KARKAT: AT LAST!
KARKAT: WE ARE FREE FROM THE ACCURSED INSTRUMENT OF ASS ELEVATION!
DAVE: where did you even get that chair
DAVE: did you steal it from the common area
KARKAT: UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE EVER, I HAPPEN TO MAKE A PRACTICE OF CAPTCHALOGUING ITEMS WHICH MIGHT BE CONVENIENT ON A DAY TO DAY BASIS.
KARKAT: SAY I'M STROLLING AROUND AND FIND MYSELF IN NEED OF A PLACE TO SIT? BAM. SUDDENLY, A CHAIR.
KARKAT: AND NO I DIDN'T STEAL IT.
KARKAT: HOW COULD I STEAL SOMETHING FROM THE COMMON AREA? NOBODY ACTUALLY OWNS ANY OF THAT FUCKING FURNITURE.
KARKAT: THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED THE *COMMON* AREA, YOU ACCUSATORY PIECE OF FILTH.
DAVE: sounds like communism
DAVE: are you a communist or something
DAVE: actually that makes perfect sense what with your sickle and all
KARKAT: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??
DAVE: wait john has a hammer oh shit its all adding up
DAVE: when we arrive are you going to team up with john and seize the means of production
KARKAT: YOU APPEAR TO BE JUMPSTARTING A FACETIOUS DISCUSSION ABOUT SOME SORT OF HUMAN ECONOMIC IDEOLOGICAL FRAMEWORK, WITHOUT HAVING THE SLIGHTEST CLUE THAT YOUR VEHICLE IS PARKED SQUARELY IN THE NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ZONE.
DAVE: im just saying
DAVE: first chairs what next
DAVE: see i am all about private property and pocketing dough
DAVE: do you have any idea how rich i am
DAVE: i am a man of MEANS motherfucker
KARKAT: WHAT IS YOUR POINT?
DAVE: just dont come after my boonies dude
DAVE: or should i say karkat marx
KARKAT: YOU AREN'T BEING SERIOUS NOW!
KARKAT: THESE ARE NOT THE WORDS OF A SERIOUS PERSON.
KARKAT: I WAS HAVING A *SERIOUS DISCUSSION* LIKE A *BIG TIME ADULT* WITH MY GOOD FRIEND TEREZI.
KARKAT: YOUR CALLOUS AND NONSENSICAL REMARKS ARE DERAILING US FROM THE DELICATE SUBJECT AT HAND.
KARKAT: WHY DON'T YOU BE USEFUL AND SAY SOMETHING REASSURING TO OUR SAD MUTUAL BUDDY, YOU WAILING JET ENGINE OF INFANTILE STULTILOQUENCE??????
DAVE: i dont have much to say about this
DAVE: ive kinda got to recuse myself on the matter
DAVE: im all kinds of on record as being squicked out by the idea of hatelationships
DAVE: so i got no point of reference for gauging when one is fucked up the way thats normal for trolls or if its fucked up cause its actually fucked up and terrible
DAVE: this is like some ex alien boyfriend prime directive shit
DAVE: i cant intervene cause i dont know what im talking about
DAVE: but you do so i guess keep going
DAVE: you were saying some pretty good stuff before i started riding your jock about chairs
KARKAT: TEREZI, DO YOU SEE? DO YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH??
KARKAT: ACTUALLY, I GUESS YOU CAN! YOU CAN NOW LITERALLY SEE WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH, AND EXPERIENCE ALL DUE EMPATHY FOR THE FACT THAT I HAVE A DOUCHE AS A BEST FRIEND!
TEREZI: Y3S, 1 C4N S33
TEREZI: TH3 V13W FROM H3R3 1S
TEREZI: DOUCH3T4CUL4R >:]
DAVE: thank you
KARKAT: SO THAT'S IT THEN
KARKAT: NO ADVICE AT ALL, SMARTALEC?
KARKAT: WHY DID I EVEN BRING YOU HERE FOR THIS INTERMISSION THEN.
KARKAT: INTERVENTION I MEAN. SORRY, I MISSPOKE.
DAVE: its not an intervention either
DAVE: my ghostly heads all beamin out of this crab for moral support yo
DAVE: i am in my homies corner even if he is a massive socialist
DAVE: terezi i think can probably figure this out
DAVE: she grew up alone and blind in a forest i think she will manage to bounce outta her juggalo phase
DAVE: but yeah terezi you should at least quit the fuckin soda
TEREZI: 1LL STOP
KARKAT: WHAT. JUST LIKE THAT?!
TEREZI: 1TS R34LLY GROSS >X[