DAVE: what do you actually want from her DAVE: do you want her to stop drinking faygo and falling asleep in puddles of red fructose corn slobber DAVE: or do you want her to somehow address the root of those habits and cut all that out for good KARKAT: YES! I WANT HER TO DO THAT! KARKAT: THE LATTER THING. DAVE: yeah i can understand where youre coming from DAVE: but in situations like this i think you need to remind yourself theres only so much you can do for somebody DAVE: and maybe they arent going to want or need your help and you just have to figure out how to deal with that DAVE: like at some point in your life one of your friends might start spending all her time with a guy you think is bad news DAVE: and you have to decide if you need to intervene as a friend or just let it go because people can change or drift apart or whatever because thats just something that happens KARKAT: DAVE KARKAT: YOUR WISDOM, MY GOD KARKAT: IT'S KNOCKING MY SOCKS OFF. HOLY SHIT, PLEASE TELL ME THE SECRET TO YOUR WISE WAYS. KARKAT: AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, MAYBE YOU COULD TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. DAVE: look all im saying is DAVE: there comes a time in every young womans life when she has to come to terms with the decision to gradually morph into a juggalo while all her friends and loved ones watch in dismay DAVE: terezi has strolled through the dark carnival and taken a great brooding whiff of that decisions festive asshole and the choice she has made is all too clear DAVE: shes down with the clown KARKAT: NO, DON'T SAY THAT. DAVE: its true man DAVE: you can live in denial for only so long DAVE: but as your bro i have to say it like it is DAVE: she and gamzee man DAVE: that is literally a thing DAVE: they are in the hate square together DAVE: total kismespades dude KARKAT: NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN. KARKAT: I MEAN, I KNOW THAT. KARKAT: JUST WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PUT EVERYTHING SO "COLORFULLY"? KARKAT: I GUESS I DO THE SAME THING, BUT YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO TAKE THINGS TO A DIFFERENT LEVEL OF GROSS. JUST PLEASE SAY SHIT NORMALLY FOR A CHANGE, OK. KARKAT: REGARDING GAMZEE, YEAH. I KNEW ABOUT THAT ALREADY. DAVE: oh DAVE: really? DAVE: then what the fuck have i been tiptoeing around all this time god damn DAVE: i thought this was supposed to be like this "big secret" that would "destroy you" if you found out KARKAT: MOTHERFUCKER, PLEASE. KARKAT: DO YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT? I'VE SUSPECTED THIS WAS GOING ON FOR A LONG TIME. KARKAT: I WAS JUST BEING LIKE YOU, PLAYING IT COOL, LETTING HER DO WHATEVER. DAVE: then why is it a problem now KARKAT: BECAUSE THIS IS THE LAST STRAW! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE READY FOR ACTION BY NOW. KARKAT: NOT COMATOSE, HALF NAKED AND FAYGO STICKY. KARKAT: GOD, I WONDER WHAT SORT OF BULLSHIT HE'S GOT HER BELIEVING IN NOW? ABOUT THE MIRTHFUL MESSIAHS AND SHANGRI LA AND ALL THAT GARBAGE. KARKAT: IT MAKES ME SO SAD TO THINK SHE'S CAUGHT UP IN HIS SUPERSTITIOUS WEB OF LIES. KARKAT: IT'S BEEN AWFUL WATCHING THE PERSON I USED TO KNOW SLOWLY DRIFT AWAY FROM ME, TO THE POINT WHERE SHE MIGHT AS WELL BE GONE. KARKAT: HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO DEAL WITH THAT? DAVE: what KARKAT: YOU AND SHE USED TO SEE EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME. WHAT HAPPENED? DAVE: like i said i just put it behind me DAVE: she started sneaking around in vents and stuff acting suspicious trying to hide the fact that she was seeing him DAVE: like she was obviously ashamed of it and worried how id react DAVE: but it was hella transparent that was going on so i just said DAVE: thats fine yall can do your blackrom thing with the juggalo its your decision DAVE: but i cant keep playing along DAVE: i cant do the quadrant thing its just too weird for me DAVE: im not a troll and im not all open minded about gettin multicultural DAVE: i still dont understand the spades thing and it makes me really fuckin uncomfortable even trying to imagine how that works and i sure as fuck dont want to date anybody whos got a hateclown on the side DAVE: so i said no hard feelings i still like you and all, do whatever makes you happy ill just be over here in the hyper gravity chamber training to beat lord english KARKAT: WE HAVE A HYPER GRAVITY CHAMBER??? DAVE: no KARKAT: OH DAVE: but what about you DAVE: havent you been talking to gamzee this whole time DAVE: or is he just balls out lying to you about sneakin around the meteor with terezi DAVE: i thought moirails were supposed to be open with each other about stuff like that KARKAT: YEAH. UH. KARKAT: GAMZEE ENDED OUR MOIRALLEGIANCE QUITE SOME TIME AGO. DAVE: oh shit DAVE: sorry to hear about that KARKAT: IT'S FINE. IT WAS REALLY A DEAD END PALE RELATIONSHIP. KARKAT: AT FIRST IT REALLY SEEMED LIKE I WAS A NECESSARY PART OF HIS LIFE, KEEPING HIS SHIT UNDER CONTROL... KARKAT: BUT AS TIME WENT ON HE JUST GOT COMPLETELY DISINTERESTED AND WASN'T KEEPING UP WITH HIS END OF THE THING AT ALL. KARKAT: HE STARTED GETTING SO UNBELIEVABLY SELF SATISFIED AND PIOUS, LIKE WAY MORE THAN HE EVER WAS BEFORE. KARKAT: LIKE HE'S JUST SO COMPLETELY CONVINCED HE'S FOUND HIS CALLING, THAT THIS SESSION IS THE GATEWAY TO THE PROMISED LAND WHERE HE'LL FULFILL HIS DESTINY. KARKAT: HE'S SO CAUGHT UP IN HIS IDIOTIC SCHEMES HE COULDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME ANYMORE. KARKAT: WHATEVER. AT LEAST HE STOPPED KILLING PEOPLE. DAVE: amazing i spent three years on this rock and never said one thing to the guy DAVE: i saw him once tho DAVE: just a glimpse in a dark hallway DAVE: it was kinda like seeing a blurry purple bigfoot with a huge boner KARKAT: OH GOD! KARKAT: THAT FUCKING GOD TIER OUTFIT. KARKAT: WHAT A GODDAMN FAKER. I CAN'T FOR THE LIFE OF ME IMAGINE WHERE HE GOT THAT THING. KARKAT: I KNOW KANAYA SURE AS HELL DIDN'T MAKE IT FOR HIM. KARKAT: THE MAN LITERALLY HAS NO SHAME. DAVE: why is he wearing it KARKAT: I DON'T KNOW! KARKAT: I DON'T THINK EVEN HE KNOWS. KARKAT: MAYBE TO MAKE A "GOOD IMPRESSION" ON HIS FAKE ASS RELIGIOUS IDOL, AFTER HE THRUSTS HIS SACRED COD PIECE THROUGH THE GATES OF SHANGRI LA. DAVE: ahahaha the best thing we ever do together is slam this assholes dumb religion KARKAT: YEAH!!! DAVE: really its the most hilarious fucking horseshit ive ever heard DAVE: i mean pretty much all religions are wrong but theres wrong and then theres WRONG DAVE: as in ZERO CHANCE YOU ARE EVER PROVEN RIGHT ABOUT EVEN A SINGLE THING DUDE, EVER EVER EVER KARKAT: HAHAHA! IT'S SO TRUE. KARKAT: I WISH I COULD SEE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE FINALLY REALIZES EVERYTHING HE BELIEVES IS A LIE. DAVE: be one sad clown that day DAVE: his bulge will probably deflate and make this high pitch noise plus corresponding flatulence KARKAT: HEY DAVE. KARKAT: WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN TO US AFTER WE MEET UP WITH THE OTHERS. KARKAT: I MEAN, AS FRIENDS. DAVE: what do you mean as friends KARKAT: I MEAN WILL WE STILL GET TO BE BROS. DAVE: uh DAVE: yeah? DAVE: no offense dog but thats a dumb and neurotic question KARKAT: NO BUT SEE KARKAT: WE'RE GOING TO MEET ALL THESE OTHER PEOPLE. KARKAT: JOHN AMONG THEM. KARKAT: AND JOHN IS YOUR BEST FRIEND, SO YOU WILL OSTENSIBLY RESUME THAT FRIENDSHIP WHERE YOU LEFT OFF. KARKAT: AND JOHN AND I HAD A FEW TESTY CONVERSATIONS WITH EACH OTHER ONE DAY, AND IN MOST OF THOSE I MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF. KARKAT: AND I GUESS WE BECAME FRIENDS THAT DAY? MAYBE?? KARKAT: BUT THE REALITY IS IT WAS JUST ONE DAY, AND HE'D BE WELL WITHIN A REASONABLE FRAME OF MIND NOT TO GIVE A CRAP IN HINDSIGHT ABOUT THE GUY WHO TROLLED HIM ONCE THREE YEARS AGO. KARKAT: AND THE SAME GOES FOR JADE! KARKAT: I THOUGHT WE HAD A DECENT RAPPORT, BUT AGAIN, IT WAS ONE DAY FOREVER AGO. SHE PROBABLY BARELY REMEMBERS ME AT THIS POINT. KARKAT: WHEREAS THAT DOESN'T MATTER FOR YOU, BECAUSE YOU GO WAY BACK WITH THEM. THIS IS LIKE A FUCKING *HEARTFELT REUNION* FOR YOU GUYS. KARKAT: BUT WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE ME?? KARKAT: I CAN HARDLY CALL GAMZEE A FRIEND ANYMORE. WHO KNOWS IF MY FRIENDSHIP WITH TEREZI WILL EVER BE WHAT IT WAS BEFORE. I USED TO BE PRETTY CLOSE WITH KANAYA, BUT NOW SHE AND ROSE NEVER LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE FOR MORE THAN A FUCKING MINUTE. KARKAT: ALL MY OTHER FRIENDS ARE DEAD, AND NOW WE'RE LEAVING THE DREAM BUBBLES BEHIND. KARKAT: AND THEN THERE'S YOU. KARKAT: SO KARKAT: I'M JUST WONDERING WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. DAVE: you forgot the mayor DAVE: youre pretty damn tight with the mayor arent you KARKAT: THE MAYOR'S FRIENDSHIP IS A UNIVERSAL CONSTANT, AND I AM INSULTED BEYOND COMPREHENSION AS WELL AS MY CAPACITY TO VOMIT THAT YOU WOULD INSINUATE OTHERWISE. DAVE: yeah the mayor rules DAVE: but as usual you are overcomplicating this DAVE: just like you overcomplicate everything DAVE: friendship leadership romance DAVE: shipping grids and dick battles DAVE: this is real simple DAVE: our meteor will somehow tokyo drift to a dead stop in the new session DAVE: at which point we will keep being bros for life or something DAVE: i will start being friends with john and jade again because they are my friends and never stopped being that DAVE: john will also be your friend because hes cool and also a doofus who is easy to be friends with DAVE: jade will be your friend too cause shes nice and likes being friends with people DAVE: i can personally guarantee that she will be happy to see you DAVE: and as for the new people i dont know about them but theyll probably be your friends too DAVE: all i know is two of them are my parents and two of them are johns parents and aint no rule that says you cant be friends with your bros mom and pop DAVE: especially when your bros mom and pop are a couple of sassy teens DAVE: as for terezi i dont know i guess well see what happens DAVE: and as for gamzee fuck that guy with a balloon poodle DAVE: friendship lesson secured the end TEREZI: ZZZZZZZ ZZNK SNOOORT TEREZI: SM4CK SM4CK TEREZI: NNNRNNNNNNNRRNGNGNHGHGL3 KARKAT: UH OH, LOOK WHO'S STARTING TO COME AROUND!
I've been thinking this over for the last few weeks, and I've decided now is the best time to suspend all regular updates until I've finished the story, rather than pausing just before I start on the final animation. When I'm done, I'll post it all at once. There are a lot of reasons why I think this is the best strategy.
Primarily, it's about efficiency, and being able to work on the remaining (and likely the most difficult parts) of the story without distractions, or the added challenge of having to crank out the next serial update as fast as possible, which means I always have to stay totally linear with the work. This way I can produce the rest of it more comprehensively, prepare animation assets in advance, do more stuff in parallel, etc. It will go faster. And ultimately, I think it'll read better as one thing, rather than as a sequence tortuously spread out over time, as has been the norm for years. I think it's close enough to the end now to safely retire Homestuck as a serial reading experience. There's nothing to be gained from that presentation anymore, in my view. It's just time to bear down and get it done.
I guess we're breaking for a long time on a big cliffhanger, but there's no way around that. Actually, pausing at any point later would probably be even worse, as it keeps pushing into endgame territory. That's why I'm stopping now instead of later. With such a big readership, the reactions will only get crazier, and the demand for new updates will get more intense. Over time, knowing so many people are slamming refresh many times per day starts to be more of an omnipresent distraction than anything. I think there is sort of a perception that I am creatively feeding off the hysteria surrounding the comic, but on a very practical level this is not true. Creating entertainment is not really a lifestyle of madcap shenanigans. It is a very sober, often dull process that requires a huge amount of time and concentration. It will be better to disarm the hype machine while I get the hard stuff done.
So what is the itinerary? Need to finish A663 through A666, and then A7. Keep in mind that these sub acts can be literally any length, even onepage. There's a good bit of ground to cover, but most of the effort will be tied up in animation chores.
I don't really have a time estimate here, and am not sure there's any real advantage in coming up with one. It'll just be a while. I also have to allocate some time to work on the Kickstarter game. That didn't stop being a thing I have to do. It's coming along. I'll probably have a more substantive update on that before the end of the year. There hasn't been much to report yet since it's mostly been in a high level planning and writing phase. And firming up tons of legal minutiae. Stuff like that.
But I will say there is something new to watch out for next month. Kind of a secret project I'm involved with, unrelated to MSPA or the KS game. Well, it's technically not that secret. It's only secret if you don't know about it yet. Meditate on those profound words, and keep an eye out for news on this in coming weeks.
Oh yeah. Almost forgot, I'll have to take some time to port the site to a new server. Obviously it hasn't been cutting it the last couple months. So we'll work on that soon. Hopefully the new service will be able to handle the massive heart attack the next batch up updates will represent.
During the gigapause, there should still be plenty to see here in the news section. Whether it's about the aforementioned projects, or new product releases, there'll be a lot going on. Trust me, the coolest stuff at What Pumpkin this season has yet to be released.
A brief update on Namco High: Looks like we are targeting December 17th for release. Be sure to tune in on that day for the most incredible simulated dating experience of your entire life.
Also if you click on that, and scroll down to the "Students" section, you will notice there are some Homestuck characters being revealed as secret additions to the cast. They are secret to everyone but you! And a lot of other people probably.
This is a dating sim I've been working on with Namco Bandai's ShiftyLook where you can guide the romantic fortunes of all your favorite classic video game charact... wait. What? You're confused? I can't imagine why. But ok, I'll start at the beginning.
A while ago, ShiftyLook, which is a Namco Bandai jam, asked me if I wanted to work on a project for them. It could be anything. I said that sounds cool. Except that I already had a lot to do, so maybe it wasn't realistic. But they said that's no problem. All I had to do was assemble an elite team of writers, artists, and programmers, and tell them what to do. If I pulled together a crack squad of loyal creatives, they would HAVE to do what I said, no matter how little sense it made. So I said that sounds good. I thought about it really hard, for three of the most intellectually excruciating seconds of my life. Then I said we should make a dating sim. I mean. Obviously.
They said, are you sure that's a good idea? I said, hey who do you think is in charge here? They said they were. I said, oh, right. But it didn't matter. In the confusion, my pitch had somehow been approved due to a clerical error in Japan. Then I shouted suckers and fell backwards out of the airplane.
While tumbling magnificently back to Earth, I pulled the vintage rolodex out of my horsehair fannypack, and began recruiting the best of the best. And so my team was convened. They were waiting for me below with the trampoline thing firefighters use. They watched as the Hussie stunt-mannequin gently descended, and then exploded with unexpected confetti. I then revealed that I had been waiting there with them for the last several hours, wearing a disguise, straddling my most famous horse. I introduced myself, and they graciously pretended they didn't know it was me all along. (I repeat. Best of the best.) I then clapped my hands and rubbed them together a lot and said, who's ready to make some NOISE in the dating sim genre? Who's ready to DO SOME DAMAGE? Nobody knew what to say to that, so I pressed on valiantly. I think I know what the people want, I said. What they WANT, is to be able to manipulate their favorite classic video game characters into a variety of lurid but safe-for-work romantic encounters. What they WANT, for instance, is to cajole a cute Katamari into some sort of kissing situation with the spaceship from Galaga. Are you ready to GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT? They erupted into applause and began chanting my name, and they haven't stopped since.
Namco High comes out probably some time next month.
Homestuck book 3 and Problem Sleuth book 5 are here! The Homestuck book contains Act 3. The Problem Sleuth book is the final volume of the series.
(The cover of PS5 glows in the dark by the way.)
And now that the Problem Sleuth series is wrapped up, you can get the full set. Dedicating this much paper to three cartoon detectives trying to leave an office should be illegal. But it isn't, and we are exploiting that fact to our advantage here.
We upgraded the whole What Pumpkin store. There's a bunch of new stuff to buy as well! Including these lovely shirts:
All these great designs were by Rennie Kingsley. Alpha kid designs by the same artist will be coming soon too.
There will be so many other cool things hitting WP this fall, I honestly couldn't list them all off the top of my head. Just keep refreshing the site constantly. Even in your sleep. Then you will be ok.