carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]
CG: HEY GUESS WHAT, BIG NEWS. CG: LIKE HOLY SHIT STOP THE PRESSES THIS IS A HUMONGOUS DEAL SORT OF NEWS. GC: BL44444RRRRR WH4T 1S 1T CG: YOU'RE NOT THE RED TEAM LEADER. CG: THAT'S ME. CG: I'M THE LEADER. CG: IT'S BEEN DECIDED. CG: ON AN OFFICIAL BASIS. GC: OK SO 1 GU3SS 1M SUPPOS3D TO M4K3 4 B1G ST1NK 4BOUT TH1S 4ND S4Y W4H W4H 1 W4NT TO B3 TH3 L34D3R >:[ >:[ >:[ CG: WHAT, NO. CG: I MEAN YOU CAN BUT IT WON'T DO ANY GOOD BECAUSE I'M THE LEADER AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO EVACUATE THROUGH YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE ON THE MATTER. GC: W3LL 1T M4Y SURPR1S3 YOU TO KNOW TH4T 1 DONT G1V3 4 CR4P WHO G3TS TO B3 L34D3R B3C4US3 UNL1K3 YOU 1 4CTU4LLY H4V3 4 FUCK1NG SM1DG3N OF M4TUR1TY 4ND S3LF R3SP3CT CG: THAT'S A LIE, YOU'RE MORE OF A MELODRAMA SPAZ QUEEN THAN ME AND YOU KNOW IT AND THIS STUFF YOUR SAYING IS A PRETEND STUNT. CG: YOU'RE LIKE A ROCKET PROPELLED SPAZ MAGGOT SPRINGLOADED UP THE ASS OF A PSYCHEDELIC FUCKING FREAKOUT WEASEL ON IDIOT DRUGS SO LETS NOT PLAY MAKEBELIEVE GAMES HERE. CG: LEADER. CG: ME. GC: UUUUUUUUHNG GC: K4RK4T 1 DONT C444R3 GC: YOU C4N B3 TH3 STUP1D L34D3R 1 JUST W4NT TO PL4Y TH1S G4M3 CG: OK, GREAT. CG: IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION I HAVE SELECTED YOU TO BE MY SECOND IN COMMAND. GC: R333334444LLY???? GC: SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON >;] <3 <3 <3 CG: FUCK YOU OFFER RESCINDED. GC: OK BUT S3R1OUSLY GC: 1 WOULD H4V3 SUGG3ST3D YOU B3 TH3 L34D3R BUT HON3STLY 1T COM3S W1TH S3R1OUS R3SPONS1B1L1T13S 4ND 1 W4SNT SUR3 1F YOU W3R3 UP TO 1T CG: HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT. CG: I'M AN INCREDIBLE LEADER WITH ALL KINDS OF PRIORITIZATION AND COMMAND SKILLS. CG: I'M GOING TO ROCK THE COCK OFF THIS WEATHERVANE AND THE BLUE TEAM WILL WISH THEY NEVER SLITHERED OUT OF THE MOTHER GRUB'S HEINOUS UNDULATING ASSHOLE. CG: SO JUST GIVE ME THE FULL BRIEFING, WHAT DO YOU KNOW. GC: OK TH3 TH1NG YOU N33D TO KNOW 1S TH3 L34D3R ST4RTS OUT BY RUNN1NG THE CL13NT 4PPL1C4T1ON GC: WH1L3 1 TH3 LOWLY S3COND OFF1C3R CONN3CTS TO YOU W1TH TH3 S3RV3R WH1L3 1 R3M41N G3N3R4LLY 1N 4W3 OF YOUR M4NLY GR4ND3UR GC: 4ND 1 S1T 4T MY COMPUT3R DO1NG M3N14L CHOR3S 1N SUPPORT OF YOUR H3RO1C 3SC4P4D3S WH1CH HON3STLY 1 DONT TH1NK YOUR3 R34DY FOR BUT WH4T3V3R CG: SEE THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. CG: THIS IS WHAT I WAS MADE FOR. CG: BEING IN CHARGE OF ADVENTURE, RUNNING AROUND AND STUFF, AND FUCKING SHIT UP LIKE A GODDAMN HERO WITH A RIPPERWASP IN HIS JOCK. CG: LET'S GET CRACKING HERE. CG: LAUNCH YOUR SERVER OR WHATEVER, I'LL INSTALL THE HERO PROGRAM. GC: TH3 CL13NT CG: YEAH. GC: OK 1F YOU 1NS1ST GC: F4R B3 1T FROM M3 TO STOP YOU FROM B31NG SO D4SH1NG 4ND COUR4G3OUS GC: 4ND TO B3 P3RF3CTLY HON3ST 4 L1TTL3 B1T H4NDSOM3 >:] CG: YES, EXACTLY. CG: NOW YOU ARE MAKING SENSE. CG: THIS IS THE KIND OF THING THAT SANE PEOPLE SAY. CG: KEEP AT IT, THERE'S HOPE FOR YOU YET. GC: OK 1LL TRY GC: 4NYTH1NG TO G3T YOU TO STOP B31NG SUCH 4 B4BY CG: WHAT'S A BABY. GC: OH GC: 1TS L1K3 4 MYTH1C4L L1TTL3 P1NK MONK3Y GC: SOM3TH1NG MY LUSUS DR34MS 4BOUT CG: I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T HAVE ONE. GC: 1 DONT GC: Y3T GC: 1M NOT 4LLOW3D TO CG: WHY NOT? CG: WHY HAVE YOU NEVER MENTIONED THIS ANYWAY? CG: HONESTLY TEREZI IT SOUNDS LIKE MORE FROTHING LOONEYBLOCK NONSENSE. GC: 1F 1 3V3R D1D H4V3 ON3 1T WOULD M34N TH3 WORLD W4S COM1NG TO 4N 3ND CG: OH THANK GOD YOU JUST SAID SOMETHING NORMAL, I WAS STARTING TO WORRY THERE. CG: WHEW BACK IN SANE LAND. GC: 1TS TRU3! >:P GC: 1 DONT COMPL3T3LY UND3RST4ND 1T BUT TH4TS WH4T 1T TOLD M3 CG: WE NEED TO GET YOU OUT OF THAT FUCKING TREE AND INTO A PROPER GODDAMN LAWNRING. CG: YOU'VE BEEN STUNTED LIVING UP THERE, BY THE WHISPERS OF FUCKING BARK GNOMES OR SOMETHING. CG: I THINK ONE OF MY NEIGHBORS WAS JUST CULLED RECENTLY, MAYBE YOU COULD LIVE THERE. GC: NO W4Y SCR3W L4WNR1NGS!!! GC: MOR3 L1K3 Y4WNR1NGS GC: 1 LOV3 MY TR33! GC: BUT YOUR3 W3LCOM3 TO V1S1T SOM3 T1M3 GC: 1TS 3SP3C14LLY N1C3 1N TH3 TH1RD 4UTUMN CG: OK WELL CG: SPEAKING OF THAT CG: I SHOULD GO DOWNSTAIRS AND DEAL WITH THIS GRUMPY CUSTOMER. CG: IT'S GOING TO FONDLE MAJOR SEEDFLAP, BUT HOPEFULLY IT'LL BE QUICK. CG: YOU CAN ESTABLISH YOUR CONNECTION AND DO YOUR TRIVIAL SIDEKICK STUFF I GUESS IN THE MEANTIME. GC: OK! >:D
I've been thinking this over for the last few weeks, and I've decided now is the best time to suspend all regular updates until I've finished the story, rather than pausing just before I start on the final animation. When I'm done, I'll post it all at once. There are a lot of reasons why I think this is the best strategy.
Primarily, it's about efficiency, and being able to work on the remaining (and likely the most difficult parts) of the story without distractions, or the added challenge of having to crank out the next serial update as fast as possible, which means I always have to stay totally linear with the work. This way I can produce the rest of it more comprehensively, prepare animation assets in advance, do more stuff in parallel, etc. It will go faster. And ultimately, I think it'll read better as one thing, rather than as a sequence tortuously spread out over time, as has been the norm for years. I think it's close enough to the end now to safely retire Homestuck as a serial reading experience. There's nothing to be gained from that presentation anymore, in my view. It's just time to bear down and get it done.
I guess we're breaking for a long time on a big cliffhanger, but there's no way around that. Actually, pausing at any point later would probably be even worse, as it keeps pushing into endgame territory. That's why I'm stopping now instead of later. With such a big readership, the reactions will only get crazier, and the demand for new updates will get more intense. Over time, knowing so many people are slamming refresh many times per day starts to be more of an omnipresent distraction than anything. I think there is sort of a perception that I am creatively feeding off the hysteria surrounding the comic, but on a very practical level this is not true. Creating entertainment is not really a lifestyle of madcap shenanigans. It is a very sober, often dull process that requires a huge amount of time and concentration. It will be better to disarm the hype machine while I get the hard stuff done.
So what is the itinerary? Need to finish A663 through A666, and then A7. Keep in mind that these sub acts can be literally any length, even onepage. There's a good bit of ground to cover, but most of the effort will be tied up in animation chores.
I don't really have a time estimate here, and am not sure there's any real advantage in coming up with one. It'll just be a while. I also have to allocate some time to work on the Kickstarter game. That didn't stop being a thing I have to do. It's coming along. I'll probably have a more substantive update on that before the end of the year. There hasn't been much to report yet since it's mostly been in a high level planning and writing phase. And firming up tons of legal minutiae. Stuff like that.
But I will say there is something new to watch out for next month. Kind of a secret project I'm involved with, unrelated to MSPA or the KS game. Well, it's technically not that secret. It's only secret if you don't know about it yet. Meditate on those profound words, and keep an eye out for news on this in coming weeks.
Oh yeah. Almost forgot, I'll have to take some time to port the site to a new server. Obviously it hasn't been cutting it the last couple months. So we'll work on that soon. Hopefully the new service will be able to handle the massive heart attack the next batch up updates will represent.
During the gigapause, there should still be plenty to see here in the news section. Whether it's about the aforementioned projects, or new product releases, there'll be a lot going on. Trust me, the coolest stuff at What Pumpkin this season has yet to be released.
Happy 4/13, a.k.a. 5 years of Homestuck being a thing! Since I know how much you like things, to celebrate I thought I would show you another thing that's been in the works for a while.
It's a new webcomic based on Homestuck, called Paradox Space! Have a look. That is all I will say about it here. But if you would like to know what the heck this ACTUALLY IS, here is a permalink to the news post where I talk about such matters.
2014 What Pumpkin Convention Schedule ... over there! ->
The What Pumpkin crew will be quite active on the con circuit this year. 11 cons by my count (for now). Take a look at the schedule, and make your plans accordingly!
What Pumpkin will be setting up a booth in all these cons where you can buy stuff and meet some friendly WP folk. I personally will only be attending two or three of these. I'm not sure which ones yet. I don't think I can lock myself into anything definite yet, since all that traveling is incredibly time consuming and tends to derail work. That's sort of what happened last year. I traveled way too much, and it really messed me up! So work schedule permitting, I'll probably pick a couple of these later and make some "surprise appearances". That way, if you happen to see me at a convention, you can be 100% certain that our encounter will be a result of PURE DESTINY.
It's almost over, right? Um, no, sorry. I still have no time estimate, or specific date I am shooting for. 4/13 would be the COOLEST date to shoot for, right? I doubt that's realistic though. Because in spite of my most religious wishes every single day, magic keeps on being fake. THANKS, "god".
What is the status, then? The status is this. Since pausing, basically all I have been doing is writing. No drawing or animation yet. Writing, writing, writing. Writing for Homestuck, and writing for the adventure game. More time has been allocated to the latter. The game is a big, big project. Let's not kid ourselves here. It's like this whole new major story and everything, fueled by millions of dollars. That's a very different situation from Homestuck, which is usually fueled by approximately zero dollars.
Homestuck probably needs another month of writing before I can start making panels. Not even to speak of Flash work. And of course, game development looms over everything as well. This feels totally different from the usual routine of write-draw-post, write-draw-post, write-draw-post, ad infinitum. Writing everything out beforehand is peculiar. And by peculiar I mean "totally conventional", in most other creative contexts. Let's see how that approach pans out. (You go out on a limb and guess it will result in the same silly bullshit as always.)
WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
Kickstarter - Speaking of the game, I sent out a backer update just before the newd year. The same update just went out to paypal backers too (it took a while to set up a system for that). If you backed the project but didn't notice an update, you might want to check your email. If you didn't back it, sorry these updates are <shhhh>secret</shhhh>. I mean, not really. The info gets "leaked" everywhere, if you know where to look. The point is, *I'M* technically not supposed to be the one tell you. Get it? Oh. You don't? Me neither.
One question I feel like I should answer out in the open even though I kinda thought it was obvious (there is no such thing as obvious) since I see it come up so much: yes, you will be able to purchase the game, even if you did not back the Kickstarter!
Contest - In the near future, I'm going to be putting out some neat things through We Love Fine. WLF is a cool company that makes a lot of nice stuff, that you will find particularly interesting if you are into "the fandoms". Do you like fandoms? When I was a kid we didn't even have those. All we had were shitty Atari games, and spankings.
But before they formally launch any Homestuck stuff, they're running a fun shirt design contest. There are sweet cash prizes. Hey, only participate if you think is sounds fun though. Most people won't win, because that's what a contest is, according to the way that common word is classically defined. I ain't out to waste anyone's time! I do hope plenty of people submit designs though. There's some nutty stuff rolling in. People will laugh at me if I pick the naked Gamzee shirt. DON'T MAKE ME PICK THE NAKED GAMZEE SHIRT!
Another Secret Project - Remember a while ago, I mysteriously mumbled something about a secret project? And then it came along, and it turned out to be Namco High? This is like that again. Except it's not a dating sim. Or a game, or anything like that. Also, it doesn't involve video game characters you've never heard of. It is a much more Homestuck-focused thing. That's all I'm gonna say! Ok, I lied, I will say one more thing: it's going to be really cool, and you will wonder where it has been all your life.
Vinyl Figures - These are up in the store now! For actual sale. Hehe... look at em!
Homestuck book 3 and Problem Sleuth book 5 are here! The Homestuck book contains Act 3. The Problem Sleuth book is the final volume of the series.
(The cover of PS5 glows in the dark by the way.)
And now that the Problem Sleuth series is wrapped up, you can get the full set. Dedicating this much paper to three cartoon detectives trying to leave an office should be illegal. But it isn't, and we are exploiting that fact to our advantage here.