-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]
GC: H3Y D4V3 GC: B1G N3WS TG: hey TG: have i made enough money yet GC: OF COURS3 YOU H4V3 GC: MOR3 TH4N W3 COULD 3V3R POSS1BLY F1GUR3 OUT WH4T TO DO W1TH GC: BUT TH4T 1S NOT TH3 B1G N3WS! >:] TG: ok GC: 1 M4D3 YOU 4NOTH3R COM1C TG: fuck TG: bout time TG: what took so long GC: 1 R3S3NT TH3 1MPL1C4T1ON D4V3 GC: TH4T 1 4M NOT WORK1NG T1R3L3SSLY ON YOUR B3H4LF 4S W3LL 4S ON B3H4LF OF TH3 F1N3 4RTS GC: JUST B3C4US3 YOU GO FOR HOURS W1THOUT H34R1NG FROM M3 GC: DO3SNT M34N 1 4M NOT SL4V1NG 4W4Y H3R3 4T M4K1NG YOU R1CH GC: F1N4NC14LLY 4ND 4RT1ST1C4LLY GC: 1TS JUST 1 DONT H4V3 TH3 LUXURY OF YOUR 3XP4ND3D T1M3FR4M3 GC: M1ST3R THR33 D4YS 1N ON3 >:[ TG: k cool lets see it GC: 1S TH3R3 4NYTH1NG TH4T 4 HUM4N COOLK1D C4NNOT DO??? GC: http://tinyurl.com/T34CHM3D4V3 GC: 1 DOUBT 1T! >8D TG: damn TG: thats incredible GC: TH3 PH3NOM3NON OF TH3 COOLK1D 1S 4 F4SC1N4T1NG ON3 D4V3 GC: 1 H4V3 STUD13D 1T GC: D1D YOU KNOW TH4T W3 DO NOT H4V3 COOLK1DS ON 4LT3RN14? TG: oh shit really TG: that loud sound of shock you just smelled was my jaw hitting the floor GC: 1TS TRU3 GC: SOM3 TRY TO B3 1 TH1NK, W1THOUT 3V3N B31NG 4W4R3 OF TH3 T3MPL4T3 TH3Y 4R3 STR1V1NG FOR GC: 1T 1S 4 S4D SP3CT4CL3 GC: BUT 1 TH1NK YOU 4R3 PROB4BLY TH3 COOL3ST COOLK1D D4V3 GC: 4LL TH3S3 OTH3R HORNS3S 4SS3S SURF1NG ON K3YBO4RDS 4ND PUTT1NG H4TS ON TURNW4YS 4R3 4 BUNCH OF STUT1D NUMPNUTS GC: TH3Y H4V3 NOTH1NG ON TH3 ON3 TRU3 STR1D3R TG: yeah i mean TG: i cant possibly argue with any of that TG: so are we done making money yet or what GC: OH 1 DONT KNOW GC: T3CHN1C4LLY W3 W3R3 4 LONG T1M3 4GO TG: yeah i kinda figured GC: BUT 1TS 4 FUN W4Y TO STR3TCH OUT TH3 T1M3 YOUV3 GOT L3FT, 1SNT 1T? GC: >:] TG: im not complaining TG: but you said there was something specific we were working toward here TG: i mean aside from buying up all the nastiest fraymotifs GC: Y3S BOTH 4R3 TRU3 GC: 4ND TH3R3 4R3 SOM3 YOU H4V3NT BOUGHT Y3T! GC: TH4T 1S 1MPORT4NT, W3 N33D TO K33P YOU COMP3T1T1V3 W1TH JOHN TG: competitive TG: man TG: dont matter what i do im not gonna outpace egbert GC: DONT S4Y TH4T! YOUV3 GOT TO B3L13V3 1N YOURS3LF D4V3 TG: hey its not like the futures a mystery or anything weve both seen it TG: well TG: ive seen it TG: youve just caught a whiff of it TG: like a hungry beggar loitering cross the street of an olive garden TG: just cause a filthy vagrants barred from entry dont mean a dude doesnt know italian foods nearby its a fucking fact to his nose GC: DO NOT D1STR4CT FROM TH3 1SSU3 W1TH YOUR S4SSY R3M4RKS 4BOUT 34RTH 1T4L14N FOOD GC: Y34H OK, JOHN M4Y S3RV3 YOU YOUR OWN BULG3 ON 4 S1LV3R TURN T4BL3 PR3 SCR4TCH GC: BUT WH4T 4BOUT 4FT3R TH4T? GC: W3 N33D YOU TO K33P P4C3 GC: 1T 1S TH3 CL4SS1C STRUGGL3, TH3 HUM4N 34RTH COOLK1D V3RSUS TH3 34RTH HUM4N N3RD GC: WHO W1LL W1N??????? >:O GC: (D4V3 D4V3 D4V3) TG: yeah fine TG: so whats the other thing we were accomplishing here TG: does that get to be not an obnoxious secret yet GC: Y3S, NOW 1S TH3 T1M3 GC: YOU MUST W1R3 YOUR BOONDOLL4RS TO MY 4CCOUNT TG: ok so this was your game TG: to get rich off me GC: Y3SSSSSSSSSSSS >8] GC: BUT S3R1OUSLY 1TS 1MPORT4NT! GC: 1T 1S CR1T1C4L TO 4LL OUR PL4NS TG: alright well its not like i even have a problem parting with this useless bullshit money TG: how much do you need GC: 413 BOONBONDS TG: thats all TG: i can afford to give you a fuckload more than that TG: how bout i give you an even boonbank GC: NO!!! GC: 1T MUST B3 3X4CTLY TH4T 4MOUNT TG: ok just to be clear TG: thats 413 TG: not "aie" GC: Y34H GC: J3RK >:P TG: whats up with that number TG: ive seen it around GC: TH3Y 4R3 TH3 NUM3R4LS OF TH3 BL1ND PROPH3TS TG: whats that mean GC: 1 DONT KNOW >:? TG: ok awesome GC: 4LSO GC: 4T TH3 3X4CT 3ND OF TH1S CONV3RS4T1ON GC: YOU MUST W1R3 TH3 MON3Y TO MY 4CCOUNT 3X4CTLY 6 HOURS 4ND 12 M1NUT3S 1NTO TH3 P4ST GC: MY P4ST! R3L4T1V3 TO MY PR3S3NT MOM3NT 4S OF TYP1NG TH1S TG: you mean i can do that TG: then TG: why werent we just wiring money into the past for these investment escapades instead of doing all this time traveling GC: B3C4US3! GC: TH4T W4SNT TH3 PL4N GC: W3 H4D TO PL4Y 4LONG W1TH TH3 ST4BL3 T1M3 LOOPS W3 W3R3 PR3S3NT3D W1TH GC: YOU KNOW, M4K3 SUR3 4LL THOS3 D4V3S RUNN1NG 4ROUND 3X1ST3D 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3 TG: oh yeah TG: i knew that its just frustrating sometimes its like paradox space makes you do everything the hard way GC: Y34H T3LL M3 4BOUT 1T GC: BUT H3Y 1TS B33N FUN PL4Y1NG 4LONG, H4SNT 1T? TG: sure GC: W3V3 GOT TO K33P B31NG D3L1C4T3 W1TH T1M3 GC: 1F YOU ST4RT B3ND1NG TH3 RUL3S 4ND T4K1NG SHORTCUTS GC: TH4TS WH3N D34D D4V3S ST4RT P1L1NG UP GC: D34D D4V3S 4R3 TH3 3N3MY! GC: 4S D3L1GHTFUL 4S 1T 1S TO SM3LL TH31R SW33T C4NDY BLOOD 3V3RYWH3R3 TG: yeah TG: reminds me TG: i made you a comic a while ago GC: YOU D1D??? TG: yeah here GC: >:o GC: D4V3... GC: TH1S COM1C 1S BORD3RL1N3 PORNOGR4PH1C GC: YOU 4R3 4 R34LLY FUCK3D UP K1D TG: yeah ok whatever you say TG: fuckin aliens GC: (1T 1S F4NT4ST1C, 1 LOV3 1T) TG: ok cool TG: hey boonbonds incoming now TG: brace yourself six hours ago
Here's another huge deal announcement. A "bomb shell", you could say. The zodiac has officially been extended to include 288 signs, instead of the meager assortment of 12 you are familiar with. The resulting system is known as the Extended Zodiac. You may determine your True Sign by taking a test, if you wish.
I envisioned an expansion like this a couple years ago, when it became clear that due to the large volume of NPCs in Hiveswap, many new troll symbols would have to be created. So we made a large library of symbols to draw from when designing characters (A lot more symbols than characters. Don't worry, the game roster isn't THAT out of control.) But why stop at just a static library of new signs when you could take the opportunity to reinvent astrology itself?
The test uses a couple other personal classifiers from Homestuck lore to triangulate your True Sign designation from this dizzying barrage of iconography. What do you do with this information? I don't know. Make some cool new OCs? Discuss your new sign with friends? Cause great agitation and bewilderment among astrological purists? The sky's the limit. Also, those invested in what qualifies as "canon" when it comes to Homestuck lore may take interest in this test, which formally evaluates whether you are a Prospit or Derse Dreamer (involving a new term of art for the sake of this system, called Lunar Sway), as well as your Aspect. I am sure some will wonder whether this means a God Tier Class test will be available as well. Some day, yes, probably. For now, only Aspect is applicable to this system. But the precedent now exists for the expectation to be CANONICALLY classified by literally any absurd profiling system I have ever concocted, and you have just obtained a full license to not let anyone forget this.
Here's a very special new book made by me, dril, and KC Green, which you can preorder here. This seemed like a good way to do it since we had no idea how many of these books to print. A hundred? A million? ZERO??? You guys will decide. Plus there's a lot of other cool stuff there. If you have any interest in this book at all, it's probably a good idea for you to jump on it now. There's no telling how easy it will be to get your hands on after the first run has shipped to backers.
About the friends who helped out: my guess is you are probably familiar with dril's twitter brand? A couple years ago we talked about working on this, one thing led to another, and now here we are asking you to buy a book with a spoon concealed inside of it. The way I see it is, you don't just get any clown off the street to write for characters with the complexity and emotional depth that these ones have. You bring out the big guns. This is a man who knows his way around a huge ass. A man who knows all too well the plight of the gamer. A man who won't hesitate to engage with some of your favorite brands, and will not flinch at a longform narrative about a pissed off guy searching the world for his spoon.
KC Green has already done some good work with the SBaHJ franchise, you may remember. For the sake of authenticity I did a lot of coloring work over his pencils and put some serious attention on generally screwing everything up. Don't worry, we had some very important standards of quality that I took great care to ensure we catastrophically failed to meet. KC does a lot of other great stuff too. Did you know he did the dog who says this is fine even though the room is on fire? It's crazy how much people love that damn dog. Not everyone knows he did it though, and people should applaud him more for his stuff. Same with dril. Let's hear it for these boys and their priceless contributions to our society. I hope you like this book!
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.
Hiveswap has been released. You should go play it!
Huge thanks to the entire What Pumpkin Games team for all their hard work on this project. Everyone involved has much to be proud of. Personally, I think the game is VERY GOOD! Really, better than I imagined it would be when scribbling notes for it years ago. Credit is owed to the fans for their patience while the necessary time was taken to build a studio capable of making a game like this. And above all, credit is owed to the great team that brought it to life. If you happen to spot any contributors out in the wild, on social media or such, I hope you will extend your appreciation for what they have accomplished.
What Pumpkin and Homestuck are partnering with Viz Media to work on a lot of cool stuff together in the future. This will include projects based on both the Homestuck and Hiveswap worlds. The possibilities are wide open, but here are a couple examples of things we know we're going to work on already...
Viz will begin releasing the Homestuck books again, starting next year. These will be nice new hardcover editions, and the plan is to just keep turning out volumes until the entire story is in print. Each volume will be full of my Secret Notes just like the previous ones were. Viz will also be involved in the release of the mysterious epilogue project I alluded to a while ago. Details on format, release date, etc, will remain undisclosed until further notice, but you can expect more information about that to surface next year too. I wanted to do something a little unusual for it, something existing outside the confines of the web story. Working with Viz struck me as good opportunity for this.
Aside from that, anything can happen. Take a look at the sorts of things Viz has already published or produced. These are all examples of things on the table for future consideration for either Homestuck or Hiveswap. I've got plenty of ideas, and so do they. Maybe you do too??