JOHN: i love nic cage. he is basically my hero, ok?
JOHN: but i'm kind of just realizing now that he is EMBARRASSINGLY BAD in this movie!
JOHN: he is just doing this corny parody of a southern guy who is down on his luck, and acts "charming" with his goofy accent and stuff.
JOHN: some things i used to think were so badass are just coming off as ridiculous now.
JOHN: can you believe that one time we were watching this movie, when he said "put the bunny back in the box" i actually high fived my dad?
JOHN: this time that line just made me roll my eyes.
JOHN: there's so much crappy dialogue!
JOHN: "cyrus, this is your barbecue, and it tastes good..." arrgh!
JADE: but he was trying to sound like a hardened criminal to win the trust of john malkovich!
JOHN: jade, please. it was a cheesy line, don't be so naive.
JADE: you spent your whole life worshiping this dumb movie and now youre calling ME naive????
JOHN: ok, i'm sorry. i guess in fairness to you, you have only just begun to climb the steep learning curve of this vexing and hypnotic film.
JOHN: but i am no longer bound by its spell, jade.
JADE: oh god
JADE: vexing and hypnotic??
JADE: its a movie full of explosions about a guy with a mullet
JADE: what is with you lately? you seem to be in such a crappy mood these days
JOHN: i am fine. this MOVIE is what's crappy these days.
JADE: oh bluh bluh
JADE: can we just finish the rest of the movie?