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ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5 INTERMISSION 2

I UNLOCKED MORE GNOMES.
I thought they were leprechauns.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY ARE.
Ok.
I HAVE NOW CONQUERED FOUR PLANETS. AND HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF GNOMES UNDER MY COMMAND.
YELLOW HAT. BLUE HAT. RED HAT. AND NOW PURPLE HAT.
Congratulations.
THE PLANETS ARE BECOMING INCREASINGLY DIFFICULT TO CONQUER.
I ALMOST DID NOT MANAGE TO DESTROY THE PURPLE PLANET. WITHIN THE ALLOTTED TIME.
UNFORTUNATELY. THE QUALITY OF THE UNLOCKED GNOMES HAS NOT INCREASED TO MATCH THE ESCALATING DIFFICULTY OF MY QUEST.
IT SEEMS TO BE JUST THE OPPOSITE. THESE GNOMES ARE SHIT.
What's wrong with the new gnomes?
OK. RED HAT? HE HAS.
*NO FUCKING POWERS AT ALL.*
UNLESS HIS POWER IS TO FOLLOW ME AROUND CONSTANTLY.
Yes. That's basically what he does.
PURPLE HAT IS EVEN WORSE.
IS HIS POWER TO DANCE AROUND ALL THE TIME. WHILE SINGING RIDDLES TO ME?
Yes.
AWFUL.
PURPLE HAT'S BEHAVIOR IS SO INFURIATING. I HAVE ATTEMPTED TO MURDER HIM SEVERAL TIMES.
BUT TO NO AVAIL.
You can't kill purple hat. He's too lucky!
That's also his power. Being really lucky.
WHAT GOOD DOES THAT DO ME???
I don't know.
Get him to solve puzzles for you?
Use him as a human shield sometimes?
I mean a gnome shield.
OH YEAH. THAT'S ACTUALLY A REALLY GOOD IDEA.
You shouldn't be whining about how lame your minions are.
As you accumulate more, your job is obviously to combine their talents in creative ways to overcome the increasingly difficult challenges on your quest.
Synergize your time gnomes. Make them more than the sum of their pointy hats.
THAT'S GOING TO BE DIFFICULT.
THEY ARE ALL IDIOTS.
Nobody said it would be easy.
FINE.
I HAVE NO MORE QUESTIONS FOR NOW.
Hey.
Did you kill that cute turtle?
NO.
But I can see your past trail.
You're standing there holding a gun, and pointing it at the turtle.
OK. THEN YES.
I KILLED THE TURTLE.
Boooooooooo.

> END OF ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5 INTERMISSION 2


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RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 26 January 2017 by Andrew

Status of Hiveswap: the game is just about done. It could still use some more testing to be absolutely certain we are not releasing a buggy piece of shit! To that end it will be worth waiting another several weeks or so. Perhaps more intriguingly I should mention that I've been working with some people on another thing, which will need to be announced when it is ready. I think it would be best to coordinate the announcement of the thing in question with the release of the game. So I'm not sure which will be done first, the thing or the testing, but neither will be unveiled until both are good and ready. Thank you as always for your legendary patience.

P.S. here is an ongoing reminder that you can still get cool Hiveswap stuff in advance of playing it, to aid you in your tireless quest to achieve supreme brand loyalty. God speed.

Posted on 22 October 2016 by Andrew

Just going to leave this here for now, and assume that the kids these days will know what to do with it.

Posted on 12 June 2016 by Andrew

The final Homestuck album Volume 10 has been released. More fantastic music by many familiar names who have contributed to the comic over the years. Thanks to all who came together to make this. It's a great way to cap off an impressive discography, now standing at 27 albums.



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