JOHN: i don't know.
DAVE: john dont get me wrong its cool that you randomly dropped by again but this wasnt really the best time
DAVE: we were kind of in the middle of a thing here
JOHN: whoops. sorry.
JADE: yeah john
JADE: did you really have to pick now of all times to materialize out of nowhere and taunt me?
JOHN: i'm SORRY!!!
JOHN: jeez, it was an accident!
JADE: so what now?
JADE: am i REALLY supposed to tackle you, just to watch you vanish yet again?
JOHN: no, no! please don't!
JADE: because i dont really feel like it
JADE: do you have any idea how frustrating that becomes after a while?
JOHN: i didn't mean to come here, really!
JOHN: i still can't control the jumps!
JOHN: i'm TRYING, but it just...
DAVE: dude are you time traveling
DAVE: please dont tell me youre time traveling
DAVE: you need to leave that shit to the experts
JOHN: no, it's not time travel!
JOHN: well, not technically.
DAVE: who do you think youre talking to here
DAVE: do you see this bright red gear on my hoodie
DAVE: that means i know stuff about time travel
DAVE: sure looks like youre time traveling to me
JOHN: no, i swear!
JOHN: ok, see, i went on a dream quest with some troll pirates.
DAVE: troll pirates
JOHN: argh, never mind. that's the long version of the story.
JOHN: ok, so i stuck my hand in this little magic house, and...
DAVE: john youre fucking shit up here
DAVE: you being here
DAVE: thats not supposed to happen
DAVE: all this shit were saying now
DAVE: its not supposed to go down like this i can feel it
JOHN: i know!
JOHN: i'm sorry, i would zap away again, but i don't know how!
DAVE: i dont think it matters now dude the pooch is already screwed
DAVE: wow wait that was a terrible figure of speech in this context but you know what i mean
DAVE: yo like i was JUST saying i didnt want to time travel anymore to avoid bullshit like this
JOHN: IT'S NOT TIME TRAVEL THOUGH!
JOHN: i promise!
DAVE: then what is it
JOHN: i dunno!
JOHN: like, some kind of surreal, history altering... reality hopping... magic power.
DAVE: thats time travel genius
JOHN: no way, dude.
JOHN: you have to trust me on this.
DAVE: but if it turns out you just created a doomed timeline and were all going to die im gonna be hella mad
JOHN: this isn't a doomed timeline.
JOHN: i'm telling you, i can change things.
JOHN: stuff that wasn't supposed to be changed.
JOHN: and i'm not saying bad stuff won't happen as a result of the things i change...
JOHN: but at least it won't make a doomed timeline!
JOHN: the new things that happen will just be...
JOHN: the stuff that's supposed to happen?
DAVE: thats pretty dope if true
DAVE: actually in a way that almost makes me more nervous
JOHN: it does?
DAVE: yeah messing with the alpha timeline
DAVE: i mean not the alpha timeline but the ALPHA alpha timeline
DAVE: almost seems
DAVE: heretical i guess?
DAVE: you sure you know what youre doing egbert
JOHN: um, earth to dave.
JOHN: i already said i don't have a clue what i'm doing!
DAVE: welp im sold
DAVE: but uh
DAVE: really man you kind of are interrupting a thing
DAVE: temporal mechanics not even withstanding
JOHN: what was i interrupting?
DAVE: i think this was going to be a serious conversation here
DAVE: i have a feeling jade and i were going to get all heavy with our relationship issues or whatever
JOHN: you were?
JADE: yes, unfortunately thats probably where this was going
JOHN: aw man, i'm sorry. i am fucking this up so bad.
JOHN: see, this is what i'm worried about.
JOHN: even though my random jumps are supposed to be a "safe" form of time travel, i'm still nervous that i might be ruining important events anyway.
JOHN: like, there was all this crazy stuff that happened to get us here, whether it was good or bad.
JOHN: and if i fumble around like this accidentally changing all that stuff, then i won't even know what's going on anymore.
JOHN: maybe no one will!
DAVE: does anyone even know whats going on NOW?
JOHN: that's what i'm saying!
JOHN: things are complicated enough as it is!!!
JOHN: ok, look...
JOHN: maybe we can try to minimize my impact on the current situation.
JOHN: if i fly away, do you think you can do whatever you were going to do in the first place?
JOHN: do you know what you were going to do?
JADE: i was going to kick the mayor into the lava
DAVE: holy shit so uncool
JADE: i was going to make it clear i was serious about killing someone you cared about
JADE: so you would stop being a baby and start using your powers and swordfight with me you dumb jerk :p
DAVE: jade i think you might be a little too good at being a villain its kind of worrying
JADE: thank you :)
DAVE: so the mayor would be dead if john didnt show up?
JADE: oh yes absolutely
JADE: he would be burnt to a crisp right now i am sure of it
DAVE: god damn jade
DAVE: why would you do that you know eventually id probably start using my powers and reluctantly start embracing my role as a reluctant hero
DAVE: that shit always happens
JADE: no you wouldnt you were just going to argue with me forever!
DAVE: yeah maybe
DAVE: but the point is youre not going to bother killing the mayor anymore are you
JADE: i guess not
JADE: he is a very cute mayor after all
DAVE: see john your fake time travel shit is already paying off
DAVE: you saved the mayor congratulations
JOHN: ok, i'm glad the mayor is alive and well.
JOHN: but this is exactly what i wanted to avoid!
JOHN: isn't there some way you could just...
JOHN: pretend i never showed up, and let this play out the way it was supposed to?
JADE: sorry john
JADE: whatever dave and i were going to argue about
JADE: i think the moment has passed
JADE: the whole thing is kind of ruined to be honest
JOHN: DAMN IT!
DAVE: ok all yall settle down im getting a text
DAVE: i cant fucking read this