-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] --
GC: H3Y L4LOND3 GC: STOP CRY1NG 1N YOUR MOMS B3V3R4G3 GC: SH3 H4T3S YOU 4ND H4S L3FT YOU FOR3V3R GC: H3H3H3H >8D TT: Now I'm confused. TT: On the surface, this appears to be another contrivance from a troll desperate to offend. TT: But John said you wanted to be friends. TT: And if you knew me, I suppose your remark could be construed as a ploy to elicit agreement. TT: And soon, rapport. TT: Not that it would actually work. GC: GOD GC: YOU R34LLY DO T4LK TOO MUCH TT: So which is it? GC: OOOOOOOOOH GC: YOUR T3XT SM3LLS GOOD GC: 1S TH4T L4V3ND3R TT: You smell words? GC: YOU DONT??? TT: Right. Aliens, I forgot. GC: Y3S 1TS 34SY TO FORG3T GC: G1V3N OUR "R4PPORT" GC: 4ND HOW MUCH W3 R34LLY H4V3 1N COMMON GC: 1 FORG3T TH4T YOU HUM4NS 4CTU4LLY COMMUN1C4T3 W1TH SP33CH 1NST34D OF R3L34SING CLOUDS OF FR4GR4NT G4S3S GC: 4ND SM3LL1NG 3ACH OTH3RS S3NT3NC3S TT: Gross. GC: 4H4H4H4 SO GULL1BL3 GC: YOULL B3L13V3 4NYTH1NG 1 T3LL YOU GC: OF COURS3 W3 T4LK DUMMY >8] TT: Still not sure if I'm being courted or trolled here. GC: 1M GO1NG TO GO W1TH TH3 LATT3R GC: 1 H4T3 YOU 4LL QU1T3 4 LOT GC: BUT 1 TH1NK GC: TH3 OTH3RS W1LL 3V3NTU4LLY R34L1Z3 TH4T 1TLL B3 MUTU4LLY B3N3F1C14L FOR US 4LL TO WORK TOG3TH3R GC: 4ND SO TH3YLL PROB4BLY B3 4LL FR13NDLY L1KE L4T3R ON TT: By later on, you mean now? GC: Y34H GC: TH4TS PROB4BLY WH4T JOHN W4S H34RING GC: 4ND M4YBE TH3YLL 3V3N M34N 1T 4ND W4NT TO B3 FR13NDLY GC: BUT 1 1NT3ND TO ST4Y P1SS3D 4T YOU FOR3V3R GC: 3V3N 1F 1 S33M H3LPFUL TT: Then you're in luck. TT: Because you don't. GC: H3H3 NO BUT 1 W1LL BE GC: TH3 F4CT TH4T 1 W1LL B3 H3LPFUL GC: 1S 4N 1MMUT4BL3 F4CT 1 4M ST4T1NG FOR TH3 R3CORD GC: 1T DO3S NOT M34N FR13NDSH1P 1S WH4T 1S T4K1NG PL4C3 H3R3 TT: John was told you were moving backwards through time. TT: Was he gullible to believe this? TT: Or is the fact that I'm asking just further indication of my own gullibility? TT: Feel free to continue shifting the definition of the word to suit your convenience. GC: W3 H4V3NT 3V3N B33N T4LK1NG TO YOU FOR LONG GC: L1K3 4 F3W M1NUT3S FROM MY P3RSP3CT1V3 GC: 1F TH3R3 4R3 SOM3 OF US WHO D3C1D3D TO ST4RT T4LK1NG TO YOU 4T TH3 3ND OF YOUR 4DV3NTUR3 R1GHT OFF TH3 B4T GC: 1NST34D OF 4T THE B3G1NN1NG L1K3 WH4TS LOG1C4L GC: TH3N TH4TS TH31R STUP1D BUS1NESS GC: 1M ST4Y1NG L1N34R GC: C4US3 W31RD T1M3 STUFF G1V3S ME A H34D4CHE GC: OH 4LSO 1TS PO1NTL3SS TT: Alright, let's continue milking my human gullibility and say I believe you. You're the sensible one who's decided to communicate with us in linear lockstep with our timeline in order to help us out. TT: How can you help me? GC: YOU JUST 3NT3R3D YOUR M3D1UM R1GHT TT: Yes. GC: OK GC: DO3S 1T S33M L1K3 TH3R3 1S A SUBTL3 VO1C3 1N YOUR H34D URG1NG YOU TO DO TH1NGS TT: Yes. TT: It's not so subtle, actually. GC: Y3S!!!!!!! >8O GC: FOR M3 TOO 1T W4S MOR3 LOUD 4ND CL34R TH4N FOR TH3 OTH3RS GC: YOU S33 W3 4R3 M34NT TO B3 B3ST H4T3FR13NDS FOR3V3R TT: A beautiful soulgrudge this cosmic was surely authored by the constellations. GC: TH3Y 4LL THOUGHT 1 W4S CR4ZY GC: BUT H4H4H4 1T TURN3D OUT W3 4LL W3R3 1N OUR OWN W4YS GC: TH4T H3LP3D US R34LIZ3 TH3 P4RTICUL4R D3ST1N13S THE G4M3 PUT TOG3TH3R FOR US GC: 1N TH3 VOC4BUL4RY OF L1K3 GC: TH3 HYP3R FL3XIBL3 MYTHOLOGY 1T T41LORS TO 34CH PL4Y3R GROUP TT: You mean, for instance... TT: If a player were to learn she was a "Seer"? GC: Y34H 3X4CTLY! S33R OF M1ND P4G3 OF BR34TH KN1GHT OF BLOOD M41D OF T1M3 GC: 3TC 3TC 3TC GC: 12 FOR US BUT OBV1OUSLY 4 FOR YOU GC: 3V3RY S3SS1ON 1S D1FF3R3NT TT: And this voice? GC: OH Y34H GC: 1TS 4N 3X1L3 TT: Exiled from what? GC: 1T TOOK US FOR3V3R TO F1GUR3 TH1S OUT GC: B3C4US3 TH3Y 4R3NT M34NT TO B3 4N OBV1OUS 4SP3CT OF TH3 G4M3 GC: TH3YR3 ON YOUR D34D PLAN3T GC: JUST L1K3 TH3YR3 ON OURS GC: Y34RS 4FT3R 1TS R3CKON1NG GC: TH31R ROL3 1S TO H3LP YOU ON YOUR QU3ST 1N SOM3 W4YS GC: TH3 OBV1OUS W4Y 1S BY D1R3CTLY GU1DING YOUR 4CT1ONS GC: BUT M4YB3 TH3 MOR3 1MPORT4NT W4YS 4R3 TH3S3 L1TTL3 TH1NGS TH3Y DO PROB4BLY W1THOUT 3V3N R34L1Z1NG 1T GC: 4CT1ONS TH4T COMPL3T3 LOOPS 1N TH3 T1M3L1NE GC: COGS 1N P4R4DOX SP4C3 TT: Paradox space? GC: OH H3LL GC: L1ST3N TH3 UN1V3RS3 W1LL 34T P4R4DOX3S FOR BR34KF4ST GC: 4ND SO W1LL TH1S G4M3 GC: G3T US3D TO 1T GC: BY NOW YOU SHOULD R34L1Z3 TH1S WHOL3 M3SS W4S 4 B1G S3LF FULLF1LL1NG CLUST3RFUCK GC: A HUG3 ORG14ST1C MOB1US DOUBL3 R34CH4ROUND TT: I'm starting to see that. TT: So the exiles are on Earth? Does that mean our goal is to get back there too? To resurrect it somehow? GC: NO NO NO GC: S33 1RON1C4LLY TH3Y G3T TO DO TH4T GC: 4FT3R TH3YR3 DON3 H3LP1NG YOU TH4T 1S GC: YOUR JOB 1S OF GR34T3R CONS3QU3NC3 TO S4Y TH3 L34ST GC: BUT P4RT OF TH31R JOB 1S TO R3BU1LD L1F3 4ND C1V1L1Z4T1ON TH3R3 GC: 4ND 1F TH3YR3 SUCC3SSFUL 1N THOUS4NDS OR M1LL1ONS OF Y34RS TH3 T3CHNOLOGY 1S UN34RTH3D 4ND TH3 PL4N3T 1S R1P3 FOR S33D1NG 4LL OV3R 4G41N TT: You never answered the question. Where were they exiled from? GC: FROM TH3 TWO K1NGDOMS 1N TH3 1NC1P1SPH3R3 GC: 3XP4TR14T3D DUR1NG TH3 R3CKON1NG GC: FORM3R 4G3NTS TT: What are agents? GC: 1 TH1NK GC: TH1S W1LL B3 MOR3 CONSTRUCT1V3 GC: 1F 1 CONT4CT YOU 4G41N 1N 4 L1TTL3 WH1L3 GC: WH3N YOU KNOW MOR3 GC: 4ND 1 DONT H4V3 TO 3XPL41N SO MUCH TT: When? GC: 1N 4 COUPL3 OF S3CONDS GC: FOR M3 GC: BUT NOT FOR YOU GC: SUCK3R
Here's another huge deal announcement. A "bomb shell", you could say. The zodiac has officially been extended to include 288 signs, instead of the meager assortment of 12 you are familiar with. The resulting system is known as the Extended Zodiac. You may determine your True Sign by taking a test, if you wish.
I envisioned an expansion like this a couple years ago, when it became clear that due to the large volume of NPCs in Hiveswap, many new troll symbols would have to be created. So we made a large library of symbols to draw from when designing characters (A lot more symbols than characters. Don't worry, the game roster isn't THAT out of control.) But why stop at just a static library of new signs when you could take the opportunity to reinvent astrology itself?
The test uses a couple other personal classifiers from Homestuck lore to triangulate your True Sign designation from this dizzying barrage of iconography. What do you do with this information? I don't know. Make some cool new OCs? Discuss your new sign with friends? Cause great agitation and bewilderment among astrological purists? The sky's the limit. Also, those invested in what qualifies as "canon" when it comes to Homestuck lore may take interest in this test, which formally evaluates whether you are a Prospit or Derse Dreamer (involving a new term of art for the sake of this system, called Lunar Sway), as well as your Aspect. I am sure some will wonder whether this means a God Tier Class test will be available as well. Some day, yes, probably. For now, only Aspect is applicable to this system. But the precedent now exists for the expectation to be CANONICALLY classified by literally any absurd profiling system I have ever concocted, and you have just obtained a full license to not let anyone forget this.
Here's a very special new book made by me, dril, and KC Green, which you can preorder here. This seemed like a good way to do it since we had no idea how many of these books to print. A hundred? A million? ZERO??? You guys will decide. Plus there's a lot of other cool stuff there. If you have any interest in this book at all, it's probably a good idea for you to jump on it now. There's no telling how easy it will be to get your hands on after the first run has shipped to backers.
About the friends who helped out: my guess is you are probably familiar with dril's twitter brand? A couple years ago we talked about working on this, one thing led to another, and now here we are asking you to buy a book with a spoon concealed inside of it. The way I see it is, you don't just get any clown off the street to write for characters with the complexity and emotional depth that these ones have. You bring out the big guns. This is a man who knows his way around a huge ass. A man who knows all too well the plight of the gamer. A man who won't hesitate to engage with some of your favorite brands, and will not flinch at a longform narrative about a pissed off guy searching the world for his spoon.
KC Green has already done some good work with the SBaHJ franchise, you may remember. For the sake of authenticity I did a lot of coloring work over his pencils and put some serious attention on generally screwing everything up. Don't worry, we had some very important standards of quality that I took great care to ensure we catastrophically failed to meet. KC does a lot of other great stuff too. Did you know he did the dog who says this is fine even though the room is on fire? It's crazy how much people love that damn dog. Not everyone knows he did it though, and people should applaud him more for his stuff. Same with dril. Let's hear it for these boys and their priceless contributions to our society. I hope you like this book!
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.
Hiveswap has been released. You should go play it!
Huge thanks to the entire What Pumpkin Games team for all their hard work on this project. Everyone involved has much to be proud of. Personally, I think the game is VERY GOOD! Really, better than I imagined it would be when scribbling notes for it years ago. Credit is owed to the fans for their patience while the necessary time was taken to build a studio capable of making a game like this. And above all, credit is owed to the great team that brought it to life. If you happen to spot any contributors out in the wild, on social media or such, I hope you will extend your appreciation for what they have accomplished.
What Pumpkin and Homestuck are partnering with Viz Media to work on a lot of cool stuff together in the future. This will include projects based on both the Homestuck and Hiveswap worlds. The possibilities are wide open, but here are a couple examples of things we know we're going to work on already...
Viz will begin releasing the Homestuck books again, starting next year. These will be nice new hardcover editions, and the plan is to just keep turning out volumes until the entire story is in print. Each volume will be full of my Secret Notes just like the previous ones were. Viz will also be involved in the release of the mysterious epilogue project I alluded to a while ago. Details on format, release date, etc, will remain undisclosed until further notice, but you can expect more information about that to surface next year too. I wanted to do something a little unusual for it, something existing outside the confines of the web story. Working with Viz struck me as good opportunity for this.
Aside from that, anything can happen. Take a look at the sorts of things Viz has already published or produced. These are all examples of things on the table for future consideration for either Homestuck or Hiveswap. I've got plenty of ideas, and so do they. Maybe you do too??