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I THINK I'VE BEEN FORCED TO UNLOCK THESE SCREENS. AND VIEW THESE POINTLESS EVENTS. LONG ENOUGH.
MY QUEST IS DUMB. I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO GET ON WITH THE REAL ADVENTURE.
Has it occurred to you that your quest in its limitless tedium and thankless busywork was designed to facilitate your personal growth?
To prepare you for your ultimate destiny beyond this game?
NO.
ANYWAY DIDN'T YOU SAY ONE TIME. I WAS INCAPABLE OF GROWING???
Oh right.
Well, has it occurred to you that it might have been designed to fuck with your head and serve as a punishment for being such a horrible little shit?
YES!!!
YES.
THAT OCCURS TO ME. EVERY SECOND I THINK ABOUT IT.
I HAVE TOLERATED MANY AGGRAVATIONS.
AND AM PREPARED TO TOLERATE MANY MORE.
IF IT GETS ME CLOSER TO TRIUMPHING OVER YOU AND THIS MORONIC GAME.
I WILL FIND MORE KEYS UNDER RANDOM ASS UNLABELED STONES.
I WILL WATCH ANOTHER MILLION HOURS OF NUMBSKULLS WHIMPERING ABOUT THEIR ROMANCE NOT COMING TRUE.
I WILL EVEN ENDURE MORE OF THESE PATENTLY LUDICROUS ACT ACT ACT ACT ACT ACTS EVEN THOUGH THEY APPEAR TO MEAN NOTHING AT ALL.
BUT WHAT I WILL NOT STAND FOR.
IS GOING.
FUCKING.
BACKWARDS!!!
Fair enough.
But I already told you how to accelerate your viewing.
WHAT? WHEN.
See those two panes of glass there?
Take your crowbar and smash them.
OH. YEAH.
UGH. I FORGOT.
IS THAT REALLY THE ONLY WAY. TO GO TO WHAT'S NEXT.
SO THAT I CAN PUT MY PLANS IN MOTION?
Yes.
You should be pleased by the irony.
Smashing the glass will cause you to reflect upon a lifetime you have yet to spend...
Um.
Breaking stuff.
???
Is the irony not fucking delicious?
NO.
STOP TRYING TO BOGART MY SCHTICK. OF PLAYING INSIDIOUS MIND GAMES AND DOING SHITTY TWISTS.
YOU SUCK AT IT SO BAD.
I'm sorry.
IT'S NOT BREAKING THE GLASS I MIND.
THIS IS THE THING THAT INVOLVES.
*SHUDDER*
"TEAM WORK"
RIGHT?
Yes.
You and a buddy have to turn both keys simultaneously.
It will teach you a wonderful lesson about life.
FUCK!
Don't act like you aren't secretly having a great time there with your new friends.
You are practically the ringmaster of your own little dark carnival by now.
And you're loving every minute of it. Don't deny it.
NO I'M NOT!
Sooner or later you will have to face the fact that literally all adventures are about learning the value of teamwork.
Teamwork and friendship. The two razor sharp edges of the mighty excalibur which EVERY hero should keep in his scabbard.
Even shitty heroes like you.
FINE. I'LL DO IT.
BUT ONLY BECAUSE THE ALTERNATIVE. WHERE I TALK TO YOU. FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND.
WOULD BE SO MUCH WORSE.
-- The narrative prompt has been locked. --

> Caliborn: Break glass.


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RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 2 July 2015 by Andrew



Here is an announcement!

Starting now, We Love Fine will become the primary seller of Homestuck products. Almost everything from the What Pumpkin store will be gradually moved over to the We Love Fine store over the next few weeks. We're also working on a lot of cool new things, which will show up in the WLF store over the following months.

WLF is also running another shirt design contest this month. There were a whole lot of great entries last time, and many of them ended up getting printed. Maybe YOU have a cool idea for a shirt this time around?? I would like to see it!

In closing, I will say this. We Love Fine is a great company! I've worked with them for a couple years already. The people there are VERY enthusiastic about making great stuff for fandoms. Take a look around their site. There's a good chance you will see stuff for other properties you like as well. I'm looking forward to seeing what else they're going to make for Homestuck!

Posted on 2 June 2015 by Andrew
Posted on 22 April 2015 by Andrew

BEHOLD, THE HORSE CALENDARS



As you can see, it is a pretty swift horse schedule, with a couple of horseless weeks mixed in there. You may recall my mnemonic device for remembering the previous M/W/F schedule of Monhay, Wedsneigh, and Frihorse. Now we can add two more to help you remember, Tuesnort, and Thursclop. I understand this comic can get confusing sometimes, so you are definitely going to need those to help guide you on the rest of this journey.

All pages for the above horses have already been drawn. I still have a batch of pages to draw to round out A6A6I5, but not as many as I have already done. I hope that you like it when characters in stories talk to one another, because there's an awful lot of that to come. Please stand by patiently and enthusiastically as my fake teens sit around bullshitting to the bitter end. Then a bunch of cool stuff will happen, and that will be that!



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