Jake: Solicit profound wisdom from your friendly guide.
JAKE: SIIIIIGH. ERISOLSPRITE: no. JAKE: Oh! Hey there buddy i nearly forgot you were bobbing about over there what with my emotional dilemmas. ERISOLSPRITE: oh plea2e, a2 iif that loud heavvy 2iigh wwa2nt 2o obvviiou2ly diirected at gettiin my take on your 2HIITTY, BORIING boyfriiend problem2. JAKE: Heheheh. Was i really so transparent? JAKE: Youre a good man mr erisol. A good man with a good heart. Im lucky to have you as a friend. ERISOLSPRITE: no, you bloody iimbeciile. ERISOLSPRITE: ii am not a good man, ii dont havve a good heart, and iim not your fuckiin friiend. ERISOLSPRITE: ii thiink you may be the dumbe2t liivviin beiing ii havve evver encountered. ERISOLSPRITE: ii dont evven knoww wwhy ii bothered floatiing dowwn thii2 liittle gra22y gulch twwo fliip you the daiily biird. ii mu2t be out of my already tortured pan twwo bother wwiith ANY of you ovveremotiional fuckbag2. JAKE: I suppose its true. You can be a bit of a surly customer. JAKE: I dont hold it against you though. You have always been a wonderful source of amusement and companionship in this desolate place. ERISOLSPRITE: wwoww, iit2 cool ii amu2e you, that really giivve2 meaniing to my joke of an exii2tence, ii mean WWOWW, thank2. JAKE: Sure thing. JAKE: Im just not sure who else to talk to about my issues with dirk. ERISOLSPRITE: ok, wwhy dont you giivve thii2 per2on a wwhiirl: NOT ME? JAKE: Im so conflicted. Ive enjoyed our time together and all the adventures weve had over the last few months. JAKE: But as a paramour he has been overbearing to say the least. I dont know if i have the gumption to withstand another round of needy overtures. JAKE: What do you think sir sprite? Should i put the old kibash on the affair? ERISOLSPRITE: ii hate howw you 2ay evverythiing. howw can he 2tand you. JAKE: Although frankly that prospect alone sounds arduous. JAKE: I wouldnt even know what to say to the poor fella. JAKE: You are my mystical guide on this adventure! What perchance might you advise? ERISOLSPRITE: alriight you wwant 2ome redrom coun2el, wwell here you go. ERISOLSPRITE: iim of the miind2et that wwhen you havve a rock 2oliid piiece of a22 tiied twwo the dock, you dont bloody wwell tug the knot loo2e and 2hovve the fucker off wwiith the heel a your boot. ERISOLSPRITE: but then another part of me ju2t wwonder2 wwhat the FUCK ii ju2t 2aiid there? liike that wwa2 ju2t 2uch a wweiird 2ociiopathiic thought ii had, ii hone2tly had no iidea howw bad ii could po22iibly feel about my2elf untiil ii BECAME my2elf, iif THAT make2 2en2e. ERISOLSPRITE: your bro ha2 feeliin2 twwo con2iider, he2 not 2ome 2liice of grub2teak. wwhy are you con2ultiing wwiith me, iim a dii2a2ter. no iim a dii2a2ter that 2hiit iit2 emotiional pant2 wwiith thiick liiquiid CATA2TROPHE, 2o dont evven come near me. JAKE: Oh mr erisol. You are in rare form today. ERISOLSPRITE: fuck you jake. iim not funny. ii havve no actual clue wwhy you thiink iim 2o funny, 2o PII22 OFF. JAKE: HAHAHAHAHAHA! ERISOLSPRITE: ii 2hould havve exploded my2elf the moment he 2pawwned me. ERISOLSPRITE: evvery day iim wwonderiin wwhy ii havvent blowwn my2elf up yet. ERISOLSPRITE: one tiime ii thiink ii almo2t diid? ERISOLSPRITE: then ii ju2t thought... ERISOLSPRITE: MEH. ERISOLSPRITE: ii thiink the truth ii2 deep dowwn ii mu2t lovve 2ufferiin. ERISOLSPRITE: ju2t liike you and wwhat2 hii2 face and your TRAINWRECK of a mate2priit2hiip. JAKE: STOP! STOP!!! MY SIDES. JAKE: Your act is too rich. Thanks buddy this is cheering me up at least a little. ERISOLSPRITE: 2hut up. ERISOLSPRITE: oh and you knoww wwhat el2e ii2 fliippiin BULL2HIIT? ERISOLSPRITE: thii2 hoax that youre iimplyiin there2 no one el2e twwo talk twwo about thii2. ERISOLSPRITE: TALK TWWO A MEMBER OF YOUR OWWN FUCKIIN 2PECIIE2 FOR A CHANGE. ERISOLSPRITE: wwhat about crocker. try ruiiniin her day wwiith your wwii2hy wwa2hy rubbii2h. JAKE: Youre right. I really should catch up with Janey. JAKE: Its been a while since we spoke. It does seem like more and more im the one to get in touch with her. JAKE: I do hope she hasnt tired too badly of listening to my problems. The last thing i want is to give the impression that everything revolves around my various romantic hurdles. ERISOLSPRITE: revvolvve around? iit2 a biit late for that jake. ERISOLSPRITE: your flu2hed quadrant ii2 a black hole and wwe are all beiing dragged 2creamiin through iit2 evvent horiizon. ERISOLSPRITE: ju2t talk twwo jane, and nevver fuckiin look at me agaiin for the re2t of your liife. ERISOLSPRITE: iim leavviing. hey here2 one for the road. JAKE: Ah! There she blows. Your favorite finger of all. JAKE: You sure do love showing that one to people. Its actually become a vaguely comforting gesture. ERISOLSPRITE: you knoww wwhat youvve done jake. ERISOLSPRITE: you havve totally RUIINED the act of fliippiin people off. ERISOLSPRITE: iit wwa2 the one joy ii had left. ii hope youre happy. JAKE: Boy howdy!!!
Here's another huge deal announcement. A "bomb shell", you could say. The zodiac has officially been extended to include 288 signs, instead of the meager assortment of 12 you are familiar with. The resulting system is known as the Extended Zodiac. You may determine your True Sign by taking a test, if you wish.
I envisioned an expansion like this a couple years ago, when it became clear that due to the large volume of NPCs in Hiveswap, many new troll symbols would have to be created. So we made a large library of symbols to draw from when designing characters (A lot more symbols than characters. Don't worry, the game roster isn't THAT out of control.) But why stop at just a static library of new signs when you could take the opportunity to reinvent astrology itself?
The test uses a couple other personal classifiers from Homestuck lore to triangulate your True Sign designation from this dizzying barrage of iconography. What do you do with this information? I don't know. Make some cool new OCs? Discuss your new sign with friends? Cause great agitation and bewilderment among astrological purists? The sky's the limit. Also, those invested in what qualifies as "canon" when it comes to Homestuck lore may take interest in this test, which formally evaluates whether you are a Prospit or Derse Dreamer (involving a new term of art for the sake of this system, called Lunar Sway), as well as your Aspect. I am sure some will wonder whether this means a God Tier Class test will be available as well. Some day, yes, probably. For now, only Aspect is applicable to this system. But the precedent now exists for the expectation to be CANONICALLY classified by literally any absurd profiling system I have ever concocted, and you have just obtained a full license to not let anyone forget this.
Here's a very special new book made by me, dril, and KC Green, which you can preorder here. This seemed like a good way to do it since we had no idea how many of these books to print. A hundred? A million? ZERO??? You guys will decide. Plus there's a lot of other cool stuff there. If you have any interest in this book at all, it's probably a good idea for you to jump on it now. There's no telling how easy it will be to get your hands on after the first run has shipped to backers.
About the friends who helped out: my guess is you are probably familiar with dril's twitter brand? A couple years ago we talked about working on this, one thing led to another, and now here we are asking you to buy a book with a spoon concealed inside of it. The way I see it is, you don't just get any clown off the street to write for characters with the complexity and emotional depth that these ones have. You bring out the big guns. This is a man who knows his way around a huge ass. A man who knows all too well the plight of the gamer. A man who won't hesitate to engage with some of your favorite brands, and will not flinch at a longform narrative about a pissed off guy searching the world for his spoon.
KC Green has already done some good work with the SBaHJ franchise, you may remember. For the sake of authenticity I did a lot of coloring work over his pencils and put some serious attention on generally screwing everything up. Don't worry, we had some very important standards of quality that I took great care to ensure we catastrophically failed to meet. KC does a lot of other great stuff too. Did you know he did the dog who says this is fine even though the room is on fire? It's crazy how much people love that damn dog. Not everyone knows he did it though, and people should applaud him more for his stuff. Same with dril. Let's hear it for these boys and their priceless contributions to our society. I hope you like this book!
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.
Hiveswap has been released. You should go play it!
Huge thanks to the entire What Pumpkin Games team for all their hard work on this project. Everyone involved has much to be proud of. Personally, I think the game is VERY GOOD! Really, better than I imagined it would be when scribbling notes for it years ago. Credit is owed to the fans for their patience while the necessary time was taken to build a studio capable of making a game like this. And above all, credit is owed to the great team that brought it to life. If you happen to spot any contributors out in the wild, on social media or such, I hope you will extend your appreciation for what they have accomplished.
What Pumpkin and Homestuck are partnering with Viz Media to work on a lot of cool stuff together in the future. This will include projects based on both the Homestuck and Hiveswap worlds. The possibilities are wide open, but here are a couple examples of things we know we're going to work on already...
Viz will begin releasing the Homestuck books again, starting next year. These will be nice new hardcover editions, and the plan is to just keep turning out volumes until the entire story is in print. Each volume will be full of my Secret Notes just like the previous ones were. Viz will also be involved in the release of the mysterious epilogue project I alluded to a while ago. Details on format, release date, etc, will remain undisclosed until further notice, but you can expect more information about that to surface next year too. I wanted to do something a little unusual for it, something existing outside the confines of the web story. Working with Viz struck me as good opportunity for this.
Aside from that, anything can happen. Take a look at the sorts of things Viz has already published or produced. These are all examples of things on the table for future consideration for either Homestuck or Hiveswap. I've got plenty of ideas, and so do they. Maybe you do too??