-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] --
GA: Your Dark Spectacled Friend Has Advised Me On A More Effective Method For Trolling You GA: I Think His Contention Is That This Strategy Will Have The Opposite Of The Intended Effect And Precipitate A Sort Of Bond Between Us That Is Established In Mutual Antagonism GA: What Do You Think About This TT: I think you're shrewd to have recognized his ploy of sabotage, and you've earned my compliments. GA: Ah See It Is Working Already TT: What is? GA: Ive Listened To His Advice GA: And Have Resolved To Modify The Approach Slightly GA: I Know What I Have To Do GA: What We Have To Do Really TT: What's that? GA: Remember The First Time We Spoke TT: Yes, but you said it wasn't the first time you spoke to me. TT: We'll graciously omit my embarrassing skepticism however. GA: The First Time You Spoke To Me Was The Second Time I Spoke To You TT: This conversation doesn't sound like your first time either. GA: This Is Your Second Conversation With Me But Is My Seventh With You TT: And when exactly does your maiden encounter take place? GA: Thats Next Time TT: So to clarify. TT: If the matching of my first with your second is denoted by 1=2, then the sequence would be: TT: 1=2, 2=7, 3=1, 4=?, ... GA: Yes And The Rest Of The Sequence Is Simply GA: 4=3, 5=4, 6=5, 7=6 GA: Unless My Future Self Stowed Another Conversation In Between One Of Those Which Is Entirely Possible GA: But Urrgh I Dont Want To Think About That TT: Why is it that when the subject of temporal mechanics is broached your sparing troll intellects etcetera etcetera. GA: See That Is What I Mean Rose You Are Not As Dumb Of A Girl As I Was Initially Lead To Believe TT: You mean based on the first impression I am apparently about to make in our next conversation? GA: Yes TT: What could I possibly say that will leave such an imprint? GA: That Is Why I Have Contacted You Now GA: I Will Send You A Copy Our First Conversation Directly From My Chat Log
-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] sent tentacleTherapist [TT] the file "ConversationWithAVeryStupidGirl.Txt" --
TT: I guess being forced to cooperate with a stable time loop is the only plausible explanation for my remarks. GA: Yes And Then I Found It Sort Of Curious That During My Next Conversation With You Your Various Mental Endowments And Wherewithals Were Not As They Seemed GA: I Suspected The Stratagem Might Be A Counter Trolling Measure But Then Was Not So Sure And Further Examination Grew Warrant TT: And what if my counter-counter measure is to choose not to transcribe this dialogue accurately in the future-first place? GA: But See I Have Edited The Copy Already In Ways That Will Remain Secret For Now But You Will Discover Once You Type It GA: So You Are Destined To Edit It No Matter What And What You Submit Will Be What I Once Read Regardless GA: ! TT: Unless I decide to copy it word-for-word! GA: Yes Unless I Lied About Editing It In The First Place GA: Either Way Through Knowledge Of What You Will Say I Have Precisely Engineered The Nature Of Your Transgression GA: !!! TT: So your trolling strategy now is to put idiotic words in my mouth through the machinery of temporal inevitability, and cause me to excruciate over how to subvert the transcription? GA: Yes TT: While being perfectly up front about it? GA: Yes I Suppose Its That Sarcasm All The Time Seems Laborious To Me TT: I'll admit, it's a more advanced tactic than I gave you credit for. GA: Yes And The Providence Of This Antagonism Ninja Vice Grip Pinching Your Larynx Has Already Begun To Supply My Purpose With Fruit GA: The Chilly Frost Shimmering On Our Tree Of Human Friendship Has Begun To Thaw TT: Mixed metaphor aside, usually ninjas don't announce what they're doing when they're doing it. TT: Like when stalking an emperor to assassinate him. TT: Or befriend him. TT: But that's fine. TT: I guess the only pointless question we haven't exhausted is, why? TT: Why the convoluted artifice? GA: Dave Raised Insight Into The Human Psychology Of Friendship Development GA: By Allotting You Your Side Of The Conversation I Have You At The Disadvantage In Your View And You Will Seek To Reclaim Higher Ground GA: In Successive Conversations GA: 4=3 And 5=4 And Such GA: Your Demeanor Will Be Terse If Not Saturated With Disdain And It Will Cause Me To Be Confused And Question Your Motivation GA: But Now I Know Your Motivation Because I Am Supplying It Here And Now GA: They Will Be Simple Acts Of Friendly Human Retaliation TT: So you're not only rigging the first impression I make on you, but orchestrating my revenge for the rigging as well? GA: Yes GA: It Seems Friendship For Some Humans Is A Basic Aggregation Of Shallow And Insincere Hostilities TT: That's an interesting take on it. TT: But now I know for sure Dave isn't behind this plan. TT: It's too complicated. GA: I Dont Understand GA: Who Better To Coordinate Such Events Than The Knight Of Time TT: You're awfully quick to his defense. TT: Are you sure you don't have a thing for him? TT: It's ok, bro. You can admit it. GA: I'm Hopping To 8=8 GA: Ideally You Will Have Long Since Discarded This Train Of Thought TT: Ok. TT: I'm going to talk to my dead cat.
Here's another huge deal announcement. A "bomb shell", you could say. The zodiac has officially been extended to include 288 signs, instead of the meager assortment of 12 you are familiar with. The resulting system is known as the Extended Zodiac. You may determine your True Sign by taking a test, if you wish.
I envisioned an expansion like this a couple years ago, when it became clear that due to the large volume of NPCs in Hiveswap, many new troll symbols would have to be created. So we made a large library of symbols to draw from when designing characters (A lot more symbols than characters. Don't worry, the game roster isn't THAT out of control.) But why stop at just a static library of new signs when you could take the opportunity to reinvent astrology itself?
The test uses a couple other personal classifiers from Homestuck lore to triangulate your True Sign designation from this dizzying barrage of iconography. What do you do with this information? I don't know. Make some cool new OCs? Discuss your new sign with friends? Cause great agitation and bewilderment among astrological purists? The sky's the limit. Also, those invested in what qualifies as "canon" when it comes to Homestuck lore may take interest in this test, which formally evaluates whether you are a Prospit or Derse Dreamer (involving a new term of art for the sake of this system, called Lunar Sway), as well as your Aspect. I am sure some will wonder whether this means a God Tier Class test will be available as well. Some day, yes, probably. For now, only Aspect is applicable to this system. But the precedent now exists for the expectation to be CANONICALLY classified by literally any absurd profiling system I have ever concocted, and you have just obtained a full license to not let anyone forget this.
Here's a very special new book made by me, dril, and KC Green, which you can preorder here. This seemed like a good way to do it since we had no idea how many of these books to print. A hundred? A million? ZERO??? You guys will decide. Plus there's a lot of other cool stuff there. If you have any interest in this book at all, it's probably a good idea for you to jump on it now. There's no telling how easy it will be to get your hands on after the first run has shipped to backers.
About the friends who helped out: my guess is you are probably familiar with dril's twitter brand? A couple years ago we talked about working on this, one thing led to another, and now here we are asking you to buy a book with a spoon concealed inside of it. The way I see it is, you don't just get any clown off the street to write for characters with the complexity and emotional depth that these ones have. You bring out the big guns. This is a man who knows his way around a huge ass. A man who knows all too well the plight of the gamer. A man who won't hesitate to engage with some of your favorite brands, and will not flinch at a longform narrative about a pissed off guy searching the world for his spoon.
KC Green has already done some good work with the SBaHJ franchise, you may remember. For the sake of authenticity I did a lot of coloring work over his pencils and put some serious attention on generally screwing everything up. Don't worry, we had some very important standards of quality that I took great care to ensure we catastrophically failed to meet. KC does a lot of other great stuff too. Did you know he did the dog who says this is fine even though the room is on fire? It's crazy how much people love that damn dog. Not everyone knows he did it though, and people should applaud him more for his stuff. Same with dril. Let's hear it for these boys and their priceless contributions to our society. I hope you like this book!
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.
Hiveswap has been released. You should go play it!
Huge thanks to the entire What Pumpkin Games team for all their hard work on this project. Everyone involved has much to be proud of. Personally, I think the game is VERY GOOD! Really, better than I imagined it would be when scribbling notes for it years ago. Credit is owed to the fans for their patience while the necessary time was taken to build a studio capable of making a game like this. And above all, credit is owed to the great team that brought it to life. If you happen to spot any contributors out in the wild, on social media or such, I hope you will extend your appreciation for what they have accomplished.
What Pumpkin and Homestuck are partnering with Viz Media to work on a lot of cool stuff together in the future. This will include projects based on both the Homestuck and Hiveswap worlds. The possibilities are wide open, but here are a couple examples of things we know we're going to work on already...
Viz will begin releasing the Homestuck books again, starting next year. These will be nice new hardcover editions, and the plan is to just keep turning out volumes until the entire story is in print. Each volume will be full of my Secret Notes just like the previous ones were. Viz will also be involved in the release of the mysterious epilogue project I alluded to a while ago. Details on format, release date, etc, will remain undisclosed until further notice, but you can expect more information about that to surface next year too. I wanted to do something a little unusual for it, something existing outside the confines of the web story. Working with Viz struck me as good opportunity for this.
Aside from that, anything can happen. Take a look at the sorts of things Viz has already published or produced. These are all examples of things on the table for future consideration for either Homestuck or Hiveswap. I've got plenty of ideas, and so do they. Maybe you do too??