tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]
TG: ALART ALART ARLART AL*ERT AL*ART!!!!! TG: hugely important cornespondence TG: paging doctor crocker TG: rolal to docrock GG: :? TG: heh heh TG: paging TG: bet you would like to get PAGED huh jane TG: *sweet innuendo GG: I'm not sure that qualifies as innuendo at all. TG: wonkwonkwonkwonkwonk GG: I honestly think you misspell things intentionally more often than not, regardless of blood alcohol content. GG: You just typed wonk five times in a row! TG: i have only junst begun to wonk GG: What is this urgent thing about, anyway? GG: Is it about your boobytrap? GG: Because you're too late. It already blew up my whole bedroom, thank you very much. TG: no no TG: i mean i still feel shitty about that but its not abiout that TG: i know you already ran it i been talking to the shades GG: Yes, me too. Right now in fact, and I'm in a bit of a hurry! GG: What is this about? What are you even doing? TG: im in the lab doing a thing with my cat TG: but that doesnt matter i was doing some thingkin and was still feeling guilty about fuckin up ur computer and all of the sudden im in bff~ath mode here TG: so i gotta tell you something u need to know before its too late GG: Before what's too late? TG: you and jake hookin up stupid! GG: Oh my god. TG: this is about turnin all your steamydreamz in to STEAMAY REALTITIES TG: ***realities lolo GG: This isn't happening now... TG: whereins jc + je kiss & hug loads and start turnin out big heaps of wrigglers the old fashioned way<3<3,3,3<338O!!!! TG: i cant decide whether this mental image porcolating here is hot as shit or cute as fuck...... GG: No! Cease your lascivious porcolating at once! GG: Roxy, I can see you're set on just wasting more of my time. GG: I understand if you don't wish to play this game, but please try not to interfere with those of us who do! TG: no no im fine with playing just shut up TG: this is serious you need to tell him how u feel VERY SOON TG: or you might miss your chance GG: My chance? GG: What are you talking about? TG: i found out today taht dirks gonna make a move GG: A move? You mean, a romantic one? TG: yes GG: On you? TG: omfffgggggg TG: JANE GET A CLUE GG: Um. GG: On me? TG: no TG: no my dear sweet janey not on you TG: ON JAKE!!! GG: Oh. GG: Ohhh. GG: I didn't think... GG: That... GG: Hrm. GG: Are you sure? TG: p sure ask glasses if u want GG: Well then. GG: This is quite a development. GG: Poor Dirk! TG: what do you mean GG: Well, surely when he reveals his feelings, Jake will... TG: ?? GG: I mean... GG: He couldn't possibly... TG: wut TG: repriprocate? GG: Yes? TG: why not GG: Because Jake is not a homosexual! TG: mm hm TG: are u suuuuuure??? GG: Are you saying he is? TG: nope GG: Then what are you saying? TG: im saying that TG: i dont fuckin know GG: But... GG: I thought it reasonable to presume he takes a shining to ladies. GG: He does speak fondly of certain females from his favorite films, does he not? TG: true that TG: but TG: how much does that really mean here jane TG: can you be totes sure on account a some dorky moive crushes GG: Well, now I just don't know. You have me completely bamboozled about this. GG: What do you think? TG: all im saying is TG: my gaydar is like the exanct fuckin poposite of urs TG: which is to say it is better than completety nonexistant TG: mine is so sensitive it has been used to sweep the ocean floor for mythical sea monsters TG: turns out TG: all of those monsters are SO gay TG: truth B) GG: Okay. Then what does your acute seabeast scanner make of Jake, then? TG: thats what im sayin TG: i really have no idea TG: kid is a goggamn egnigma TG: hes as hard 2 read as fine print TG: and how i do mean FIIINE ;) GG: Oh brother. GG: Then, your guess is as good as mine? GG: I'm not sure what I'm supposed to conclude from this. TG: youre supposed to concluce TG: that you SAID you were going to believe anything i said today remember?? GG: Yes. GG: But you just said you don't know!!! TG: exactly TG: therefore you must believe me when i say TG: if dirk lets on all his feelins there is at least a CHANCE jake will go like DERP OK DUDE LETS MAKE OUT TG: and that means poor jane is screwed without ever even throwing her filthy old fedora in the ring TG: it is a ring i lke ot call TEH ENGLISH SPEEPSTAKES TG: and if u dont youll regret it TG: and i mean TG: OFFICIALLY? TG: i cant have a horse in the race TG: wait bad metaphor ebcause of dirk and his fucking horstes n/m TG: like you are both my friends and im not out to mess him up or anything TG: but i kinda owe it to you as my friend to let you know whats up TG: and also to get you to stop being such a WORLD CHAMPIAN TIGHTASS TG: and let jake know GG: Oh, not this tightass baloney again. TG: jane GG: What? TG: jaane.. GG: ... TG: jc your are the tightassiest tightass who ever tightened up an ass GG: No way! GG: We settled this, remember? GG: My prior resolution made it definitive; I was to be regarded as exceedingly permissive in certain respects! TG: jane i am afraid TG: that ur bottom TG: is a stubborn clam TG: guarding priceless treasure TG: and a deadly secret GG: So ridiculous. >:P TG: im not saying be an idiot and start gushing at him incoherentry TG: but do SOMETHING TG: say how u feel TG: or flirst a bit or ask him out on a date inside the fuckin game or such TG: goddamn ANYTHING other that a bunch of bullshitty pining and tightassy NOTHING TG: you have to do what i say u promised GG: I promised to BELIEVE what you say, not DO it! TG: those 2 things are TG: prespicely the same shit GG: If I agree to say something, will you stop tormenting me about it?? TG: yes TG: but only TG: because that will be impossible for me to do TG: when u + him r snoggin hard in motherfuckin makeout paradise TG: A K A SEX LAND GG: Fine. GG: But let the record show that this resolution has almost nothing whatsoever to do with your use of the phrase "SEX LAND." GG: Just... GG: I need to think of what to say, and wait for the right moment. Is that ok??? TG: sure TG: just dont wait too long TG: and dont underestimate striders wiles TG: nor jakes... TG: lets say TG: open mindedness??????? GG: Well, GG: He does often profess his love for adventure, I suppose. TG: yuuup................ GG: Omg. GG: I really don't have a moment to spare, do I? TG: ur finally gettin it TG: now go TG: and jane im warning u TG: if you dont say somethin to him TG: i am personally entering the game specivically to FUCK UR SHIT UP TG: *LOLLIES OUTIE* tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]
I've been thinking this over for the last few weeks, and I've decided now is the best time to suspend all regular updates until I've finished the story, rather than pausing just before I start on the final animation. When I'm done, I'll post it all at once. There are a lot of reasons why I think this is the best strategy.
Primarily, it's about efficiency, and being able to work on the remaining (and likely the most difficult parts) of the story without distractions, or the added challenge of having to crank out the next serial update as fast as possible, which means I always have to stay totally linear with the work. This way I can produce the rest of it more comprehensively, prepare animation assets in advance, do more stuff in parallel, etc. It will go faster. And ultimately, I think it'll read better as one thing, rather than as a sequence tortuously spread out over time, as has been the norm for years. I think it's close enough to the end now to safely retire Homestuck as a serial reading experience. There's nothing to be gained from that presentation anymore, in my view. It's just time to bear down and get it done.
I guess we're breaking for a long time on a big cliffhanger, but there's no way around that. Actually, pausing at any point later would probably be even worse, as it keeps pushing into endgame territory. That's why I'm stopping now instead of later. With such a big readership, the reactions will only get crazier, and the demand for new updates will get more intense. Over time, knowing so many people are slamming refresh many times per day starts to be more of an omnipresent distraction than anything. I think there is sort of a perception that I am creatively feeding off the hysteria surrounding the comic, but on a very practical level this is not true. Creating entertainment is not really a lifestyle of madcap shenanigans. It is a very sober, often dull process that requires a huge amount of time and concentration. It will be better to disarm the hype machine while I get the hard stuff done.
So what is the itinerary? Need to finish A663 through A666, and then A7. Keep in mind that these sub acts can be literally any length, even onepage. There's a good bit of ground to cover, but most of the effort will be tied up in animation chores.
I don't really have a time estimate here, and am not sure there's any real advantage in coming up with one. It'll just be a while. I also have to allocate some time to work on the Kickstarter game. That didn't stop being a thing I have to do. It's coming along. I'll probably have a more substantive update on that before the end of the year. There hasn't been much to report yet since it's mostly been in a high level planning and writing phase. And firming up tons of legal minutiae. Stuff like that.
But I will say there is something new to watch out for next month. Kind of a secret project I'm involved with, unrelated to MSPA or the KS game. Well, it's technically not that secret. It's only secret if you don't know about it yet. Meditate on those profound words, and keep an eye out for news on this in coming weeks.
Oh yeah. Almost forgot, I'll have to take some time to port the site to a new server. Obviously it hasn't been cutting it the last couple months. So we'll work on that soon. Hopefully the new service will be able to handle the massive heart attack the next batch up updates will represent.
During the gigapause, there should still be plenty to see here in the news section. Whether it's about the aforementioned projects, or new product releases, there'll be a lot going on. Trust me, the coolest stuff at What Pumpkin this season has yet to be released.
A brief update on Namco High: Looks like we are targeting December 17th for release. Be sure to tune in on that day for the most incredible simulated dating experience of your entire life.
Also if you click on that, and scroll down to the "Students" section, you will notice there are some Homestuck characters being revealed as secret additions to the cast. They are secret to everyone but you! And a lot of other people probably.
This is a dating sim I've been working on with Namco Bandai's ShiftyLook where you can guide the romantic fortunes of all your favorite classic video game charact... wait. What? You're confused? I can't imagine why. But ok, I'll start at the beginning.
A while ago, ShiftyLook, which is a Namco Bandai jam, asked me if I wanted to work on a project for them. It could be anything. I said that sounds cool. Except that I already had a lot to do, so maybe it wasn't realistic. But they said that's no problem. All I had to do was assemble an elite team of writers, artists, and programmers, and tell them what to do. If I pulled together a crack squad of loyal creatives, they would HAVE to do what I said, no matter how little sense it made. So I said that sounds good. I thought about it really hard, for three of the most intellectually excruciating seconds of my life. Then I said we should make a dating sim. I mean. Obviously.
They said, are you sure that's a good idea? I said, hey who do you think is in charge here? They said they were. I said, oh, right. But it didn't matter. In the confusion, my pitch had somehow been approved due to a clerical error in Japan. Then I shouted suckers and fell backwards out of the airplane.
While tumbling magnificently back to Earth, I pulled the vintage rolodex out of my horsehair fannypack, and began recruiting the best of the best. And so my team was convened. They were waiting for me below with the trampoline thing firefighters use. They watched as the Hussie stunt-mannequin gently descended, and then exploded with unexpected confetti. I then revealed that I had been waiting there with them for the last several hours, wearing a disguise, straddling my most famous horse. I introduced myself, and they graciously pretended they didn't know it was me all along. (I repeat. Best of the best.) I then clapped my hands and rubbed them together a lot and said, who's ready to make some NOISE in the dating sim genre? Who's ready to DO SOME DAMAGE? Nobody knew what to say to that, so I pressed on valiantly. I think I know what the people want, I said. What they WANT, is to be able to manipulate their favorite classic video game characters into a variety of lurid but safe-for-work romantic encounters. What they WANT, for instance, is to cajole a cute Katamari into some sort of kissing situation with the spaceship from Galaga. Are you ready to GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT? They erupted into applause and began chanting my name, and they haven't stopped since.
Namco High comes out probably some time next month.
Homestuck book 3 and Problem Sleuth book 5 are here! The Homestuck book contains Act 3. The Problem Sleuth book is the final volume of the series.
(The cover of PS5 glows in the dark by the way.)
And now that the Problem Sleuth series is wrapped up, you can get the full set. Dedicating this much paper to three cartoon detectives trying to leave an office should be illegal. But it isn't, and we are exploiting that fact to our advantage here.
We upgraded the whole What Pumpkin store. There's a bunch of new stuff to buy as well! Including these lovely shirts:
All these great designs were by Rennie Kingsley. Alpha kid designs by the same artist will be coming soon too.
There will be so many other cool things hitting WP this fall, I honestly couldn't list them all off the top of my head. Just keep refreshing the site constantly. Even in your sleep. Then you will be ok.