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TT: Jane, you know,
TT: We probably should have talked about this Jake stuff a long time ago.
GG: Tell me about it.
TT: I don't know if I was kidding myself all those years that there was a conflict of interest between us, or what.
GG: Same.
TT: Maybe I was just pretending your feelings for him weren't a factor because my pursuit of him was already overcomplicated enough.
TT: Or maybe it was more like I was aware of them, but on some level decided they shouldn't matter, because I felt like you had a natural advantage over me.
TT: Cause you know. You're like.
TT: Not a dude.
GG: But I always felt you had the advantage over me too!
GG: Because you're... YOU.
GG: You make things happen, and I don't.
TT: Yeah well. Turns out maybe that's not such a good quality if you wanna make a relationship last longer than three seconds. At least not in my case.
TT: I know I ripped into him pretty hard when I had the clown hair and the little soda can on my head.
TT: But the truth is I was pretty goddamn overbearing.
TT: Sometimes I look back on stuff and think I might have essentially bullied him into a relationship with me.
TT: Actually, it's more complicated than that. Parts of me were operating independently from myself.
TT: So it's like I was bullying myself into bullying him into liking me. If that makes sense.
GG: It doesn't really. But that's fine. :B
TT: Anyway, my insanity scared him right the fuck off. There were times when I basically treated him like shit without even realizing it, and I regret it.
TT: I should probably tell him that, but given how I just called him an asshole while wearing orange suspenders, I'm probably the last person he wants to hear from now.
GG: Clearly we both used some poor judgment.
GG: Looking back, it seems crazy to me that we both jeopardized our friendship over a mutual infatuation with, let's face it, one spectacularly goofy kid.
TT: Can we both at least agree we may have overrated the allure of Jake English?
GG: YES.
TT: Maybe if we could have talked to each other about him it would have helped. Like talked about why we felt that way about him.
TT: At least maybe it would have helped us knock English down from the ludicrous pedestal we put him on.
GG: Yeah. That might have saved us a lot of grief.
GG: It's not like I hate him now, even though that's probably what he thinks. He's still my friend.
GG: But the extent to which I centered my whole life around a childish fantasy about him is just painfully embarrassing in hindsight.
GG: I wonder if I'll ever be able to look at him again without feeling miserable about myself?
TT: So does that mean we're both totally over him now? I can't really tell.
GG: Me neither. :\
TT: I guess the real problem is our clique was too small.
TT: Poor Jake was the only viable romantic target. I mean, considering our respective orientations.
TT: Maybe we just never knew enough people?
GG: Perhaps.
GG: Or maybe we just don't need anybody.
GG: As anything other than friends, I mean.
TT: In the interest of appeasing the bitterness gods, let's go with the latter.

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tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]
TG: hay janey
TG: how u holdin up girl
GG: I feel like garbage. But otherwise, fine.
TG: you off urself yet
GG: No?
TG: ok good
TG: please dont yet
TG: i got a personal back stage pass 2 the jake english self loathing tour
TG: an im in no condition to take the full brunt of his lamentations but im the only one hes talkin to soooo
TG: need a lil support here from my bestie
GG: What is he saying?
TG: he wants me to relay an apology to you
TG: cause he thinks hes not brave enough to say it like ten feet away there on his stone bed and he thinks ur pissed @ him
GG: Aw man.
GG: I don't want to do this.
TG: do what
GG: An awkward "tell him I said" sequence of apologies through text messages.
TG: ok
TG: thats a sane answer
TG: what should i say
GG: Tell him I said we'll talk about it later.
GG: Like, after we're dead.
TG: k
TG: well maybe i wont say that last part but k
GG: How's it going over there?
TG: fine
TG: not a lot of progress on the dyin front
TG: dont look like dirk much wants to stab me with his manime sword...
TG: tbh waiting around to be buddymurdered and/or off oneself is even more awkward than you would think plus kind of a drag??
TG: specially w a headache blarg
TG: jane this is dumb
GG: Yeah. Call me crazy, but I don't think our candy-addled selves thought this through entirely.
TG: yo trixster mode sucks ass txt it
TG: jane u know what im sad about
GG: Hm?
TG: fefeta exploding
GG: Yeah. :(
TG: whyd she have to die again like that
TG: she was so sweet and perfect and my friend
TG: she would always just talk and talk about the funniest things from her life as two troll ladies and it always lifted my spirits
TG: am i cursed or somethin jane?
GG: Cursed?
TG: yeah
TG: its like
TG: i always seem to accidentally kill my cats
TG: or my half cat girls
TG: ummm
TG: who are part sea princess and also an alien ghost
TG: i dunno maybe this line o speculation has no particular coherence
TG: jane
TG: after we go god tier you want to help me have a funeral for her
GG: Of course, Roxy.
TG: i would like that
TG: i always wanted to go to a funeral
TG: is that weird? maybe thats weird i dont know
TG: i mean not like in an especially morbid or gothy kinda way i just think it would be cool to honor her memory
TG: i never did that for frigglish but i should have
TG: shit jakes buggin me again brb

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