AG: I guess I have to admit I don't actually know that much a8out humans either!
AG: Other than that you are all pretty soft and mild mannered and seem to 8e friendlier, and think killing totally sucks.
AG: I really have no clue what it means to grow up as a human, though.
AG: 8ut I do know what it means grow up as a troll, and what's expected of us.
EB: what does it mean?
AG: When a troll comes of age, you 8etter 8elieve it means they're going to start killing.
AG: It's what we do as a race. We are very effective conquerors, and as such, we practically domin8 our galaxy. Or... used to.
AG: The ones that don't learn to 8e ruthless? They're 8etter off DEAD.
AG: And the reality is, it won't 8e long until they are. That's just life for us.
EB: that sounds terrible!
EB: i would like to be culturally sensitive, but i wish it didn't have to be like that for you.
EB: i have started to really like you guys!
AG: Well, thanks John. That's nice of you to say. 8ut let's face it, it doesn't fucking matter anymore, since our whole race was wiped out!
AG: May8e for the 8est, when you think a8out it.
AG: 8ut at least paradox space gave us some purpose 8efore wiping us out, right?
AG: At least we got the chance to cre8te you guys, and all those twinkly stars you used to look up at.
EB: yeah, that's true.
AG: So 8ecause we got that chance, it means we'll never actually get to come of age and enter troll society, and see if we got what it takes.
AG: 8ut that doesn't mean we stop growing up!
AG: I think the game knows it's always gonna 8e played 8y kids, and it always rigs it so they enter right around the cusp of sexual maturity, whatever the race is.
AG: Which kinda makes sense, since if they succeed, they've got their whole lives ahead of them to do whatever the hell they're going to do in their universe, like start repopul8ing and whatnot.
AG: That means the game also knows it's got to deal with all these damn kids who are coming of age while playing it!
AG: I really think how successfully they mature is tied to success in the game. It challenges the players in all the ways they need to 8e challenged to grow, which is different for every individual, and veeeeeeeery different for every race.
AG: I don't think we were so hot at that aspect of the game. In fact, I'm sure we were quite awful. Hell, even I wasn't that gr8 at it! I actually just kinda fell ass 8ackwards into the god tier, to 8e honest.
EB: hehe... yeah me too. :)
AG: 8ut what really gets me is this didn't even occur to me until just now, while I was sitting around thinking a8out it.
AG: It was so o8vious!
AG: That was why the game split us up into two teams.
AG: It knew as we came of age, we'd pro8a8ly start killing each other.
AG: So it just provided the stage. Red team vs. 8lue. It was so simple! All we had to do was what we were naturally inclined to. It might have worked out 8etter for us.
EB: i don't really see how you guys killing each other would help you play the game better!
AG: Yeah, you'd think that would 8e counter productive! 8ut then again, may8e not.
AG: If we really did take the team thing seriously, and started killing each other, may8e it would have meant more god tiers?
AG: May8e all of us would have made it????????
AG: Damn, can you imagine? We would have 8reezed through the game even faster, killed the king without a sweat. May8e claimed the reward 8efore Jack even showed up?
AG: Or if he did, may8e we could have 8eaten him then and there instead of scurrying off like cowards!!!!!!!!
AG: In retrospect we failed at this so spectacularly, I am amazed, and kind of ashamed.
AG: It turned out that the only one of us with the guts to kill someone was already DEAD! Hahahahahahahaha. And 8oy, did I have it coming.
AG: Yes, she was a ghost, and then 8ecame a ro8ot. Then she 8ecame a THOUSAND ro8ots. Then Jack killed them all 8ut one. Then she 8lew up.
AG: Oh, and she also had that exact 8izarre laptop you are using right now. How weird is that?
EB: your team is so crazy!
AG: Not crazy enough, apparently!
AG: Actually, this is pro8a8ly Karkat's fault.
AG: When it comes down to it, he was pro8a8ly too good a leader! He actually did manage to get the two teams to work together toward the same goal. It could have easily deterior8ed into a feud otherwise.
AG: He was just so loud and annoying and o8sessed with leadership. He wouldn't shut up! So it was just easier to go along with his plans.
EB: yeah, i can see how that could be true.
AG: He sure kept us working together, 8ut in the end I think we paid for it.
AG: It wasn't natural! Pretty fitting, really, since he's kind of a freak himself. He's not even on the hemospectrum, the weirdo.
AG: I really dou8t he would have handled it as a leader if the shit ever hit the whirling device.
AG: He likes to pretend he's all vicious and 8loodthirsty, 8ut I know he 8n't got that in him. I have a sense for these things.
AG: He'd 8e so pissed if he heard me say this, 8ut I think he'd cut it 8etter as a human than as a troll.
EB: you probably mean that as an insult, but i think it is a nice compliment!
EB: i won't tell him you said it, heheheh.