GG: That is the most pointless and incomprehensible load of drivel I have ever read. GG: Your "portrait" is every bit as abysmal as I was expecting. And for the last time. I AM NOT FAT. GG: I think your claims of attraction to heavyset women, which you present as "flattery," is an obvious ruse to get me to feel insecure about my appearance, and it isn't going to work! uu: OINK. GG: SHUT YOUR STUPID FACE!!! GG: UGH, THIS BIRTHDAY IS SO AWFUL! I CAN'T STAND IT! GG: WHY IS EVERYONE TREATING ME LIKE SHIT TODAY? GG: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?! uu: YOU WERE. WAIT. WHAT'S THE CONJUGATION ASSOCIATED WITH "HUMAN BIRTH"? uu: IS IT. HUMAN BORTH? uu: YOU WERE HUMAN BORTH. GG: SHUT UP! GG: I'M DONE HUMORING YOUR PERVERTED ADOLESCENT MIND GAMES! GG: TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO CALLIOPE! GG: CALLIOPE!!! GG: WE WANT YOU BACK! PLEASE COME BACK AND SPARE US FROM THIS LECHEROUS NINCOMPOOP! GG: CALLIOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GG: WHY DOESN'T THIS WORK?! uu: SAYING HER NAME ONLY WAKES HER UP. IF SHE'S ALIVE. uu: SO YOUR HOG FACE CAN SNORT THE DIRTY SYLLABLES ALL IT WANTS. HELL, I WILL EVEN GIVE YOU A HAND! uu: CALLIOPE! WAKE UP SIS! uu: HAA HAA, WHOOPS. SHE CAN'T. uu: THE BITCH IS DEAD! GG: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! uu: NO IT'S TRUE. I GOT SOMEBODY TO STAB HER A LOT. uu: THEN I STOLE HER BLOOD FOR MY LETTERS. GG: NO!!! THAT CAN'T BE TRUE! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE EVEN YOU WOULD DO SOMETHING SO TERRIBLE! uu: JANE BITCH. YOUR PREPOSTEROUS FEMALE EMOTIONS ARE GOING EARTH BANANAS AGAIN. uu: SETTLE DOWN AND LISTEN TO BOY REASON. DO NOT MAKE ME DEMONSTRATE THE VERACITY OF MY FACTS. YET AGAIN. uu: THAT SACCHARINE TRAMP IS SUCH A GONER. SHE'S NEVER COMING BACK. uu: JUST LIKE YOUR DAPPER HUMAN GUARDIAN. GG: WHAT?? WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY FATHER! GG: WHERE IS HE? uu: HE'S FUCKING DEAD IS WHERE. GG: YOU'RE LYING AGAIN!!! GG: TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW! uu: GOD. I'M TRYING TO. uu: MY FACTS ARE HAVING DIFFICULTY PENETRATING YOUR HYSTERICAL ATTITUDE. LISTEN TO ME VERY CLOSE. uu: HE WAS CAPTURED BY AN AGENT SOON AFTER YOU BEGAN YOUR QUEST. HE WAS THEN PUT IN JAIL ON DERSE. GG: Ok... GG: So he's on Derse, then? uu: BITCH, YOU AREN'T PAYING ATTENTION. DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE PRISON SYSTEM ON DERSE? uu: IT ISN'T LIKE THE SOFT TIME YOU DO ON PROSPIT. I BET YOU NEVER SPENT ANY TIME IN THE JOKE THEY CALL A SLAMMER THERE. LET ALONE ON DERSE. GG: And I suppose you have?? uu: I WAS NOT VERY WELL BEHAVED. I DID MORE THAN MY SHARE OF TIME. CHAINED TO THE WALL OF A CELL. uu: HEE HEE! LIKE I WASN'T SO USED TO THAT. I WAS LIKE. DO YOUR WORST. uu: AND THEN THEY DID. DERSITES DO NOT TREAT THEIR PRISONERS GOOD. TO SAY THE LEAST! uu: I WAS ONLY ABLE TO SURVIVE THE BRUTALITY. DUE TO MY EXCEPTIONAL CONSTITUTION. AND EVEN TO SOME EXTENT. MY ABILITY TO ENJOY ANGUISH. uu: BUT YOUR PATHETIC, FRAIL HUMAN "DAD" IS A DIFFERENT STORY. THERE IS NO DOUBT AT ALL. THAT HE IS DEAD BY NOW! GG: No. Don't say that. Shut up!
For this stretch, I don't think I'll be doing the midnight updates anymore. At least not midnight EST. It always seems to keep the kids up too late! The kids of the Americas, I mean, which I'm sure represents the majority of the readership. It's always midnight SOMEWHERE, though. Instead I'll probably be updating around the strike of midnight in some European nation, most days. Which nation will it be? It is a fun surprise.
As you can see, it is a pretty swift horse schedule, with a couple of horseless weeks mixed in there. You may recall my mnemonic device for remembering the previous M/W/F schedule of Monhay, Wedsneigh, and Frihorse. Now we can add two more to help you remember, Tuesnort, and Thursclop. I understand this comic can get confusing sometimes, so you are definitely going to need those to help guide you on the rest of this journey.
All pages for the above horses have already been drawn. I still have a batch of pages to draw to round out A6A6I5, but not as many as I have already done. I hope that you like it when characters in stories talk to one another, because there's an awful lot of that to come. Please stand by patiently and enthusiastically as my fake teens sit around bullshitting to the bitter end. Then a bunch of cool stuff will happen, and that will be that!
1) New trailer for Hiveswap! Creeping ever closer to the release of episode one. In case you weren't aware by now, What Pumpkin Studios is developing it. WP is now a gamedev studio which I happen to think is pretty cool. There have been a bunch of Kickstarter updates recently showing progress too. Here are some more links which will help you keep up with game news: Twitter | Tumblr | FB
2) Homestuck returns on April 13th! That's in just a few days. Are you ready? I doubt it, but when has that ever stopped us before. We start with Caliborn's much anticipated masterpiece, running from the 13th-15th. Then regular updates probably resuming a week after that. I haven't decided on the update schedule yet, but when I do it will almost certainly be communicated to you in the only manner which you will tolerate from me, which is more horse calendars. I am thinking of a fairly swift update schedule. A lot has piled up. Over the last month (not counting his 40 page masterpiece, which was done months ago) I have somehow drawn another 400 pages, which is possibly some sort of MSPA record. Be warned, due to that obscene page rate some of these panels are lookin pretty fast and loose! They nevertheless exist, which is usually what matters most for this website. There's still more to draw beyond that to finish off the rest of A6A6I5, which is the final "normal act". But really not too much. We're getting real close here. I will chip away at the remaining panels as I roll out this batch. Then, it's all animation work after that.
3) Paradox Space! 4/13 is the exact one year anniversary of its launch. And as HS resumes, PXS will be pausing for a good while. We actually paused production back in January, and have just been posting from a comic buffer since. This has much to do with shifting priorities heavily to gamedev needs, but I'll explain more about it and the future of PXS in a little while, on that site. But also, there'll be a PXS book coming out soon! It looks very good. Also, if you haven't checked out PXS in a while, now would be a great time, because it's going into its pause on a very strong note. It's been running an incredibly great 51 page story by Zack, Jon, and Shelby. Kudos to all of them. This has easily been one of my faves.