WORTHLESS GARBAGE.     STUPID. | WHO CARES?     WOW. | NO. | BORING.     OVERPRICED TRASH. | DUMB NOISE.     MORONS. | BULLSHIT. | WHATEVER.

MALE: GO OPEN THAT CHEST.

AND I TELL MY PUPPET WHAT TO DO. BY TYPING ORDERS IN THE THING. WHILE PRETENDING THAT *YOU* ARE TYPING THEM. IT IS A DISINGENUOUS RUSE AT BEST. TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE GUIDING MY PUPPET. WHILE ALSO BIZARRELY INSISTING THAT YOU *ARE* THE PUPPET, BY CALLING HIM YOU. I UNSUCCESSFULLY STRIVE TO IMMERSE YOU IN AN EXPERIENCE. THAT NO ONE WITH A BRAIN. COULD EVER CONCEIVABLY WISH TO PARTICIPATE IN REGARDLESS.

BUT IN THE END. THE JOKE OF IT ALL IS. IT'S JUST ME TELLING MYSELF WHAT TO DO WITH MY PUPPET. AND THEN DOING IT. YOU WILL AGREE THIS IS THE HEIGHT OF CREATIVE SELF INDULGENCE.

IN FACT, FOR ME TO EVEN BE MOCKING THE PRACTICE. ALMOST FEELS. INCESTUOUSLY MASTURBATORY.

(EVEN THOUGH THAT IS A REDUNDANT PHRASE FOR CHERUBS...)

> MALE: HIDE INSIDE CHEST.


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RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 15 December 2016 by Andrew

If you'd like to help greenlight Hiveswap on Steam, make sure to go vote for it here.

And if by some chance voting for this game's right to be distributed in this manner isn't enough to satisfy your desire to become truly one with the Hiveswap brand, may I recommend you browse this enticing array of preemptively available merchandise. (Here too.) I'm going to be perfectly candid with you here. If you haven't achieved absolute Brand Loyalty to this game before it comes out, you will probably suck at it. You've been warned.

Posted on 22 October 2016 by Andrew

Just going to leave this here for now, and assume that the kids these days will know what to do with it.

Posted on 12 June 2016 by Andrew

The final Homestuck album Volume 10 has been released. More fantastic music by many familiar names who have contributed to the comic over the years. Thanks to all who came together to make this. It's a great way to cap off an impressive discography, now standing at 27 albums.