS SO INFURIATING. I HAVE ATTEMPTED TO MURDER HIM SEVERAL TIMES.
BUT TO NO AVAIL.
You can't kill purple hat. He's too lucky!
That's also his power. Being really lucky.
WHAT GOOD DOES THAT DO ME???
I don't know.
Get him to solve puzzles for you?
Use him as a human shield sometimes?
I mean a gnome shield.
OH YEAH. THAT'S ACTUALLY A REALLY GOOD IDEA.
You shouldn't be whining about how lame your minions are.
As you accumulate more, your job is obviously to combine their talents in creative ways to overcome the increasingly difficult challenges on your quest.
Synergize your time gnomes. Make them more than the sum of their pointy hats.
THAT'S GOING TO BE DIFFICULT.
THEY ARE ALL IDIOTS.
Nobody said it would be easy.
FINE.
I HAVE NO MORE QUESTIONS FOR NOW.
Hey.
Did you kill that cute turtle?
NO.
But I can see your past trail.
You're standing there holding a gun, and pointing it at the turtle.
OK. THEN YES.
I KILLED THE TURTLE.
Boooooooooo.

> END OF ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5 INTERMISSION 2


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RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 22 October 2016 by Andrew

Just going to leave this here for now, and assume that the kids these days will know what to do with it.

Posted on 6 October 2016 by Andrew

Here is a quick look at the way this project has been shaping up. Whew, that is a nice looking game! Not going to lie, I am on some big time tenterhooks in anticipation of this release. I've actually started doing stunts on the tenterhooks, flipping around on them wildly, like a gymnast. It's an astounding spectacle of physical endurance and might. Sorry you can't check this out, it's absolutely unreal.

What else have I been up to? I sense that this has been being wondered about. Some I suspect wonder about the epilogue I mentioned, which I have been making some notes on here and there. But otherwise have been deferring in favor of attention to ~other projects~ which strike me as more pressing. It will be gotten around to. If you are wondering which of these projects may be related to Homestuck, I did have some "post-canon content" planned for later this month. That is as specific as I can be for now. Tune in here, let's say, a couple weeks from now.

The project that has occupied the lion's share of my professional time is one that you will understand completely why I have prioritized, when you eventually see it. Arguably it will prove to be the only relevant work of art in human history. I don't wish to give anything else away, or delay your experience of this unprecedented triumph of the human spirit. So instead I will light a fire under my ass, and attempt to deliver the content I know you have all been craving.

What else to report? Hmm. I know that usually the passage of time for creative individuals is tracked by the hours they spend which ultimately contribute to creative products which may be consumed. It is far from true that all of my hours this year have been applied that way. Suffice to say I've been on some strange adventures. I doubt I can do any of them justice here, in a newspost which is rapidly running out of words I'm willing to type. At one point I was thrown out of a stable. I've probably said too much already. Well, see you next time.

Posted on 12 June 2016 by Andrew

The final Homestuck album Volume 10 has been released. More fantastic music by many familiar names who have contributed to the comic over the years. Thanks to all who came together to make this. It's a great way to cap off an impressive discography, now standing at 27 albums.



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