GG: rose please say something
GG: you are making me nervous...
TT: I should have gone looking for her.
TT: Why didn't I?
GG: because you were busy trying to make the best of this situation?
TT: John was too. But he went to look for his father.
TT: It would have been normal of me. I can't remember what I was trying to prove anymore.
GG: i dont think you should be so hard on yourself about it
GG: john was being john, and you were being you, which i guess meant taking our problems very seriously and putting all your attention on solving them!
GG: and anyway, you and your mom had a much trickier relationship than john and his dad didnt you?
GG: i mean, not that i am saying that means you were any less attached to her than him...
GG: argh, i dont know if im very good at consoling people. sorry rose i dont want to make you feel worse :(
TT: You're doing fine.
TT: For someone raised by a dog.
TT: Or really,
GG: whew, ok
GG: you know...
GG: now we have all lost guardians
GG: dave lost his, and i lost mine in a weird way... uuum even though that was pretty much definitely my fault :\
GG: and even the trolls all lost their monster guardians
GG: i think that maybe it is an inevitable part of a game that can be cruel sometimes
TT: For some reason, despite all the danger, I never thought she was in any trouble.
TT: I never believed she would actually die.
TT: I grew up with the feeling that something more significant had always been meant for her.
TT: That she was a heroine displaced in some way, resigned to the inglorious duty of raising me, and preparing me in her way.
TT: I didn't actually need the ectobiological verification that she was like a mother and a sister at the same time. I always understood that somehow.
TT: And I felt she had knowledge and ability beyond what she let on. It was always intimidating, but nonetheless a source of respect which was childishly begrudging on my part.
TT: I think she was just waiting for me to catch up with her.
TT: But now I can't.
GG: i am so sad
GG: rose i think you are being stronger about it than i am
TT: Probably because my emotions have now ceded to anger.
TT: This shouldn't have happened.
GG: i just hope you arent thinking of doing something rash
TT: I already was.
TT: I was going to go to sleep, fly to a sun bigger than our universe, drop a bomb in it, and kill myself.
TT: So if my course of action is to change on account of my mood, it can only become less impetuous, don't you think?
GG: errrr, i dont know?
TT: You never liked my plan very much anyway.
GG: but i was trusting that you had thought it through and it was our best hope
TT: I'm not sure if I did.
TT: Maybe it was a terrible plan.
TT: I made it without a full understanding of the nature of the Scratch.
GG: then what will you do?
TT: I could stop being so cowardly, for once.
TT: I could short circuit this endlessly expanding game of chess we're playing, just like Jack decided to do.
GG: what does that mean!
TT: Maybe I will go kill Jack myself.
TT: Right now.
GG: oh no no no no no!
GG: rose that is a much much worse plan!!!!!
GG: he would probably kill you!
TT: But the Scratch will wipe us out anyway, and reboot the conditions of our session.
TT: I suddenly don't feel much like sneaking through the back door of the Furthest Ring for retribution by distant super nova.
GG: i know what you mean, i was angry at jack and wanted to stop him too, but we have to think of a more sensible way to do it
TT: Whether my existing plan was sensible or not,
TT: I may have been allowing myself to be manipulated by an omniscient being regardless.
GG: what? who?
GG: aaaaaaa whaaaaat?????
TT: This is a private conversation.
TT: Private even to those who know it word for word already.
I will be here.
GG: rose who is this!
TT: Ignore him.
GG: i dont even know whats going on anymore
You were discussing Ms. Lalonde's intrepid new variation on suicide.
As one with a passion for the subject, I'm intrigued.
TT: Anyway, if it's true the gods have "selected" me for service, maybe the power they've given me will be sufficient.
TT: Maybe they wanted me to kill him all along.
GG: please dont rose, i know you are angry but you arent thinking straight
TT: But I am.
TT: I'm fully aware I'll probably die and fail. Scratch happens, we start fresh. No recollection, no problem.
GG: nooo :(
Jade, as an ambassador of Skaia, maybe you'd be willing to talk some sense into your friend?
You should understand she's been corrupted by various entities with some rather questionable motives.
GG: rose, maybe white text guy is right?
GG: the dark gods gave you all these powers, and seem to be helping us with dream bubbles and stuff...
GG: but what if they are not actually good?
TT: They are enormous, ugly, and live in darkness.
TT: That doesn't necessarily make them bad.
GG: but i still dont trust them!
If only there were a way to make this determination with certainty.
Through a reliable source within reach, for instance, at this exact moment. Perhaps one that is spherical, and devastatingly handsome.
GG: whats this weirdo talking about!
TT: The cue ball.
GG: oh yeah
GG: i noticed you found it!
GG: i was worried it had been destroyed when my room blew up
GG: is he saying you can use it?
TT: Yes. And he is right.
GG: does it work???
TT: It advised me to talk to you just now.
TT: So I guess so.
GG: then maybe you should try it!
Yes, Rose. Listen to Jade.
She is far less manipulative than I.
TT: What are you suggesting I ask it?
GG: since we dont know much about the gods...
GG: why dont you ask it about them?
TT: So, you're saying I should ask it if the gods are evil?
GG: i guess that is a way to put it
Even though at this point neither of you is highlighting my text to read it, this idea gets my vote.