-- turntechGodhead [TG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] --
TG: dont talk to john anymore hes an impressionable doofus TG: your plan didnt work TG: i mean it did TG: but then suddenly it didnt TG: so you might as well quit trying GC: YOU SM3LL L1K3 OR4NG3 CR34MS1CL3S TG: what TG: youre aliens do you even have orange creamsicles GC: OF COURS3 WH4T K1ND OF 4WFUL C1V1L1Z4T1ON WOULDNT 1NV3NT OR4NG3 CR34MS1CL3S GC: NOT ON3 1D W4NT 4NYTH1NG TO DO W1TH TG: ok pretty far fetched but whatever TG: no more hijinks from you cause ill make sure they wont work GC: W3LL OBV1OUSLY 1 KN3W 1T W4SNT GO1NG TO WORK GC: MY FR13NDS H4V3 B33N T4LK1NG TO JOHN FROM TH3 FUTUR3 GC: YOUR FUTUR3 GC: WH3R3 H3S NOT D34D GC: SO TH3R3 W4S NO W4Y WH4T 1 D1D W4S GO1NG TO K1LL H1M GC: 1 JUST W4NT3D TO M3SS W1TH H1M 4ND STUFF TG: i dont think youre following TG: you DID kill him sort of TG: then i went back in time to stop him GC: Y34H 1 G3USS3D TH3R3 W4S 4 CH4NC3 SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T M1GHT H4PP3N TG: alright but TG: did you guess that by trolling john to his grave TG: and making me splinter us off into an alt timeline TG: that you were basically complicit in making our timeline go the way it was supposed to go all along TG: where future me is now helping dave and we just keep playing TG: and our actions ultimately lead to the trouble youre all in now TG: thus leading you all to troll us incompetently GC: OH GC: NO >:[ GC: 1 D1DNT TH1NK OF TH4T TG: yeah TG: see TG: none of you ever thinks anything through TG: whos in charge of timeline management there TG: i gotta give him the business GC: SH3 DO3SNT W4NT TO T4LK TO 4NY OF YOU GC: 4ND H4S M1SG1V1NGS 4BOUT TH1S WHOL3 TH1NG GC: NOT 4LL OF US 4R3 TH4T 3NTHUS1AST1C 4BOUT TROLL1NG YOU GUYS GC: 4ND TH3 ON3S WHO 4R3 SORT OF SUCK 4T 1T >:| TG: well at least you got john to off himself so i guess youre not totally incompetent like the others TG: like that awful rapper GC: SO JOHN 4CTU4LLY D1D WH4T 1 S41D? TG: yeah TG: im telling you TG: huge pushover TG: he will do what you say TG: unless it happens to be for his own good TG: then all a sudden hes a tough nut to crack go figure GC: NOW 1 F33L K1ND4 B4D GC: 4R3 YOU SUR3 1 C4NT T4LK TO H1M GC: 3V3N 1F 1TS JUST TO 4POLOG1Z3 GC: WOULD TH4T B3 OK W1TH YOU S1R BR4V3 KN1GHT >:? TG: yeah thats fine i guess TG: no more coy bullshit antics though TG: not even like TG: an idiotic angry winking emote GC: OR WH4T GC: YOUR3 GO1NG TO HUNT M3 DOWN THROUGH T1M3 OOOOOH OH NO GC: >;] TG: yeah GC: YOU DO R34L1Z3 1M W4Y H1GH3R ON MY 3CH3L4DD3R TH4N YOU GC: 3V3N 1F YOU 4R3 FROM TH3 FUTUR3 GC: 4R3 YOU SUR3 YOU W4NT TO G3T YOUR CLOCK3D CL34N3D BY 4 BL1ND CH1CK TG: ok even if thats true TG: i just merged with an impaled orange goddamn bird and now i got all these crazy powers GC: UGH GC: S3LF PROTOTYP1NG SO DUMB GC: TH1S 1S WHY YOU 4LL SCR3W UP SO B4D GC: 4LW4YS B3ND1NG TH3 RUL3S L1K3 TH4T GC: OH W3LL C4NT STOP YOU NOW SO M1GHT 4S W3LL DROP 1T GC: H3Y D4V3 TG: what GC: 1V3 B33N R3S34RCH1NG SOM3 OF YOUR 34RTH SO4P OP3R4S GC: 1S TH1S YOU TG: oh jegus fuck no TG: why would that breathtaking douche remind you of me at all GC: BUT H3 H4S 4 F13RY P3RSON4LITY GC: SORT OF BR4SH 4ND 1MP3TUOUS GC: 4ND 1N YOUR F4C3 GC: L1K3 F1R3 1TS3LF >:D TG: now i know youre bullshitting me TG: do i seem like the kind of guy whod accept a magic ring from whoopi goldberg TG: to awaken some egregious homofantasy for a ripped blue dudes mammoth eco friendly bulge TG: that guys an asshole and needs to be sealed in a dufflebag and whipped something ungodly with a bamboo chute GC: WHOS WHOOP1 GOLDB3RG TG: who cares GC: OK 1 M4D3 SOM3 MOD1F1C4T1ONS GC: TH1S 1S SO YOU D4V3 COM3 ON 4DM1T 1T TG: ahahahahaha TG: ok yeah that is pretty much fucking spot on TG: youre actually a pretty good troll TG: as long as you dont bug john i guess thats all there is to say on the matter GC: TH4NKS D4V3 GC: TO B3 F41R GC: 1M SUR3 3V3RY ON3 OF US W1SH3S W3 THOUGHT OF FUTUR3 S3LF PROTOTYP1NG F1RST GC: SO GC: YOUR3 NOT R34LLY 4LL TH4T T3RR1BL3 >;]
Here's another huge deal announcement. A "bomb shell", you could say. The zodiac has officially been extended to include 288 signs, instead of the meager assortment of 12 you are familiar with. The resulting system is known as the Extended Zodiac. You may determine your True Sign by taking a test, if you wish.
I envisioned an expansion like this a couple years ago, when it became clear that due to the large volume of NPCs in Hiveswap, many new troll symbols would have to be created. So we made a large library of symbols to draw from when designing characters (A lot more symbols than characters. Don't worry, the game roster isn't THAT out of control.) But why stop at just a static library of new signs when you could take the opportunity to reinvent astrology itself?
The test uses a couple other personal classifiers from Homestuck lore to triangulate your True Sign designation from this dizzying barrage of iconography. What do you do with this information? I don't know. Make some cool new OCs? Discuss your new sign with friends? Cause great agitation and bewilderment among astrological purists? The sky's the limit. Also, those invested in what qualifies as "canon" when it comes to Homestuck lore may take interest in this test, which formally evaluates whether you are a Prospit or Derse Dreamer (involving a new term of art for the sake of this system, called Lunar Sway), as well as your Aspect. I am sure some will wonder whether this means a God Tier Class test will be available as well. Some day, yes, probably. For now, only Aspect is applicable to this system. But the precedent now exists for the expectation to be CANONICALLY classified by literally any absurd profiling system I have ever concocted, and you have just obtained a full license to not let anyone forget this.
Here's a very special new book made by me, dril, and KC Green, which you can preorder here. This seemed like a good way to do it since we had no idea how many of these books to print. A hundred? A million? ZERO??? You guys will decide. Plus there's a lot of other cool stuff there. If you have any interest in this book at all, it's probably a good idea for you to jump on it now. There's no telling how easy it will be to get your hands on after the first run has shipped to backers.
About the friends who helped out: my guess is you are probably familiar with dril's twitter brand? A couple years ago we talked about working on this, one thing led to another, and now here we are asking you to buy a book with a spoon concealed inside of it. The way I see it is, you don't just get any clown off the street to write for characters with the complexity and emotional depth that these ones have. You bring out the big guns. This is a man who knows his way around a huge ass. A man who knows all too well the plight of the gamer. A man who won't hesitate to engage with some of your favorite brands, and will not flinch at a longform narrative about a pissed off guy searching the world for his spoon.
KC Green has already done some good work with the SBaHJ franchise, you may remember. For the sake of authenticity I did a lot of coloring work over his pencils and put some serious attention on generally screwing everything up. Don't worry, we had some very important standards of quality that I took great care to ensure we catastrophically failed to meet. KC does a lot of other great stuff too. Did you know he did the dog who says this is fine even though the room is on fire? It's crazy how much people love that damn dog. Not everyone knows he did it though, and people should applaud him more for his stuff. Same with dril. Let's hear it for these boys and their priceless contributions to our society. I hope you like this book!
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.
Hiveswap has been released. You should go play it!
Huge thanks to the entire What Pumpkin Games team for all their hard work on this project. Everyone involved has much to be proud of. Personally, I think the game is VERY GOOD! Really, better than I imagined it would be when scribbling notes for it years ago. Credit is owed to the fans for their patience while the necessary time was taken to build a studio capable of making a game like this. And above all, credit is owed to the great team that brought it to life. If you happen to spot any contributors out in the wild, on social media or such, I hope you will extend your appreciation for what they have accomplished.
What Pumpkin and Homestuck are partnering with Viz Media to work on a lot of cool stuff together in the future. This will include projects based on both the Homestuck and Hiveswap worlds. The possibilities are wide open, but here are a couple examples of things we know we're going to work on already...
Viz will begin releasing the Homestuck books again, starting next year. These will be nice new hardcover editions, and the plan is to just keep turning out volumes until the entire story is in print. Each volume will be full of my Secret Notes just like the previous ones were. Viz will also be involved in the release of the mysterious epilogue project I alluded to a while ago. Details on format, release date, etc, will remain undisclosed until further notice, but you can expect more information about that to surface next year too. I wanted to do something a little unusual for it, something existing outside the confines of the web story. Working with Viz struck me as good opportunity for this.
Aside from that, anything can happen. Take a look at the sorts of things Viz has already published or produced. These are all examples of things on the table for future consideration for either Homestuck or Hiveswap. I've got plenty of ideas, and so do they. Maybe you do too??