TT: Oh cool. It worked. GT: Hehe. You nerd. GT: Hes got your slick japanese spectacles and everything. GT: Why is this a metal man before me or is it none other than dirk strider himself in my room?? TT: One thing at a time, bro. I haven't quite figured out a way to get myself there yet. GT: It almost sounds like this is something youve given some thought... TT: Ok well I don't know what you're implying there but why don't you snap that sucker on the torso and fire it up. GT: Affirmative. GT: I continue to boggle vacantly at your technical shenanigans. GT: Your knack for gadgetry seems to surpass even my grandmas and she was like this big time gizmo legend. GT: How do you even do this stuff? TT: I guess from your perspective I must seem hells of "overpowered" in a bunch of ways. TT: Which I kind of am, like with a ninja sword I'm basically nuts, ok? GT: If you say so buddy. I can believe it. TT: Yeah, but when it comes to building stuff you're probably overstating things. TT: Like for example, if you told someone a hundred years ago you could build a computer they'd probably be like whoa shit, look at this fuckin' genius. TT: Well actually first of all they'd say, what's a computer, I only know what horses and diseases are and shit like that. TT: But once you actually tell them what computers are: Jesus dick! You're a wizard. TT: But from your perspective you know it's not a big deal to build a computer. You just go online and buy a case and a motherboard and some other shit and put it all together. TT: It's not like you're smelting the goddamn silicon in your basement and making chips in your hermetically sealed, dust-free garage. GT: Yeah but come on its not like youre from a century in the future. TT: Well. No. GT: Nor am i a quaint man of the past. Pardon me but do i SOUND like some trollycar bellwether toiling in the heart of the mustache belt from the ruff n tumble year of nineteen aught nine??? TT: ... TT: He said unironically. GT: Give me some credit man and some to yourself as well. You are too modest about all this robotics noise. TT: I don't know. I have a lot of time to work on stuff I guess. TT: There are a lot of irons. You know where they are? Here's a hint. It's a pretty hot place. GT: The kitchen? TT: Sure, I keep some irons there too. But most of them are in the fire. GT: Oh of course! GT: Fire is quite notoriously the hottest thing there is. A tip top locale for a whole mess of irons! TT: True that. TT: I actually have so much to do and think about, one of my current projects hopefully will address that very issue. TT: Gonna make an AI replica of my own mind. He can share some of the load. As well as make a decent intellectual sparring partner, ideally. TT: Not that my conversations with you aren't uniquely rad. But you know what I mean. GT: See again i think you are downplaying a pretty neat accomplishment if you ask me. TT: Shrug. We'll see. GT: Does that mean I'll have to deal with two dirks? GT: One who is MORE MACHINE THAN MAN... GT: And another who is a computer program you made hahahahahahaha. TT: That's a super joke. TT: But I'm guessing you won't be hearing much from the program. It probably won't play a significant role in either of our lives. TT: I have my doubts it'll be a successful project, but who knows. GT: Id wager a tidy sum the results of the endeavor will be sensational. GT: I believe in you! TT: You do? GT: Sure bro. I always have. GT: You have helped me out a lot and been a good friend for ages. TT: Hmm. GT: What? TT: Well, I wasn't sure about doing this today, but if it's true that you do believe in me, then I guess fuck it, why not. GT: Why not what? TT: I guess call it an extra birthday present. But instead of a present that's awesome, consider it more like a weird confession that may change the way you feel about me. GT: Whoa uh... GT: Dirk are you... uh... GT: Saying what i think? TT: What? TT: What do you think I'm saying here? GT: Uh never mind sorry for interrupting. GT: Should i sit down for this i dont know what to do. GT: Wait i already am sitting down. Maybe i should stand up? TT: No, just chill out. Stand up, sit down, whatever. Here's the thing. TT: You know all these painfully obvious hints I've been dropping? That always seem to be flying over your head? GT: Ummmmmmmm. GT: Maybe? GT: I think i need a towel or something. TT: About me being from the future. GT: Oh! GT: Oh. Yes. GT: I think so. TT: Well those weren't jokes. It's true. GT: What? Oh man are you actually serious?? TT: Yes. GT: So like... GT: You ARE from a century in the future. TT: No. More like four centuries. TT: The year 2422. TT: Or as we say contemporarily, 411 P.C. TT: Post Condescension. GT: WOW. GT: I must say this is not the announcement i was expecting. GT: So you are a time traveler from 2422 here to help me build robots or something? TT: No, I can't time travel. I can only send things through time, occasionally. TT: I actually live here in the future, alone in my apartment. I can send messages to you in the past though, like I'm doing now. GT: How? TT: Years ago our alien friend sent me a special chat client. It's basically just Pesterchum, with some sort of alien technology embedded. TT: It's specifically wired to communicate with your time period. As hours go by for me, the time it sends messages to also increments by the same amount, so we communicate in lockstep. As if we both existed in the present. TT: She said it was important for Roxy and I to begin communicating with you and Jane. This is how we all became friends. GT: Wait... you and roxy? TT: Yes. She lives in the future too. Though we live nowhere near each other. TT: I asked her to refrain from telling either of you. I wanted to be the one to let you know. To wait for the right moment. GT: Holy fucking mackerel. This is amazing! TT: So, TT: You really are trusting me about this? Just like that? No second thought? GT: Well yeah. Sure man why not? Wait its not a prank is it?! TT: No. TT: This would be a very shitty and boring "prank." I promise it isn't. GT: Then heck yes i believe it to friggin pieces. Its an awesome thing to be true! TT: Haha. GT: So whats the far flung future like? Some sort of crazy robo paradise? TT: Not quite, but there are definitely robots. GT: Oh man what are your movies like in the future?? I bet there are some real cinematic humdingers. Like holographic stuff? Or shit you plug directly into your brain pod right? Wait you do have brain pods right? TT: No. We don't have brain pods because those aren't a thing, you just made that up. And there are no movies in the future. TT: There are no humans either. They all went extinct. TT: Roxy and I are the only ones left, as far as we know. GT: Well shit. GT: Dirk this story got so much less awesome. GT: Is it too late to backpedal on believing it before i start to cry? TT: No dude, it's too late. Tears ahoy, this motherfucker gets sad. TT: Do you want to know what happened? GT: Sure do. GT: Lemme just finish putting this steel melon on my brobot and then im all ears...
I've been thinking this over for the last few weeks, and I've decided now is the best time to suspend all regular updates until I've finished the story, rather than pausing just before I start on the final animation. When I'm done, I'll post it all at once. There are a lot of reasons why I think this is the best strategy.
Primarily, it's about efficiency, and being able to work on the remaining (and likely the most difficult parts) of the story without distractions, or the added challenge of having to crank out the next serial update as fast as possible, which means I always have to stay totally linear with the work. This way I can produce the rest of it more comprehensively, prepare animation assets in advance, do more stuff in parallel, etc. It will go faster. And ultimately, I think it'll read better as one thing, rather than as a sequence tortuously spread out over time, as has been the norm for years. I think it's close enough to the end now to safely retire Homestuck as a serial reading experience. There's nothing to be gained from that presentation anymore, in my view. It's just time to bear down and get it done.
I guess we're breaking for a long time on a big cliffhanger, but there's no way around that. Actually, pausing at any point later would probably be even worse, as it keeps pushing into endgame territory. That's why I'm stopping now instead of later. With such a big readership, the reactions will only get crazier, and the demand for new updates will get more intense. Over time, knowing so many people are slamming refresh many times per day starts to be more of an omnipresent distraction than anything. I think there is sort of a perception that I am creatively feeding off the hysteria surrounding the comic, but on a very practical level this is not true. Creating entertainment is not really a lifestyle of madcap shenanigans. It is a very sober, often dull process that requires a huge amount of time and concentration. It will be better to disarm the hype machine while I get the hard stuff done.
So what is the itinerary? Need to finish A663 through A666, and then A7. Keep in mind that these sub acts can be literally any length, even onepage. There's a good bit of ground to cover, but most of the effort will be tied up in animation chores.
I don't really have a time estimate here, and am not sure there's any real advantage in coming up with one. It'll just be a while. I also have to allocate some time to work on the Kickstarter game. That didn't stop being a thing I have to do. It's coming along. I'll probably have a more substantive update on that before the end of the year. There hasn't been much to report yet since it's mostly been in a high level planning and writing phase. And firming up tons of legal minutiae. Stuff like that.
But I will say there is something new to watch out for next month. Kind of a secret project I'm involved with, unrelated to MSPA or the KS game. Well, it's technically not that secret. It's only secret if you don't know about it yet. Meditate on those profound words, and keep an eye out for news on this in coming weeks.
Oh yeah. Almost forgot, I'll have to take some time to port the site to a new server. Obviously it hasn't been cutting it the last couple months. So we'll work on that soon. Hopefully the new service will be able to handle the massive heart attack the next batch up updates will represent.
During the gigapause, there should still be plenty to see here in the news section. Whether it's about the aforementioned projects, or new product releases, there'll be a lot going on. Trust me, the coolest stuff at What Pumpkin this season has yet to be released.
A brief update on Namco High: Looks like we are targeting December 17th for release. Be sure to tune in on that day for the most incredible simulated dating experience of your entire life.
Also if you click on that, and scroll down to the "Students" section, you will notice there are some Homestuck characters being revealed as secret additions to the cast. They are secret to everyone but you! And a lot of other people probably.
This is a dating sim I've been working on with Namco Bandai's ShiftyLook where you can guide the romantic fortunes of all your favorite classic video game charact... wait. What? You're confused? I can't imagine why. But ok, I'll start at the beginning.
A while ago, ShiftyLook, which is a Namco Bandai jam, asked me if I wanted to work on a project for them. It could be anything. I said that sounds cool. Except that I already had a lot to do, so maybe it wasn't realistic. But they said that's no problem. All I had to do was assemble an elite team of writers, artists, and programmers, and tell them what to do. If I pulled together a crack squad of loyal creatives, they would HAVE to do what I said, no matter how little sense it made. So I said that sounds good. I thought about it really hard, for three of the most intellectually excruciating seconds of my life. Then I said we should make a dating sim. I mean. Obviously.
They said, are you sure that's a good idea? I said, hey who do you think is in charge here? They said they were. I said, oh, right. But it didn't matter. In the confusion, my pitch had somehow been approved due to a clerical error in Japan. Then I shouted suckers and fell backwards out of the airplane.
While tumbling magnificently back to Earth, I pulled the vintage rolodex out of my horsehair fannypack, and began recruiting the best of the best. And so my team was convened. They were waiting for me below with the trampoline thing firefighters use. They watched as the Hussie stunt-mannequin gently descended, and then exploded with unexpected confetti. I then revealed that I had been waiting there with them for the last several hours, wearing a disguise, straddling my most famous horse. I introduced myself, and they graciously pretended they didn't know it was me all along. (I repeat. Best of the best.) I then clapped my hands and rubbed them together a lot and said, who's ready to make some NOISE in the dating sim genre? Who's ready to DO SOME DAMAGE? Nobody knew what to say to that, so I pressed on valiantly. I think I know what the people want, I said. What they WANT, is to be able to manipulate their favorite classic video game characters into a variety of lurid but safe-for-work romantic encounters. What they WANT, for instance, is to cajole a cute Katamari into some sort of kissing situation with the spaceship from Galaga. Are you ready to GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT? They erupted into applause and began chanting my name, and they haven't stopped since.
Namco High comes out probably some time next month.
Homestuck book 3 and Problem Sleuth book 5 are here! The Homestuck book contains Act 3. The Problem Sleuth book is the final volume of the series.
(The cover of PS5 glows in the dark by the way.)
And now that the Problem Sleuth series is wrapped up, you can get the full set. Dedicating this much paper to three cartoon detectives trying to leave an office should be illegal. But it isn't, and we are exploiting that fact to our advantage here.
We upgraded the whole What Pumpkin store. There's a bunch of new stuff to buy as well! Including these lovely shirts:
All these great designs were by Rennie Kingsley. Alpha kid designs by the same artist will be coming soon too.
There will be so many other cool things hitting WP this fall, I honestly couldn't list them all off the top of my head. Just keep refreshing the site constantly. Even in your sleep. Then you will be ok.