John: Pester someone's server player's server player.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
EB: hey dave! TG: hey EB: wow, it's been a while since we talked, hasn't it. TG: has it EB: i think the last time i talked to you, i was doing exactly what im doing now... EB: which is blasting off from my house. EB: or was it? EB: wow, i can't remember... TG: man who cares TG: i mean thats great and all TG: but i talked to you plenty more times since that from where im standing TG: ive got to make this quick EB: oh. EB: you mean like the trolls? EB: are you using the troll time chat gizmo? TG: fuck no fuck that trollian horseshit TG: its just regular old time travel TG: im from the future EB: oh ok. is this dave sprite? TG: no TG: just regular ordinary dave from the fucking future nothing special dude come on EB: well, excuse me, but i still think time travel sounds kind of special. EB: sorry you are so jaded by awesome shit! TG: yeah ok it is awesome but im in a hurry EB: what is it? TG: i need to borrow some boondollars off you EB: boondollars? i thought they didn't do anything. TG: no they do do something EB: what do they do? TG: what do you think they buy shit its fucking money EB: what do they buy? TG: i cant answer all these questions dude youll find out anyway its not like youll even really need your money TG: you you might as well give it to me EB: uh... EB: how much do you need? TG: all of it EB: oh, fuck that!!! TG: man you just said you thought it was useless why do you care EB: but you just said it wasn't useless! TG: ill pay you back EB: really? when? TG: in the future TG: if theres one thing im not short on its the fuckin future EB: how far in the future are you from? EB: i thought we only had something like 24 hours until, like... EB: game over. TG: yeah we do TG: but chronologically ive been around for at least triple that EB: wow. how... EB: i don't get how that works! TG: no shit your deal is wind not time TG: youre on easy street what is there even to think about with wind TG: like what angle to blow it at to fly a damn kite or how gentle its gotta be to make a picnic go swimmingly TG: its kiddie bullshit time is serious fucking business TG: leave it to the pros ok EB: but, doesn't going back in time make an alternate reality? EB: i thought that's what happened with dave sprite, he came back to make sure i didn't die and this is a new timeline now. TG: yeah it can work that way TG: or not TG: ive been very careful TG: this whole operation is strung together with stable time loops TG: no timeline offshoots cause thats when daves start dying and that isnt no good for nobody EB: daves, plural? TG: yeah TG: there are a bunch of daves running around the timeline EB: oh, man. TG: but they are all me TG: i mean they will all become me and ill become them one way or another TG: thats how stable time loops work shit takes a lot of planning and precise choreography TG: ive got some help though EB: help? EB: sounds like you have been talkin' to some trolls! TG: yeah EB: they seem to be getting more talkative lately. TG: man dont even get me started with that TG: the 24 hour span of the reckoning is like some kind of critical spike in us dealing with troll bullshit TG: i guess its just when the most shit is going down so they figure thats the best time to mess with us EB: yeah, that makes sense. EB: i guess since you've lived three days in one day, you've just been hassled that much more? TG: i dont know man they seem to flock to me TG: ive been laying waste to chumps nonstop TG: its like they heard somebody over here was handing out asses and theyve known nothing but years of bitter ass famine EB: heheh. EB: so what is the future like? EB: or uh, the 3x future... EB: do we win??? TG: oh you know TG: noirs outta control TG: rose is crazy jades crazier and youre TG: well youre you TG: and together were up to our bulges and miscellaneous bullshit alien physiology in hot sloppy shenanigans while hatching plans under our feathery asses like a bunch of cage free farm fresh motherfuckers TG: but im not about to get into specifics cause this is complicated enough as it is TG: and if i started ranting too much about the future id start sounding like one of these smug alternian shitheads and im not about to drop that retarded science on my good bro TG: so im staying on track here TG: speaking of which TG: give me your money EB: but... EB: i worked hard saving up that money! EB: i have a whole boonbuck now. TG: oh christ TG: only one TG: well fuck nevermind then TG: i thought youd have more by now but thats goddamn peanuts EB: :( TG: i mean TG: ill take it anyway but damn EB: tell me what you want with it! TG: im working the system here TG: using time loops to manipulate the incipispheres financial sector TG: making a goddamn killing in the lohacse EB: lohacse? TG: lohac stock exchange EB: um... EB: lohac? TG: my planet TG: land of heat and clockwork dude come on TG: you know like gears and lava and shit EB: oh, huh. EB: that sounds unpleasant. TG: wrong it kicks ass EB: your unpleasant face is what kicks ass! EB: or DOESN'T, more like. TG: egbert stfu and give me your goddamn boonbuck j3gus fuck TG: ill turn it into a boonmint in an hour and youll get it back ok EB: j3gus? EB: *narrows eyes suspiciously...* TG: no comment EB: i don't even know how to give it to you! EB: they are just more weird gaming abstractions, how do we do this? TG: you can wire it to my account TG: ill send you the app EB: i'm really pretty busy you know. i have to help jade! TG: i know TG: but this takes like two seconds EB: bluh... EB: fiiiiiiiine. TG: dude TG: dont do the vriska thing ok TG: shes messed up we talked about this TG: or will talk EB: who? TG: whatever TG: alright app incoming
-- turntechGodhead [TG] sent ectoBiologist [EB] the file "virtualporkhollow.exe" --
TG: gotta go later
Here's another huge deal announcement. A "bomb shell", you could say. The zodiac has officially been extended to include 288 signs, instead of the meager assortment of 12 you are familiar with. The resulting system is known as the Extended Zodiac. You may determine your True Sign by taking a test, if you wish.
I envisioned an expansion like this a couple years ago, when it became clear that due to the large volume of NPCs in Hiveswap, many new troll symbols would have to be created. So we made a large library of symbols to draw from when designing characters (A lot more symbols than characters. Don't worry, the game roster isn't THAT out of control.) But why stop at just a static library of new signs when you could take the opportunity to reinvent astrology itself?
The test uses a couple other personal classifiers from Homestuck lore to triangulate your True Sign designation from this dizzying barrage of iconography. What do you do with this information? I don't know. Make some cool new OCs? Discuss your new sign with friends? Cause great agitation and bewilderment among astrological purists? The sky's the limit. Also, those invested in what qualifies as "canon" when it comes to Homestuck lore may take interest in this test, which formally evaluates whether you are a Prospit or Derse Dreamer (involving a new term of art for the sake of this system, called Lunar Sway), as well as your Aspect. I am sure some will wonder whether this means a God Tier Class test will be available as well. Some day, yes, probably. For now, only Aspect is applicable to this system. But the precedent now exists for the expectation to be CANONICALLY classified by literally any absurd profiling system I have ever concocted, and you have just obtained a full license to not let anyone forget this.
Here's a very special new book made by me, dril, and KC Green, which you can preorder here. This seemed like a good way to do it since we had no idea how many of these books to print. A hundred? A million? ZERO??? You guys will decide. Plus there's a lot of other cool stuff there. If you have any interest in this book at all, it's probably a good idea for you to jump on it now. There's no telling how easy it will be to get your hands on after the first run has shipped to backers.
About the friends who helped out: my guess is you are probably familiar with dril's twitter brand? A couple years ago we talked about working on this, one thing led to another, and now here we are asking you to buy a book with a spoon concealed inside of it. The way I see it is, you don't just get any clown off the street to write for characters with the complexity and emotional depth that these ones have. You bring out the big guns. This is a man who knows his way around a huge ass. A man who knows all too well the plight of the gamer. A man who won't hesitate to engage with some of your favorite brands, and will not flinch at a longform narrative about a pissed off guy searching the world for his spoon.
KC Green has already done some good work with the SBaHJ franchise, you may remember. For the sake of authenticity I did a lot of coloring work over his pencils and put some serious attention on generally screwing everything up. Don't worry, we had some very important standards of quality that I took great care to ensure we catastrophically failed to meet. KC does a lot of other great stuff too. Did you know he did the dog who says this is fine even though the room is on fire? It's crazy how much people love that damn dog. Not everyone knows he did it though, and people should applaud him more for his stuff. Same with dril. Let's hear it for these boys and their priceless contributions to our society. I hope you like this book!
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.
Hiveswap has been released. You should go play it!
Huge thanks to the entire What Pumpkin Games team for all their hard work on this project. Everyone involved has much to be proud of. Personally, I think the game is VERY GOOD! Really, better than I imagined it would be when scribbling notes for it years ago. Credit is owed to the fans for their patience while the necessary time was taken to build a studio capable of making a game like this. And above all, credit is owed to the great team that brought it to life. If you happen to spot any contributors out in the wild, on social media or such, I hope you will extend your appreciation for what they have accomplished.
What Pumpkin and Homestuck are partnering with Viz Media to work on a lot of cool stuff together in the future. This will include projects based on both the Homestuck and Hiveswap worlds. The possibilities are wide open, but here are a couple examples of things we know we're going to work on already...
Viz will begin releasing the Homestuck books again, starting next year. These will be nice new hardcover editions, and the plan is to just keep turning out volumes until the entire story is in print. Each volume will be full of my Secret Notes just like the previous ones were. Viz will also be involved in the release of the mysterious epilogue project I alluded to a while ago. Details on format, release date, etc, will remain undisclosed until further notice, but you can expect more information about that to surface next year too. I wanted to do something a little unusual for it, something existing outside the confines of the web story. Working with Viz struck me as good opportunity for this.
Aside from that, anything can happen. Take a look at the sorts of things Viz has already published or produced. These are all examples of things on the table for future consideration for either Homestuck or Hiveswap. I've got plenty of ideas, and so do they. Maybe you do too??