gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]
GC: STR1111111D3R TG: oh my fucking god GC: WH4T >:? TG: what do you mean what TG: we just got done talking and agreed it would be awesome if you didnt bother me for a while TG: you know like while i guess i grieved over this brutally murdered rad family member or something GC: OH GC: TH4TS R1GHT GC: 1 FORGOT! TG: it was five seconds ago GC: 1 TH1NK TH4T W4S HOURS 4GO FOR M3 GC: 1 4M 4 L1TTL3 FOGGY ON 4LL OUR CHRONOLOG1ST1C4L SH3N4N1G4NS 4T TH1S PO1NT... GC: TH3R3 H4S B33N SO MUCH CR4ZY STUFF GO1NG ON H3R3 1 H4V3 LOST TR4CK! TG: so youre officially going nonlinear with me then TG: were just forfeiting all rhyme or reason to this unmitigated clusterfuck is that it GC: D4V3, YOUR 3NT1R3 3X1ST3NC3 1S NONL1N34R GC: DONT B3 SO M3LODR4M4T1C TG: whoops ok in the future ill try not to pitch any sort of dramatics while brooding over the cadavers of slaughtered loved ones GC: D1D YOU LOV3 H1M D4V3? TG: no GC: BUT H3 W4S YOUR STR4NG3 HUM4N M4N-LUSUS GC: WHO T4UGHT YOU TO L1K3 COOL TH1NGS, L1K3 SWORDS 4ND PUPP3TS 4ND MOV1NG R34LLY F4ST! GC: HOW COULD YOU NOT??? TG: puppets arent cool theyre shitty small fake people who haunt your dreams and grin like permanent assholes TG: i was making a joke about being all broken up about it TG: a guy can be sad and make jokes at the same time GC: YOU 4R3 S4D, BUT NOT BROK3N UP 4BOUT 1T? GC: 1 DONT UND3RST4ND TG: exactly GC: BUT YOU S41D YOU W3R3 GR13V1NG! TG: i said we agreed youd leave me alone to grieve TG: didnt say whether i actually would or actually am GC: W3LL, 4R3 YOU? TG: i am grieving to the max like a widow on dead husband island TG: behind these chill as fuck shades my face is having this crazy attack of the sads TG: my rue is fucking bananas cant you tell GC: 4RGH NO, 1 C4NT! GC: YOU DONT SOUND S1NC3R3, BUT 1TS SO H4RD TO T3LL WH4T L4Y3R OF 1RONY R3MOV3D FROM R34L1TY YOUR FL1PP4NT R3M4RKS 4R3 SUPPOS3D TO B3 GC: 1 4M B3TT1NG YOU R34LLY 4R3 S4D NO M4TT3R HOW H1L4R1OUS 4ND 4LOOF YOU TH1NK YOUR3 B31NG TG: the truth is a mystery TG: tucked behind the pursed lips of a shitty riddler TG: they will be loosened only when presented with the conundrous grandeur of rigid insoluble puzzlecock GC: BLUH TH4T M4K3S NO S3NS3! TG: im sorry you are so flustered by the mere mention of glittering mythical cryptodick it honestly makes me think youre not ready for the truth GC: D4V3 YOUR P3RPL3X1NG 3UPH3M1SMS 1NVOLV1NG WH4T 1 PR3SUM3 TO B3 L3WD 4ND V4GU3LY 1NTR1GU1NG PORT1ONS OF HUM4N 4N4TOMY 1 TH1NK 4R3 NOT 4S H1L4R1OUS 4S YOU PROB4BLY B3L13V3 GC: 4ND 1N 4NY C4S3 YOU M4Y B3 4M4Z3D TO L34RN 1 4M NOT TOT4LLY 1N TH3 MOOD FOR YOUR DUMB SM4RT4SSY HORNSWOGGL3RY! GC: 1 H4V3 LOTS OF MY OWN PROBL3MS H3R3, 4ND TH3Y 4R3 B1G, B1G PROBL3MS GC: SO WHY DONT YOU JUST T3LL M3 WH4T YOU 4R3 TH1NK1NG FOR ONC3? TG: its pretty simple TG: im just thinkin about how im gonna take this sword GC: Y34H... GC: 1 N3V3R R34LLY GOT WHY YOU WOULDNT JUST PULL 1T OUT TG: filthiest thing you ever said GC: HUH >:? TG: forget it TG: pulling swords out of things isnt how i roll TG: im not john remember GC: 1 4M NOT FOLLOW1NG TG: im not a hero TG: my bro was TG: john is TG: im not GC: Y3S YOU 4R3! TG: no GC: Y3S, W3 4LL 4R3 GC: 1 4M TH3 H3RO OF M1ND GC: YOU 4R3 TH3 H3RO OF T1M3 GC: TH4T 1S WHO W3 W3R3 CR34T3D TO B3 TG: fine its a title we inherit as phlegm babies or whatever but what have i done to earn it TG: pretty much nothing but horsing around through time and swindling retarded alligators out of their life savings TG: if that swords coming out of his chest its coming out clean TG: taking it vertically means drawing more blood TG: but horizontally means a clean break TG: check it GC: NO, DONT >:[
Here's another huge deal announcement. A "bomb shell", you could say. The zodiac has officially been extended to include 288 signs, instead of the meager assortment of 12 you are familiar with. The resulting system is known as the Extended Zodiac. You may determine your True Sign by taking a test, if you wish.
I envisioned an expansion like this a couple years ago, when it became clear that due to the large volume of NPCs in Hiveswap, many new troll symbols would have to be created. So we made a large library of symbols to draw from when designing characters (A lot more symbols than characters. Don't worry, the game roster isn't THAT out of control.) But why stop at just a static library of new signs when you could take the opportunity to reinvent astrology itself?
The test uses a couple other personal classifiers from Homestuck lore to triangulate your True Sign designation from this dizzying barrage of iconography. What do you do with this information? I don't know. Make some cool new OCs? Discuss your new sign with friends? Cause great agitation and bewilderment among astrological purists? The sky's the limit. Also, those invested in what qualifies as "canon" when it comes to Homestuck lore may take interest in this test, which formally evaluates whether you are a Prospit or Derse Dreamer (involving a new term of art for the sake of this system, called Lunar Sway), as well as your Aspect. I am sure some will wonder whether this means a God Tier Class test will be available as well. Some day, yes, probably. For now, only Aspect is applicable to this system. But the precedent now exists for the expectation to be CANONICALLY classified by literally any absurd profiling system I have ever concocted, and you have just obtained a full license to not let anyone forget this.
Here's a very special new book made by me, dril, and KC Green, which you can preorder here. This seemed like a good way to do it since we had no idea how many of these books to print. A hundred? A million? ZERO??? You guys will decide. Plus there's a lot of other cool stuff there. If you have any interest in this book at all, it's probably a good idea for you to jump on it now. There's no telling how easy it will be to get your hands on after the first run has shipped to backers.
About the friends who helped out: my guess is you are probably familiar with dril's twitter brand? A couple years ago we talked about working on this, one thing led to another, and now here we are asking you to buy a book with a spoon concealed inside of it. The way I see it is, you don't just get any clown off the street to write for characters with the complexity and emotional depth that these ones have. You bring out the big guns. This is a man who knows his way around a huge ass. A man who knows all too well the plight of the gamer. A man who won't hesitate to engage with some of your favorite brands, and will not flinch at a longform narrative about a pissed off guy searching the world for his spoon.
KC Green has already done some good work with the SBaHJ franchise, you may remember. For the sake of authenticity I did a lot of coloring work over his pencils and put some serious attention on generally screwing everything up. Don't worry, we had some very important standards of quality that I took great care to ensure we catastrophically failed to meet. KC does a lot of other great stuff too. Did you know he did the dog who says this is fine even though the room is on fire? It's crazy how much people love that damn dog. Not everyone knows he did it though, and people should applaud him more for his stuff. Same with dril. Let's hear it for these boys and their priceless contributions to our society. I hope you like this book!
Hey check it out. Every week we'll be revealing some new troll characters from Hiveswap until Act 2 is out. Follow the Troll Call here, and meet the first two here. Expect a few more surprises like this to drop in coming weeks.
Hiveswap has been released. You should go play it!
Huge thanks to the entire What Pumpkin Games team for all their hard work on this project. Everyone involved has much to be proud of. Personally, I think the game is VERY GOOD! Really, better than I imagined it would be when scribbling notes for it years ago. Credit is owed to the fans for their patience while the necessary time was taken to build a studio capable of making a game like this. And above all, credit is owed to the great team that brought it to life. If you happen to spot any contributors out in the wild, on social media or such, I hope you will extend your appreciation for what they have accomplished.
What Pumpkin and Homestuck are partnering with Viz Media to work on a lot of cool stuff together in the future. This will include projects based on both the Homestuck and Hiveswap worlds. The possibilities are wide open, but here are a couple examples of things we know we're going to work on already...
Viz will begin releasing the Homestuck books again, starting next year. These will be nice new hardcover editions, and the plan is to just keep turning out volumes until the entire story is in print. Each volume will be full of my Secret Notes just like the previous ones were. Viz will also be involved in the release of the mysterious epilogue project I alluded to a while ago. Details on format, release date, etc, will remain undisclosed until further notice, but you can expect more information about that to surface next year too. I wanted to do something a little unusual for it, something existing outside the confines of the web story. Working with Viz struck me as good opportunity for this.
Aside from that, anything can happen. Take a look at the sorts of things Viz has already published or produced. These are all examples of things on the table for future consideration for either Homestuck or Hiveswap. I've got plenty of ideas, and so do they. Maybe you do too??