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ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5 INTERMISSION 5

I HATE PUPPET PEOPLE I HATE PUPPET PEOPLE I HATE PUPPET PEOPLE I HATE PUPPET PEOPLE I HATE PUPPET PEOPLE I HATE PUPPET PEOPLE I HATE PUPPET PEOPLE I HATE PUPPET PEOPLE I HATE PUPPET PEOPLE I HATE PUPPET PEOPLE I HATE PUPPET PEOPLE.
Puppet people?
PUPPET PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!
You're just calling them different things every time to bug me.
THEY ARE PUPPET PEOPLE.
Why are they puppet people?
I thought frog men was going to be your preferred headcanon.
BECAUSE THEY ARE LIKE BIG ALIVE PUPPETS.
How so?
THEIR SKIN IS SOFT.
Soft?
What do you mean.
Soft as in smooth to the touch, like a baby's behind?
NO.
MORE LIKE. FUZZY.
AND SQUISHY.
What?
LIKE PLUSH.
YOU KNOW.
LIKE A GOD DAMN PUPPET.
Hold on.
Are you telling me these fuckers are literally made of felt???
WHAT'S FELT.
It's the fabric they put on pool tables.
Kind of soft and fuzzy.
OH. THEN YES.
EXACTLY LIKE THAT.
Well that's weird.
I guess you learn something new every day.
Speaking of which, I suppose you'll want me to tell you what these two frog puppets can do?
NO!
No?
THE ABILITIES OF PURPLE STRIPE HAT. AND ORANGE STRIPE HAT.
ARE AS PLAINLY SELF EVIDENT. AS THEY ARE IDIOTIC.
Patience.
In time, you will grow to love them as if they were two very special sons.
NO WAY.
Yes you will.
I can tell you kind of like them already, but you're just pretending you don't to be cool. Like you always do with members of your dark carnival.
I notice you aren't actually trying very hard to escape from the crowd there.
Looks to me like you're enjoying your time in the puppet mosh pit, frankly.
SCREW YOU!
I'm going to tell you their powers anyway.
NO!
Purple stripe hat has an egg timer juju which makes him time travel whenever it rings.
But he's too stupid to use time travel sensibly so he ends up making way too many copies of himself.
Orange stripe hat has a magic oven which he can hide inside.
And that's it. It serves no purpose other than that. Also he's just as dumb as Eggs.
I mean purple stripe hat. Forget I called him that again.
Also pretend I didn't call the other guy Biscuits.
YOU DIDN'T CALL ANYONE BISCUITS.
I didn't?
Oh.
Damn.
Then pretend I didn't say I did.
I DON'T CARE!
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY OF THIS!
ALL OF THAT WAS OBVIOUS!
I HAVE GROWN WEARY. OF YOUR EXCESSIVE DIVULGENCES!
Yeah, my divulgences haven't been too popular lately.
I can't seem to catch a 8r8k.
A WHAT.
A 8r8k.
WHAT'S A 8R8K.
Nothing.
Just something an old flame used to say a lot.
Well, not so much an old flame as someone who callously spurned my extraordinarily inappropriate advances one time.
She really blew it though. She could have been the star again, if only she said yes.
Things are pretty passive aggressive between us now.
WOMEN. Am I right?
NO, DON'T DO THIS.
I DON'T WANT US TO BOND OVER YOUR FEMALE PROBLEMS.
STOP TRYING TO BE BROS WITH ME!
You know how it is.
Sometimes a guy just wants to take a look at what an adorable salamander is up to, and scrutinize that situation carefully.
Like really see what's going on with that, you know?
Is that so wrong.
So what if I want to watch a young salamander spend several hours naming skeletons?
It's my right to do that. I should be able to watch Bubbles name a million fucking skeletons if I want.
I should be able to do that without a spiteful attention hog stealing back the spotlight while she does something "important".
Who cares about important stuff?
Important stuff is so overrated, IMHO.
I STOPPED LISTENING!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. BECAUSE I'M NOT READING IT ANYMORE.
YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND BABBLE ALL YOU WANT. ABOUT MEANINGLESS TRASH.
I'VE TOTALLY CHECKED OUT OF THE CONVERSATION. SO BYE.
I wonder what Spades Slick is doing right now.

> END OF ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5 INTERMISSION 5


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RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 27 July 2015 by Andrew

That was the last update for a good while. I'll say more about the pause soon.

The flash: song was an old and good one by Malcolm Brown, whose name I'd hope you would be familiar with by now. Art contributed by Adrienne, Ikimaru, Guzusuru, Shelby, and Rah. Great to work with all these people again. As has always been the case, the enthusiasm for the story by all contributors really shows in the work they do, and makes the final animation result feel a lot more special than it otherwise would be. A big thanks to all these artists, along with anyone else who ever left their artistic mark on this story.

Posted on 23 July 2015 by Andrew

9828 had a song and a drawing by James Roach and Ipgd respectively. Whoa, those are respectively very very good. The doomsday screed is by this son of a bozo, and it does appear to have motivated quite a STRONG wave of selfie posting. Maybe enough to even save the website from old man Hussie? Guess we'll find out. Hmm, sure does seem like Homestuck has a lot of good lookin' readers. I must say I am impressed. I have taken quite an extensive tour through your offerings and I have yet to find an unattractive face in front of Arquiusprite's tremendous buttocks. Kudos to every single selfie-snapper for being so preposterously photogenic. Just, wow. People have got a couple tumblr archives already if you want to take a look. I don't know which of those is "better," or more exhaustive, but you know what, a little competition never killed anybody. I guess they can be like the Coke and Pepsi of this baloney ass stunt, for as long as people wanna keep pointing phones at their own faces.

Posted on 2 July 2015 by Andrew



Here is an announcement!

Starting now, We Love Fine will become the primary seller of Homestuck products. Almost everything from the What Pumpkin store will be gradually moved over to the We Love Fine store over the next few weeks. We're also working on a lot of cool new things, which will show up in the WLF store over the following months.

WLF is also running another shirt design contest this month. There were a whole lot of great entries last time, and many of them ended up getting printed. Maybe YOU have a cool idea for a shirt this time around?? I would like to see it!

In closing, I will say this. We Love Fine is a great company! I've worked with them for a couple years already. The people there are VERY enthusiastic about making great stuff for fandoms. Take a look around their site. There's a good chance you will see stuff for other properties you like as well. I'm looking forward to seeing what else they're going to make for Homestuck!



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