ROSE: Nothing yet. ROSE: But reasonably soon, within a certain window, it will be time to leave. ROSE: We will then pilot this meteor as fast as we can make it go in that exact direction. SOLLUX: what's that way? ROSE: Nothing whatsoever. ROSE: As of now, that way lies darkness and uncertainty beyond description. KANAYA: I See KANAYA: Then Perhaps We Should Reserve The Infinite Darkness Plan For The Maybe Column For Now KANAYA: I Think Im Even Willing To Let Dave Take A Crack At The Logistics Before We Commit To That Particular Maneuver Daring Though It Sounds DAVE: aw yeah DAVE: i got sicknasty logistics up my sleeve DAVE: i just call them stics fyi which is how you know im way savvy about them DAVE: most of the stics im fine tuning atm involve rap though i should warn you DAVE: but dave what if that dope as hell plan falls through i can hear you ask DAVE: plan b DAVE: involves drawing some shitty cartoons DAVE: and not giving a fuck about stuff TEREZI: >8D TEREZI: 1 H3R3BY S3COND TH1S COOL DUD3S R4D1C4L MOT1ON ON GROUNDS OF R1D1CULOUSLY D3C4D3NT 4TT1R3 KANAYA: Yes Im Willing To Humor Elaboration On This Rap Centric Plan And Its Apathy Based Contingencies KANAYA: Even If Its Excessively Stupid ROSE: Trust me, it is. ROSE: Just as you should trust me that by the time we leave, if we leave exactly within the designated window and are able to travel at nearly the speed of light, the meteor will trace a route through the Furthest Ring which will topologically resolve as a straight line. ROSE: It will lead us directly to the new session. ROSE: For a brief moment, the sun will be visible from that session. ROSE: And we will be riding the chartreuse coattails of its photons. ARADIA: this is why you all needed an advanced seer! ARADIA: i have become familiar with the ways of the fabric out here but even i couldnt chart a journey that long or complex ROSE: That's because it's almost impossible to do so voluntarily. ROSE: If we were to head right now in the session's true physical direction, it wouldn't be long before we found ourselves traveling in just the opposite direction. ROSE: This is not even to speak of the chronological peculiarities. After traveling some distance, we could discover we were suddenly tailgating our own meteor from several days ago. ROSE: If we are particularly unfortunate, we might even collide in an intersection of spacetime with a meteor piloted by our future selves. ROSE: And if we looked closely at that meteor before impact, we might notice a very large dent in it, which it originally suffered during the very collision we were about to experience. ROSE: It takes precision and timing to reach your destination out here, and most importantly, the grace of the gods themselves. KARKAT: PPPFFUUUUUUUHHHHHHH......... WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE... ROSE: Hm? SOLLUX: kk, what the fuck? SOLLUX: were you h0lding your breath that wh0le time? KARKAT: YEAH KARKAT: SO? TEREZI: OH GOD, YOU DUMMY TEREZI: YOU DONT 4CTU4LLY H4V3 TO HOLD YOUR BR34TH WH3N YOUR3 B31NG QU13T! KARKAT: OK YEAH KARKAT: I MEAN, OF COURSE IT SOUNDS OBVIOUS WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT DAVE: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha DAVE: rose i told you this dude is fucking incredible KARKAT: STFU. KARKAT: LOOK I'M JUST A LITTLE OUT OF PRACTICE AT STAYING QUIET FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME, OK? TEREZI: H3 R34LLY 1S >:| KARKAT: ANYWAY, WHATEVER, SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING LALONDE IS KARKAT: WE'RE GOING TO BE ON THIS HORRIBLE ROCK A GOOD WHILE LONGER TO GET TO THIS PARADISE SESSION OR WHATEVER IT IS? ROSE: Yes. KARKAT: AND SINCE WE PROBABLY AREN'T GOING TO FORCE SOLLUX'S BULLSHIT "HALF GHOST" OR WHATEVER TO POP HIMSELF AGAIN LIKE A PACKET OF NASTY FETID MUSTARD SO HE CAN SHOOT THIS THING INTO HYPERSPACE... SOLLUX: hey man, come 0n. not c0ol. KARKAT: I'M GUESSING THAT MEANS IT'LL TAKE CONSIDERABLY LONGER TO GET THERE THAN IT DID TO GET HERE? ROSE: Yes. KARKAT: I JUST KNEW IT KARKAT: THIS IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE REALIZED KARKAT: WHEN WE FIRST FLED TO THIS METEOR I HAD THIS WEIRD FEELING WE'D WIND UP SPENDING FOREVER AT THIS MISERABLE PLACE, ASSUMING WE ACTUALLY SURVIVED. KARKAT: I'M ALMOST AFRAID TO ASK, HOW LONG IS THIS TRIP GOING TO TAKE? KARKAT: PROBABLY SOME ABSOLUTELY PREPOSTEROUS AMOUNT OF TIME, LIKE THREE LONG MADDENING SWEEPS, RIGHT??? KARKAT: WOULDN'T THAT JUST BE SO COSMICALLY CONVENIENT AND PERFECT FOR EVERYBODY! ESPECIALLY FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT PURPOSE OF ALL, MY UNINTERRUPTED CONTINUUM OF PERSONAL AGONY!!! KARKAT: THANK YOU, DARK GODS! THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!! YOU WIN THIS ROUND! YOU WIN ALL THE ROUNDS APPARENTLY!!!!! THERE ARE NO ROUNDS EVEN. THERE'S JUST YOUR SLIMY TENDRILS, OUR NAKED BODIES, AND EPOCHS OF MOLESTATION. ROSE: Don't be ridiculous. It won't take nearly that long. KARKAT: OH ROSE: It'll only take about three years. KARKAT: OK KARKAT: THAT'S NOT SO BAD I GUESS. KARKAT: WAIT, HOW LONG ARE YEARS SUPPOSED TO BE AGAIN? KARKAT: WAS IT LIKE TWO WEEKS OR SOMETHING? ROSE: Yes, two. ROSE: And then fifty more. KARKAT: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
I've been thinking this over for the last few weeks, and I've decided now is the best time to suspend all regular updates until I've finished the story, rather than pausing just before I start on the final animation. When I'm done, I'll post it all at once. There are a lot of reasons why I think this is the best strategy.
Primarily, it's about efficiency, and being able to work on the remaining (and likely the most difficult parts) of the story without distractions, or the added challenge of having to crank out the next serial update as fast as possible, which means I always have to stay totally linear with the work. This way I can produce the rest of it more comprehensively, prepare animation assets in advance, do more stuff in parallel, etc. It will go faster. And ultimately, I think it'll read better as one thing, rather than as a sequence tortuously spread out over time, as has been the norm for years. I think it's close enough to the end now to safely retire Homestuck as a serial reading experience. There's nothing to be gained from that presentation anymore, in my view. It's just time to bear down and get it done.
I guess we're breaking for a long time on a big cliffhanger, but there's no way around that. Actually, pausing at any point later would probably be even worse, as it keeps pushing into endgame territory. That's why I'm stopping now instead of later. With such a big readership, the reactions will only get crazier, and the demand for new updates will get more intense. Over time, knowing so many people are slamming refresh many times per day starts to be more of an omnipresent distraction than anything. I think there is sort of a perception that I am creatively feeding off the hysteria surrounding the comic, but on a very practical level this is not true. Creating entertainment is not really a lifestyle of madcap shenanigans. It is a very sober, often dull process that requires a huge amount of time and concentration. It will be better to disarm the hype machine while I get the hard stuff done.
So what is the itinerary? Need to finish A663 through A666, and then A7. Keep in mind that these sub acts can be literally any length, even onepage. There's a good bit of ground to cover, but most of the effort will be tied up in animation chores.
I don't really have a time estimate here, and am not sure there's any real advantage in coming up with one. It'll just be a while. I also have to allocate some time to work on the Kickstarter game. That didn't stop being a thing I have to do. It's coming along. I'll probably have a more substantive update on that before the end of the year. There hasn't been much to report yet since it's mostly been in a high level planning and writing phase. And firming up tons of legal minutiae. Stuff like that.
But I will say there is something new to watch out for next month. Kind of a secret project I'm involved with, unrelated to MSPA or the KS game. Well, it's technically not that secret. It's only secret if you don't know about it yet. Meditate on those profound words, and keep an eye out for news on this in coming weeks.
Oh yeah. Almost forgot, I'll have to take some time to port the site to a new server. Obviously it hasn't been cutting it the last couple months. So we'll work on that soon. Hopefully the new service will be able to handle the massive heart attack the next batch up updates will represent.
During the gigapause, there should still be plenty to see here in the news section. Whether it's about the aforementioned projects, or new product releases, there'll be a lot going on. Trust me, the coolest stuff at What Pumpkin this season has yet to be released.
A brief update on Namco High: Looks like we are targeting December 17th for release. Be sure to tune in on that day for the most incredible simulated dating experience of your entire life.
Also if you click on that, and scroll down to the "Students" section, you will notice there are some Homestuck characters being revealed as secret additions to the cast. They are secret to everyone but you! And a lot of other people probably.
This is a dating sim I've been working on with Namco Bandai's ShiftyLook where you can guide the romantic fortunes of all your favorite classic video game charact... wait. What? You're confused? I can't imagine why. But ok, I'll start at the beginning.
A while ago, ShiftyLook, which is a Namco Bandai jam, asked me if I wanted to work on a project for them. It could be anything. I said that sounds cool. Except that I already had a lot to do, so maybe it wasn't realistic. But they said that's no problem. All I had to do was assemble an elite team of writers, artists, and programmers, and tell them what to do. If I pulled together a crack squad of loyal creatives, they would HAVE to do what I said, no matter how little sense it made. So I said that sounds good. I thought about it really hard, for three of the most intellectually excruciating seconds of my life. Then I said we should make a dating sim. I mean. Obviously.
They said, are you sure that's a good idea? I said, hey who do you think is in charge here? They said they were. I said, oh, right. But it didn't matter. In the confusion, my pitch had somehow been approved due to a clerical error in Japan. Then I shouted suckers and fell backwards out of the airplane.
While tumbling magnificently back to Earth, I pulled the vintage rolodex out of my horsehair fannypack, and began recruiting the best of the best. And so my team was convened. They were waiting for me below with the trampoline thing firefighters use. They watched as the Hussie stunt-mannequin gently descended, and then exploded with unexpected confetti. I then revealed that I had been waiting there with them for the last several hours, wearing a disguise, straddling my most famous horse. I introduced myself, and they graciously pretended they didn't know it was me all along. (I repeat. Best of the best.) I then clapped my hands and rubbed them together a lot and said, who's ready to make some NOISE in the dating sim genre? Who's ready to DO SOME DAMAGE? Nobody knew what to say to that, so I pressed on valiantly. I think I know what the people want, I said. What they WANT, is to be able to manipulate their favorite classic video game characters into a variety of lurid but safe-for-work romantic encounters. What they WANT, for instance, is to cajole a cute Katamari into some sort of kissing situation with the spaceship from Galaga. Are you ready to GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT? They erupted into applause and began chanting my name, and they haven't stopped since.
Namco High comes out probably some time next month.
Homestuck book 3 and Problem Sleuth book 5 are here! The Homestuck book contains Act 3. The Problem Sleuth book is the final volume of the series.
(The cover of PS5 glows in the dark by the way.)
And now that the Problem Sleuth series is wrapped up, you can get the full set. Dedicating this much paper to three cartoon detectives trying to leave an office should be illegal. But it isn't, and we are exploiting that fact to our advantage here.
We upgraded the whole What Pumpkin store. There's a bunch of new stuff to buy as well! Including these lovely shirts:
All these great designs were by Rennie Kingsley. Alpha kid designs by the same artist will be coming soon too.
There will be so many other cool things hitting WP this fall, I honestly couldn't list them all off the top of my head. Just keep refreshing the site constantly. Even in your sleep. Then you will be ok.