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ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5 INTERMISSION 3

WAIT. WHY DID THAT PLANET GIVE ME TWO ELVES.
You're calling them elves now?
YES.
But they're leprechauns!
Or gnomes, according to some baloneyscholars.
THEY CAN NOW BE ADDITIONALLY REFERRED TO AS ELVES. I HAVE DECIDED.
Whatever.
WHY ARE THERE TWO.
Because of the two for one deal.
You sunk the 7th planet on the break. So when you destroyed the 6th planet, you unlocked both the 6th and 7th elf.
Now you're on the 8th planet. This one doesn't give you an elf.
IT DOESN'T.
No.
WHAT ABOUT A GNOME.
No.
WHAT ABOUT A LEPRECHAUN.
No.
You get nothing.
WHY NOT.
Because you're supposed to skip this one and destroy it last.
You're just wasting time hanging around here. The clock is ticking.
ALRIGHT.
BUT FIRST. I WANT TO GET THEIR POWERS STRAIGHT.
AM I CORRECT IN ASSUMING. THEIR POWERS KEEP GETTING MORE USELESS?
Yes.
JUST AS I SUSPECTED.
I DON'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE. I JUST WANT TO KNOW.
SO ORANGE HAT. WE HAVE ESTABLISHED. JUST WALKS AHEAD OF ME ALL THE TIME.
NO MATTER HOW FAR OFF HE WANDERS. AND GETS LOST. I ALWAYS SEEM TO CATCH UP WITH HIM.
Yes.
AND GREEN HAT.
HE JUST HAS A DOLL. WITH PINS IN IT.
Yes.
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT.
He has a doll with pins in it.
AND??
Every time you get a new elf, he'll take another pin out.
That's all I will tell you.
OK. GOT IT. IT'S POINTLESS. MOVING ON.
MAROON HAT.
I CAN'T TELL WHAT HIS POWER IS.
WHAT IS HIS POWER.
He doesn't have a power.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.
No.
THAT'S A NEW LOW. EVEN FOR THESE SHIT HEADS.
But maroon hat is pretty smart!
You can use him as a higher ranking henchman or something.
BEING SMART ISN'T A POWER.
PLUS. I DOUBT IT. HOW SMART CAN ONE OF THESE IMBECILES BE.
You should talk to him and find out.
NO.
Come on.
Just a little friendly chat.
FINE.
I WILL HAVE A WORD WITH HIM. VERY BRIEFLY.
Ok.
...
Hey.
Are you still talking to him?
Wow, you guys are really going at it there.
What the fuck could you be talking about for so long?
This is getting ridiculous.
The timer on the next cueball bomb is ticking away.
OK. I'M BACK.
And?
MAROON HAT IS HIGHLY INTELLIGENT AND PERSONABLE.
I HAVE DECIDED HE IS MY FAVORITE GUY SO FAR.
See? I told you.
I WILL GIVE HIM SOME IMPORTANT RESPONSIBILITIES LATER.
BUT I HAVE NOT DECIDED WHAT.
Maybe he can hold on to something important for you.
GOOD IDEA.
LIKE WHAT?
OH, I KNOW. MY CALTOP.
No not the caltop. That's dumb.
MY GUN?
No.
OH! MY CANDY.
No you idiot!
FUCK YOU. IF YOU HAVE AN IDEA. THEN JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS. PUZZLEMAN.
Look at the color of his hat. What else do you have that's that color?
UHH.
Also, what object can you think of that's kinda shaped like a 7?
HMM.
OH!!!
OHHHHHHHHHHH.
OF COURSE.
A BOOMERANG!
Ok, I give up.
I WILL MAKE A MENTAL NOTE TO SECURE A BOOMERANG IN THE FUTURE.
YES. IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. TO BE A BOOMERANG. THEMATICALLY.
BECAUSE IT ALWAYS COMES BACK AROUND. IN ONE BIG CIRCLE. LIKE ALL THE TIME SHIT. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT!
...
OK. LAST QUESTION.
WHY IS PURPLE HAT. CONSTANTLY DANCING IN MY PRESENCE?
Yeah.
I guess in retrospect, purple hat has always been pretty flirtatious, hasn't he?
WHAT?!
Maybe you should try to be open minded though.
Have you ever considered a relationship with someone?
Maybe you will discover you have never truly experienced joy until you have been in with a dancing elf.
-- Caliborn has spiked his caltop on the ground in disgust. --

> END OF ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5 INTERMISSION 3


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Latest Pages:
1/19/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/16/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/14/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/12/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/9/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/7/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/5/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/2/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/31/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
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12/26/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/24/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/22/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/19/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/17/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/15/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/12/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/10/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/8/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/5/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/3/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/1/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/28/14 - "[S][A6A6I4] ====>"
11/26/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/24/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/21/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/19/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/17/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/14/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/11/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/10/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/7/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/5/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/3/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 4"
11/1/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 4"
10/25/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 3"
10/25/14 - "[S] GAME OVER."
10/17/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 3"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"

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RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 19 January 2015 by Andrew

So what do we call this pause? I've been batting ideas around all day. We could go with the obvious choice, the MINIGIGAPAUSE. Or maybe, MEGAPAUSE 2: BACK IN THE MEGASADDLE. Or if that makes too much sense, we could always settle on the MICROTERAPAUSE. As you can see, there are so many incredibly intelligent and meaningful things we could call this pause. Deciding how to refer to the pause is an exercise that I will leave to the reader. Feel free to discuss the matter with friends. Or strangers. Anyone who will listen really. If they start to run away, I strongly recommend you chase them.

Why don't we say that A665 begins on 4/13. That's a fun number that we all can get excited about. I have a lot of catch-up work to do between now and then. Not the least of which is drawing the actual content to be posted. But also a lot of gamedev work. Game production is rolling pretty hot right now. Stuff is being churned out almost faster than I can keep track of. Did I mention? I accidentally started running a game studio a little while ago. Whoops, sorry about that. There are all these people being paid to make things happen, and I have to be like "Yeah, keep doing that stuff, everybody." It's getting pretty easy to lose track of how many people work for What Pumpkin. My last estimate was somewhere between 30 and 1000. The true figure is a very frisky moving target.

A6A6A5, a.k.a. Caliborn's Masterpiece, is actually done. It's probably better to hold off posting it until 4/13, when more content will soon follow aftewards. I am sure pausing on that note for months would mess with your head a lot more than the note we're already pausing on. I sometimes feel I have at least a modest responsibility to manage your sanity. It'll be tough sitting on this content though. Tougher than sitting on all of A664 for the better part of a year. I don't think it is out of line to describe it as the best material this website will ever exhibit. It will be all down hill from there, in every direction. Even up.

Speaking of sanity management, way back when, I was pretty on the fence about posting A664 spaced out over months like I did, vs. all at once. Doing the latter in hindsight probably would have been a fucked up thing to do to the internet though. The GAME OVER fallout alone was a bit much as it was. Including it in tandem with the rest of it? Not sure what to make of that. Let's review the CONTENT CRUSH that would have entailed. Bad Anime -> Game Over -> Sadstuck -> Lowas Quest -> 100 retconned panels of oil -> A bunch of other shit -> Punky Serket -> Fantroll Storytime -> 8 password pages -> The Kiss On Horse Mountain -> and finally -> The Punchline. You know, that's an awful lot of baloney to publish. I think the fell-swoop reaction to all that would have been quite a thing to behold, but also, perhaps an irresponsible thing to do to a hapless fanbase after a year in hibernation. I'm told that in 2015, young people are heavily susceptible to "the feels", and trifling with those forces could be injurious to their future development. Wait, did that just sound like something your grandpa would say? Mother fuck, where did I put my cane. Oh right, I snapped it in half from shaking it at the sky.

I may have been in the process of making a point there, but we're going to have to pick this up another time. The comic isn't going to pause itself!!!

Posted on 7 January 2015 by Andrew

CRITICAL HORSE ADJUSTMENT

Over the last couple months, I have been surreptitiously collapsing several update horses into single, bigger horses. This means A6A6I4 is going to end a little sooner than previously advertised. Same total page count, but finishing sooner. Please consult the important horse calendar below.



So what happens when A6A6I4 is done? I'm not quite sure yet. I'm still working on everything that comes after that. I've written it mostly, but haven't drawn anything yet. There will almost certainly be another pause, but I'm not sure how long it will be yet. I will let you know after 1/19.

Posted on 9 December 2014 by Andrew

Here is one last drop of cool stuff for you to buy before your chimneys are plundered by a mythical oaf.

A new one of these guys, who is red:


Charms!:


Cute stickers?? (yes):



Posted on 30 October 2014 by Andrew

Adventure Game Update

I am letting this one be viewable to the general public. (It will also be posted to the backer page of the Kickstarter.)



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