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[A6I4] ==>

SO MY GOAL IS. TO BURROW FUCK DEEP INTO THE CENTER OF EARTH.
UNLOCK HIS DOOR.
AND THEN DESTROY HIM.
Sort of.
You can fight him then and there if you want. But that won't do you much good. And not just because he'd probably kill you instantly.
You're better off listening to him.
WHY.
Because he will make you an offer.
By which I mean he will give you The Choice.
THE CHOICE TO DO WHAT.
I won't tell you that.
FUCK. NO.
YOU WERE ON SUCH A ROLL. OF NOT BEING SHITTY.
It's just a very important decision you will have to take into consideration once you hear it. Something unique to you and your journey.
Basically, if you accept his terms, your real adventure will begin. Your true planet will be unlocked, and a whole lot of other crazy shit will happen. It's best not to get bogged down in the details though.
The bottom line is, by accepting, you will begin the most difficult game session anyone has ever attempted.
WHAT.
THAT'S BULLSHIT.
WHY DO I GET SUCH A RAW DEAL.
Because you are being punished.
FOR WHAT.
For your hubris in embarking on a one player session.
That's against the rules.
WHAT RULES. WHERE ARE THESE RULES WRITTEN.
They aren't written anywhere. They're just the rules.
Are the rules you and your sister followed written anywhere?
NO.
You just knew what they were, and you followed them. There were consequences for breaking them.
SO THIS SHIT ASS SESSION. IS PUNISHING ME FOR. BEING TOO FULL OF MYSELF. AND KILLING MY SISTER??
Pretty much.
WHATEVER. I ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES. FOR DOING THOSE EXCELLENT THINGS.
JUST BRING IT ON.
I thought you'd feel that way.
SO WHAT'S SO TERRIBLE ABOUT THIS SESSION. ASIDE FROM THE FIRST STAGE BEING INSANELY BORING.
It's called a dead session.
SO.
So, there are three kinds of fucked up sessions, and yours is the worst.
There's a null session, which is pretty much a normal session that's doomed to failure.
Everything works correctly. The sprites are prototyped, the battlefield can evolve, the Forge is present, Skaia can gestate a new universe... theoretically.
But events conspire such that this never happens. Basically the players are doomed to fail.
Then there's a void session, which is the same as a null session, but without even having the potential for success.
Nothing is prototyped. The battlefield doesn't evolve. There's no Forge. It is completely inert.
It has no chance of bearing fruit, at least not without some sort of miraculous external intervention. Like a deus ex machina.
And then there's a dead session, which is a void session but worse. It's started by a single player. The kernelsprite collapses into a black hole, sucking the planet into it, and eventually the sun and entire solar system. There is no hope of creating a universe in such a session under any circumstance, not even with outside help. Victory and defeat in a dead session are dictated by totally different terms.
One way of looking at it is, if you're fortunate enough to even get your quest started, it will be like playing the game on the extreme difficulty setting.
Hope you're up for that!
OF COURSE I AM.
LET ME ASK YOU.
IF YOU WERE THE MOST DEADLY DENIZEN OF ALL.
WOULD YOU WANT TO MESS WITH...

> [A6I4] ==>


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RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 17 November 2017 by Andrew

Here's a very special new book made by me, dril, and KC Green, which you can preorder here. This seemed like a good way to do it since we had no idea how many of these books to print. A hundred? A million? ZERO??? You guys will decide. Plus there's a lot of other cool stuff there. If you have any interest in this book at all, it's probably a good idea for you to jump on it now. There's no telling how easy it will be to get your hands on after the first run has shipped to backers.



About the friends who helped out: my guess is you are probably familiar with dril's twitter brand? A couple years ago we talked about working on this, one thing led to another, and now here we are asking you to buy a book with a spoon concealed inside of it. The way I see it is, you don't just get any clown off the street to write for characters with the complexity and emotional depth that these ones have. You bring out the big guns. This is a man who knows his way around a huge ass. A man who knows all too well the plight of the gamer. A man who won't hesitate to engage with some of your favorite brands, and will not flinch at a longform narrative about a pissed off guy searching the world for his spoon.

KC Green has already done some good work with the SBaHJ franchise, you may remember. For the sake of authenticity I did a lot of coloring work over his pencils and put some serious attention on generally screwing everything up. Don't worry, we had some very important standards of quality that I took great care to ensure we catastrophically failed to meet. KC does a lot of other great stuff too. Did you know he did the dog who says this is fine even though the room is on fire? It's crazy how much people love that damn dog. Not everyone knows he did it though, and people should applaud him more for his stuff. Same with dril. Let's hear it for these boys and their priceless contributions to our society. I hope you like this book!

Posted on 11 November 2017 by Andrew



Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.

Posted on 14 September 2017 by Andrew

ANNOUNCEMENT ONE

Hiveswap has been released. You should go play it!



Huge thanks to the entire What Pumpkin Games team for all their hard work on this project. Everyone involved has much to be proud of. Personally, I think the game is VERY GOOD! Really, better than I imagined it would be when scribbling notes for it years ago. Credit is owed to the fans for their patience while the necessary time was taken to build a studio capable of making a game like this. And above all, credit is owed to the great team that brought it to life. If you happen to spot any contributors out in the wild, on social media or such, I hope you will extend your appreciation for what they have accomplished.

ANNOUNCEMENT TWO

What Pumpkin and Homestuck are partnering with Viz Media to work on a lot of cool stuff together in the future. This will include projects based on both the Homestuck and Hiveswap worlds. The possibilities are wide open, but here are a couple examples of things we know we're going to work on already...

Viz will begin releasing the Homestuck books again, starting next year. These will be nice new hardcover editions, and the plan is to just keep turning out volumes until the entire story is in print. Each volume will be full of my Secret Notes just like the previous ones were. Viz will also be involved in the release of the mysterious epilogue project I alluded to a while ago. Details on format, release date, etc, will remain undisclosed until further notice, but you can expect more information about that to surface next year too. I wanted to do something a little unusual for it, something existing outside the confines of the web story. Working with Viz struck me as good opportunity for this.

Aside from that, anything can happen. Take a look at the sorts of things Viz has already published or produced. These are all examples of things on the table for future consideration for either Homestuck or Hiveswap. I've got plenty of ideas, and so do they. Maybe you do too??



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