uu: SO WHEN I SAY YOU'RE UGLY. WHICH YOU FACTUALLY ARE. uu: I MEAN THAT FROM MY PERSPECTIVE. OF BEING NORMAL, AND NOT A SHITTY ALIEN. TO SAY THAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY ATTRACTIVE IN AN UNPLEASANT WAY. TO MY BRAIN. GG: Hrm. GG: Nope. That makes very little sense. uu: FUCK. TRY USING YOUR SUPPOSEDLY BETTER SMARTNESS THAN MINE. uu: AND THINK SOMEWHAT LATERALLY. ABOUT LIKE. FUCKING CULTURE. THAT ISN'T *YOURS*. uu: YOU DUMB BITCH. GG: Yes, I see it all too clearly now. You're really quite the charmer! uu: NO. COME ON. "DUMB BITCH" IS ANOTHER GREAT COMPLIMENT. uu: IN THE SAME VEIN AS THAT WHICH I JUST DESCRIBED. uu: IT'S A TERM OF "ENDEARMENKSKLJJF" I USE TO TALK ABOUT GIRLS. WHO IN MY VIEW HAVE MANAGED TO AVOID BEING. uu: UTTERLY BENEATH MY PERSONAL ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. THIS ISN'T COMPLICATED. GG: Uh huh. GG: So you're actually trying to claim that you find me attractive, from the alleged "bad means good" point of view of your hate-driven species? uu: DEFINITELY. uu: I'M NOT JOKING AROUND, CROCKER. uu: I'VE UNLOCKED A BUNCH OF YOUR SCREENS. AND SPENT A LOT OF TIME WATCHING YOU. uu: WHILE THINKING. JUST. uu: THE *DIIIIRTIEST* THOUGHTS. uu: HEE HEE. HAA. GG: Eww. GG: You pig. uu: THE OTHER FEMALE TOO. LET'S NOT FORGET YOUR SQUAD'S BACKUP BITCH. uu: HOW NASTY IS SHE?? JUST SO FOUL. AND THE THINGS YOU GET UP TO WITH ONE ANOTHER. OH MY. uu: NEED I EVEN CITE THE ALTERCATION WITH YOUR PUFFY SLUMBER LOAVES? GG: Excuse me?? uu: MY COMPLIMENTS IN PARTICULAR. ON YOUR COLORFUL UNDERGARMENTS. uu: WHILE BOUNCING UP AND DOWN ON THE SOFT HUMAN SARSWAPAGUS. GG: Oh, that's just great. GG: The ONE TIME we had a generic girly pillow fight, and it turns out some pervert was watching us. GG: I think I need a shower. GG: Assuming I can ever take one again in peace! uu: DON'T WORRY. YOU CAN'T. uu: BUT SERIOUSLY. JANE. CAN I CALL YOU JANE? BITCH, LISTEN. uu: YOU ARE ONE GRODY HARLOT. WHICH MEANS GOOD (BAD) THINGS TO ME, LET'S REMEMBER. uu: WHEN I UNLOCKED YOU. I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE I'VE CHANGED? OR MAYBE JUST YOU. SINCE YOU TURNED OLDER. BUT YOU'VE REALLY. uu: FILLED OUT. uu: SINCE I LAST SAW YOU BEFORE. GG: What? GG: ... GG: Really? uu: HELL YES. uu: I DO ENJOY A MEATY BITCH. WITH A LITTLE CLOUT. GG: What do you mean, exactly... GG: By "clout?" uu: OH. I THINK YOU KNOW. uu: WHEN PHYSICAL PORTIONS OF THE BITCH. KIND OF JUT OUT. EXUBERANTLY. GG: Do you mean... GG: My... GG: Why am I even having this conversation! uu: I JUST HAVE A WEAK SPOT. FOR THE ABOVE AVERAGE HEFT OF YOUR PARTS. WHICH WOBBLE THE MOST. uu: NOW DO SOMETHING NAUSEATING FOR ME TO WATCH. uu: I WANT TO SEE A TAWDRY ACT OF HARD CORE SCHMALTZ. uu: SEE THAT ROCK OVER THERE. PRETEND IT IS THE OTHER INSOLENT BITCH. uu: ACT A LITTLE NERVOUS. WITH YOUR IDLE HAND, GRAZE ONE OF YOUR MORE BULBOUS LOCATIONS "INCIDENTALLY". uu: THEN ASK THE ROCK IF IT WANTS TO FALL IN LOVE!!! OOOOOOOH. GG: What? No! GG: Are you insane? GG: I don't care where you are, or whatever the hell it is you "unlocked" to spy on me. GG: You aren't allowed to sit there all day leering at my boobs!!! uu: YOUR WHAT. GG: My... what? GG: Wait, what were YOU talking about? uu: NO. TELL ME WHAT THOSE THINGS YOU SAID ARE. I'M SO ENTICED! GG: Screw you! GG: Tell me what you were getting at with all that!! GG: The stuff about "clout," and my "bulbous locations." uu: I WAS JUST SAYING. MY TASTE PREFERS. uu: WHEN THE BUXOM SHREW'S PHYSIQUE PUTS A HEALTHY DENT IN SPACETIME. GG: Spacetime?? uu: I LIKE HOW SALTY IT IS. WHEN A BITCH GROWS OUT OF HER SKELETAL PHASE. uu: AND HER FRAME REALLY BEGINS TO CHALLENGE THE HORIZONTAL DIMENSIONS. GG: WHAT! uu: WHEN THE FEMALE RUMP STARTS GETTING MORE MILEAGE OUT OF ITS WIDENESS ATTRIBUTE. MORE BANG FOR ITS BOONBUCK! uu: IT EXCITES ME BETTER. WHEN BITCHES PUNISH THE GROUND. WITH EACH MEGALITHIC FOOTSTEP. GG: SHUT UP! GG: I'M NOT FAT!!! uu: JANE BITCH. I HAVE NEW ORDERS. uu: YOU WILL STRIP TO THE SCANTY PAIR OF PARTY PANTS AND THE CLOTH CHEST PIECE WHICH YOU WEAR UNDER THOSE PLAIN RAGS. uu: THEN FIND A NAUGHTY PATCH OF MUD. uu: AND ROLL AROUND IN THE MUD. LIKE AN EARTH PIG. uu: FLAUNTING FOR ME. YOUR SLIPPERY AND SWOLLEN PORCINE PHYSICALITY. uu: AND MAYBE GRUNT SOME DECADENT POEMS THROUGH YOUR SNOUT. ABOUT SOME SHITFACE YOU "ADOREFJSDKLJJF". uu: OOOOH YES. uu: THAT WOULD BE. uu: *WRRRRETCHED!* GG: GO FUCK YOURSELF! uu: WAIT! DON'T SHUT ME OUT. uu: REMEMBER WHAT I SAID. ABOUT OUR DIFFERENT CULTURES OR WHATEVER. uu: HAVE A FUCKING OPEN MIND, JANE. uu: I MADE YOU A PRESENT. FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY. WHATEVER THAT ACTUALLY IS. uu: SEE HOW I'M MAKING AN EFFORT TO UNDERSTAND YOUR CUSTOMS? uu: MEET ME HALF OF THE GODDAMN WAY. GG: Oh cripes. GG: What is it? uu: A SUBLIME ARTISTIC PORTRAIT. uu: REMEMBER HOW I SAID MY POWER WAS GROWING WITH EACH DAY. uu: THIS APPLIES AS WELL TO MY PROWESS AS A DRAFTSMAN. GG: Oh goodness, no. You poor delusional thing. GG: I don't care what progress you think you've made. You will never be a good artist, dear. uu: HORSESHIT. uu: MY ILLUSTRATION IS STUNNING. IT IS NEARLY A PHOTOGRAPHIC REPRESENTATION OF YOUR ODIOUS MILKSHAKE. uu: NOW PARK THE INDUSTRIAL LOAD OF FREIGHT YOU DECLARE A BOTTOM. AND FEAST YOUR EYES ON MY FUCKING EXCELLENCE! uu: http://tinyurl.com/JANETHISISYOU GG: Groan. uu: I BELIEVE I HAVE CHOSEN THE PERFECT SHAPE FOR YOU. uu: IT IS DESCRIBED IN CERTAIN CIRCLES KNOWLEDGEABLE OF THE ARTS. AS. "A CIRCLE". uu: I AM VERY PLEASED WITH HOW FAITHFULLY IT HAS CAPTURED THE OBSCENE ROTUNDITY. OF YOUR MAGNIFICENT CARRIAGE. uu: TRULY A SPITTING IMAGE OF THE CROCKER BITCH. uu: NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY. YOU MAY LEARN SOMETHING. uu: THE MASTERPIECE AFICIONADO WILL NOTICE. HOW I ACHIEVED THIS HIGHLY ADVANCED AND DIFFICULT SHAPE. uu: WHAT MOST GIFTED ARTISANS WILL TELL YOU. IS THAT. CIRCLES ARE BASICALLY FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO DRAW. uu: TRUST ME. uu: IT'S LIKE A PARADOX. A SHAPE WITHOUT ANGLES. WHAT?? uu: SO I FUCKING CHEATED. uu: I NAVIGATED THE IRRATIONAL PERIMETER BY MAKING A LOT OF EASILY UNDERSTANDABLE, TOTALLY LOGICAL MARKS. FORMING A WHOLE BUNCH OF LITTLE RIGHT ANGLES. uu: THE CHEATING PART HAPPENS WHEN I DO THIS A LOT. SO IT GOES IN A ROUND DIRECTION. uu: THIS ONE CAME OUT WELL I THINK. BUT THERE'S ROOM TO IMPROVE. uu: I HAVE THEORIZED THAT IF I KEEP MAKING BOGUS CIRCLES LIKE THIS. uu: WHILE DRAWING MORE AND MORE ANGLES. BUT SMALLER. SO SMALL THAT YOU START CAN'T SEEING THEM. uu: THAT THE ILLUSION OF THE CIRCLE WILL BE COMPLETE! AND PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE IN THE FAKE CIRCLE. LIKE A BUNCH OF SUCKERS. uu: I BET NOBODY HAS THOUGHT OF THAT CIRCLE STRATEGY. I THINK I'M THE FIRST AT THIS IDEA. AND BEST AT IT ALREADY. uu: PEOPLE THINK I'M DUMB. ESPECIALLY THE VOICE IN MY HEAD. uu: AND THEY MAY BE RIGHT ABOUT ME BEING DUMB. uu: BUT WHEN IT COMES TO THE SPECIAL WAY I DO THINGS. WHICH IS ALWAYS ACTUALLY. THE PERFECT WAY. uu: I AM. uu: A GENIUS!
For this stretch, I don't think I'll be doing the midnight updates anymore. At least not midnight EST. It always seems to keep the kids up too late! The kids of the Americas, I mean, which I'm sure represents the majority of the readership. It's always midnight SOMEWHERE, though. Instead I'll probably be updating around the strike of midnight in some European nation, most days. Which nation will it be? It is a fun surprise.
As you can see, it is a pretty swift horse schedule, with a couple of horseless weeks mixed in there. You may recall my mnemonic device for remembering the previous M/W/F schedule of Monhay, Wedsneigh, and Frihorse. Now we can add two more to help you remember, Tuesnort, and Thursclop. I understand this comic can get confusing sometimes, so you are definitely going to need those to help guide you on the rest of this journey.
All pages for the above horses have already been drawn. I still have a batch of pages to draw to round out A6A6I5, but not as many as I have already done. I hope that you like it when characters in stories talk to one another, because there's an awful lot of that to come. Please stand by patiently and enthusiastically as my fake teens sit around bullshitting to the bitter end. Then a bunch of cool stuff will happen, and that will be that!
1) New trailer for Hiveswap! Creeping ever closer to the release of episode one. In case you weren't aware by now, What Pumpkin Studios is developing it. WP is now a gamedev studio which I happen to think is pretty cool. There have been a bunch of Kickstarter updates recently showing progress too. Here are some more links which will help you keep up with game news: Twitter | Tumblr | FB
2) Homestuck returns on April 13th! That's in just a few days. Are you ready? I doubt it, but when has that ever stopped us before. We start with Caliborn's much anticipated masterpiece, running from the 13th-15th. Then regular updates probably resuming a week after that. I haven't decided on the update schedule yet, but when I do it will almost certainly be communicated to you in the only manner which you will tolerate from me, which is more horse calendars. I am thinking of a fairly swift update schedule. A lot has piled up. Over the last month (not counting his 40 page masterpiece, which was done months ago) I have somehow drawn another 400 pages, which is possibly some sort of MSPA record. Be warned, due to that obscene page rate some of these panels are lookin pretty fast and loose! They nevertheless exist, which is usually what matters most for this website. There's still more to draw beyond that to finish off the rest of A6A6I5, which is the final "normal act". But really not too much. We're getting real close here. I will chip away at the remaining panels as I roll out this batch. Then, it's all animation work after that.
3) Paradox Space! 4/13 is the exact one year anniversary of its launch. And as HS resumes, PXS will be pausing for a good while. We actually paused production back in January, and have just been posting from a comic buffer since. This has much to do with shifting priorities heavily to gamedev needs, but I'll explain more about it and the future of PXS in a little while, on that site. But also, there'll be a PXS book coming out soon! It looks very good. Also, if you haven't checked out PXS in a while, now would be a great time, because it's going into its pause on a very strong note. It's been running an incredibly great 51 page story by Zack, Jon, and Shelby. Kudos to all of them. This has easily been one of my faves.