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[A6I4] ==>

SO MY GOAL IS. TO BURROW FUCK DEEP INTO THE CENTER OF EARTH.
UNLOCK HIS DOOR.
AND THEN DESTROY HIM.
Sort of.
You can fight him then and there if you want. But that won't do you much good. And not just because he'd probably kill you instantly.
You're better off listening to him.
WHY.
Because he will make you an offer.
By which I mean he will give you The Choice.
THE CHOICE TO DO WHAT.
I won't tell you that.
FUCK. NO.
YOU WERE ON SUCH A ROLL. OF NOT BEING SHITTY.
It's just a very important decision you will have to take into consideration once you hear it. Something unique to you and your journey.
Basically, if you accept his terms, your real adventure will begin. Your true planet will be unlocked, and a whole lot of other crazy shit will happen. It's best not to get bogged down in the details though.
The bottom line is, by accepting, you will begin the most difficult game session anyone has ever attempted.
WHAT.
THAT'S BULLSHIT.
WHY DO I GET SUCH A RAW DEAL.
Because you are being punished.
FOR WHAT.
For your hubris in embarking on a one player session.
That's against the rules.
WHAT RULES. WHERE ARE THESE RULES WRITTEN.
They aren't written anywhere. They're just the rules.
Are the rules you and your sister followed written anywhere?
NO.
You just knew what they were, and you followed them. There were consequences for breaking them.
SO THIS SHIT ASS SESSION. IS PUNISHING ME FOR. BEING TOO FULL OF MYSELF. AND KILLING MY SISTER??
Pretty much.
WHATEVER. I ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES. FOR DOING THOSE EXCELLENT THINGS.
JUST BRING IT ON.
I thought you'd feel that way.
SO WHAT'S SO TERRIBLE ABOUT THIS SESSION. ASIDE FROM THE FIRST STAGE BEING INSANELY BORING.
It's called a dead session.
SO.
So, there are three kinds of fucked up sessions, and yours is the worst.
There's a null session, which is pretty much a normal session that's doomed to failure.
Everything works correctly. The sprites are prototyped, the battlefield can evolve, the Forge is present, Skaia can gestate a new universe... theoretically.
But events conspire such that this never happens. Basically the players are doomed to fail.
Then there's a void session, which is the same as a null session, but without even having the potential for success.
Nothing is prototyped. The battlefield doesn't evolve. There's no Forge. It is completely inert.
It has no chance of bearing fruit, at least not without some sort of miraculous external intervention. Like a deus ex machina.
And then there's a dead session, which is a void session but worse. It's started by a single player. The kernelsprite collapses into a black hole, sucking the planet into it, and eventually the sun and entire solar system. There is no hope of creating a universe in such a session under any circumstance, not even with outside help. Victory and defeat in a dead session are dictated by totally different terms.
One way of looking at it is, if you're fortunate enough to even get your quest started, it will be like playing the game on the extreme difficulty setting.
Hope you're up for that!
OF COURSE I AM.
LET ME ASK YOU.
IF YOU WERE THE MOST DEADLY DENIZEN OF ALL.
WOULD YOU WANT TO MESS WITH...

> [A6I4] ==>


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Latest Pages:
1/19/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/16/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/14/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/12/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/9/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/7/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/5/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/2/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/31/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/29/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/26/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/24/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/22/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/19/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/17/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/15/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/12/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/10/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/8/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/5/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/3/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/1/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/28/14 - "[S][A6A6I4] ====>"
11/26/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/24/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/21/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/19/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/17/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/14/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/11/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/10/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/7/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/5/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/3/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 4"
11/1/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 4"
10/25/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 3"
10/25/14 - "[S] GAME OVER."
10/17/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 3"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"

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RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 19 January 2015 by Andrew

So what do we call this pause? I've been batting ideas around all day. We could go with the obvious choice, the MINIGIGAPAUSE. Or maybe, MEGAPAUSE 2: BACK IN THE MEGASADDLE. Or if that makes too much sense, we could always settle on the MICROTERAPAUSE. As you can see, there are so many incredibly intelligent and meaningful things we could call this pause. Deciding how to refer to the pause is an exercise that I will leave to the reader. Feel free to discuss the matter with friends. Or strangers. Anyone who will listen really. If they start to run away, I strongly recommend you chase them.

Why don't we say that A665 begins on 4/13. That's a fun number that we all can get excited about. I have a lot of catch-up work to do between now and then. Not the least of which is drawing the actual content to be posted. But also a lot of gamedev work. Game production is rolling pretty hot right now. Stuff is being churned out almost faster than I can keep track of. Did I mention? I accidentally started running a game studio a little while ago. Whoops, sorry about that. There are all these people being paid to make things happen, and I have to be like "Yeah, keep doing that stuff, everybody." It's getting pretty easy to lose track of how many people work for What Pumpkin. My last estimate was somewhere between 30 and 1000. The true figure is a very frisky moving target.

A6A6A5, a.k.a. Caliborn's Masterpiece, is actually done. It's probably better to hold off posting it until 4/13, when more content will soon follow aftewards. I am sure pausing on that note for months would mess with your head a lot more than the note we're already pausing on. I sometimes feel I have at least a modest responsibility to manage your sanity. It'll be tough sitting on this content though. Tougher than sitting on all of A664 for the better part of a year. I don't think it is out of line to describe it as the best material this website will ever exhibit. It will be all down hill from there, in every direction. Even up.

Speaking of sanity management, way back when, I was pretty on the fence about posting A664 spaced out over months like I did, vs. all at once. Doing the latter in hindsight probably would have been a fucked up thing to do to the internet though. The GAME OVER fallout alone was a bit much as it was. Including it in tandem with the rest of it? Not sure what to make of that. Let's review the CONTENT CRUSH that would have entailed. Bad Anime -> Game Over -> Sadstuck -> Lowas Quest -> 100 retconned panels of oil -> A bunch of other shit -> Punky Serket -> Fantroll Storytime -> 8 password pages -> The Kiss On Horse Mountain -> and finally -> The Punchline. You know, that's an awful lot of baloney to publish. I think the fell-swoop reaction to all that would have been quite a thing to behold, but also, perhaps an irresponsible thing to do to a hapless fanbase after a year in hibernation. I'm told that in 2015, young people are heavily susceptible to "the feels", and trifling with those forces could be injurious to their future development. Wait, did that just sound like something your grandpa would say? Mother fuck, where did I put my cane. Oh right, I snapped it in half from shaking it at the sky.

I may have been in the process of making a point there, but we're going to have to pick this up another time. The comic isn't going to pause itself!!!

Posted on 7 January 2015 by Andrew

CRITICAL HORSE ADJUSTMENT

Over the last couple months, I have been surreptitiously collapsing several update horses into single, bigger horses. This means A6A6I4 is going to end a little sooner than previously advertised. Same total page count, but finishing sooner. Please consult the important horse calendar below.



So what happens when A6A6I4 is done? I'm not quite sure yet. I'm still working on everything that comes after that. I've written it mostly, but haven't drawn anything yet. There will almost certainly be another pause, but I'm not sure how long it will be yet. I will let you know after 1/19.

Posted on 9 December 2014 by Andrew

Here is one last drop of cool stuff for you to buy before your chimneys are plundered by a mythical oaf.

A new one of these guys, who is red:


Charms!:


Cute stickers?? (yes):



Posted on 30 October 2014 by Andrew

Adventure Game Update

I am letting this one be viewable to the general public. (It will also be posted to the backer page of the Kickstarter.)



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