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1/19/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/16/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/14/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/12/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/9/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/7/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/5/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
1/2/15 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/31/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/29/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/26/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/24/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/22/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/19/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/17/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/15/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/12/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/10/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/8/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/5/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/3/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
12/1/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/28/14 - "[S][A6A6I4] ====>"
11/26/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/24/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/21/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/19/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/17/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/14/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/11/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/10/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/7/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/5/14 - "[A6A6I4] ====>"
11/3/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 4"
11/1/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 4"
10/25/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 3"
10/25/14 - "[S] GAME OVER."
10/17/14 - "ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 3"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"
10/16/13 - "[A6A6I2] ====>"

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Adventure Log

View newest to oldest

06/03/07 - "Start Jailbreak Adventure"
06/03/07 - "Attempt to pry open window."
06/03/07 - "Graft pumpkin to yourself so that you have one hideous arm"
06/03/07 - "Grow two muscular arms with which the manhandle the key"
06/03/07 - "Look for keyhole"
06/04/07 - "Throw the key down to that guy so he can open that door"
06/04/07 - "Loudly tell that guy to pick up key and try it on the door."
06/04/07 - "Pee out the window in an attempt to bring him back"
06/04/07 - "Open door"
06/04/07 - "Do a dance"
06/04/07 - "Knock on door."
06/04/07 - "Ask dungeon master if there is one fucking way out of room"
06/04/07 - "Examine floor"
06/04/07 - "Say hello to the pumpkin"
06/04/07 - "Search room thoroughly for pumpkin"
06/04/07 - "Throw shoe at key"
06/04/07 - "Rub key on chest."
06/04/07 - "Go through door."
06/04/07 - "Use key on door."
06/04/07 - "Pretend broken ladder is broken train track"
06/04/07 - "Use ladder as battering ram"
06/04/07 - "Talk to the guy in the jail cell"
06/04/07 - "Ignore all future input from betelgeuse"
06/04/07 - "Turn long ladder into stilts"
06/04/07 - "Hook key to the end of ladder and extend it to jail cell guy"
06/04/07 - "Make clay from dirt and pee, use it to glue ladder into pole"
06/04/07 - "Hook key to ladder and extend to jail cell guy"
06/04/07 - "Toss the contraption into the air to give it added lift"
06/04/07 - "Drill a hole in the floor."
06/04/07 - "Sing 'malaguena'"
06/04/07 - "hollow out pumpkin, wear as helmet in case ceiling collapses"
06/04/07 - "Keep singing until guy drills through floor"
06/04/07 - "Serenade the guy about how you want the key"
06/04/07 - "Spit pee at man out the window."
06/04/07 - "BARF!"
06/04/07 - "Check on knocked out guard"
06/04/07 - "Try waking him by peeing on him"
06/04/07 - "Leap over him in a desperate bid for freedom."
06/04/07 - "Eat the pumpkin."
06/04/07 - "Use guards pants to lasso keys through the opening in door"
06/04/07 - "Use guard as battering ram on door"
06/04/07 - "Apologize to guard's body"
06/04/07 - ">status"
06/04/07 - ">unpause"
06/04/07 - "Drill through the floor"
06/04/07 - "Poke head through hole and wave."
06/04/07 - "Wave legs in the air"
06/04/07 - "Proceed."
06/04/07 - "Daub pictures of naked ladies on the wall with blood."
06/04/07 - "Drill hole through door"
06/04/07 - "Drill through the wall right next to the door."
06/04/07 - "Continue to enjoy Hunk Rump"
06/04/07 - "Command Logorg to dance"
06/04/07 - "Use logorg as a battering ram to open the door"
06/04/07 - "Put your brain inside Logorg's head."
06/04/07 - "Wreck(Reek?) havoc"
06/04/07 - "Make a little love."
06/04/07 - "Sacrifice your soul to the heathen gods."
06/04/07 - "Rebuild logorg"
06/04/07 - "Get down tonight."
06/04/07 - "Get a bachelor's degree in robotics"
06/04/07 - "Examine that rope-like object"
06/04/07 - "With great prescience, move away from end of the intestine"
06/04/07 - "Make a robot out of that guy"
06/04/07 - "Cry."
06/04/07 - "Pause"
06/04/07 - "Unpause"
06/04/07 - "Climb intestine"
06/04/07 - "Clean the place up a bit."
06/04/07 - "Eat whatever is in the hole"
06/04/07 - "Dig deeper! Search for Prime Minister's gold hookers"
06/04/07 - "Ease head out of hole."
06/04/07 - "Carve holes for mouth and eyes"
06/04/07 - "Go to window to show off new helmet"
06/04/07 - "Greet him"
06/04/07 - "Ask man to throw intestine up to you"
06/04/07 - "Be the other guy."
06/04/07 - "Drill through door"
06/04/07 - "Place head on "X""
06/04/07 - "Open pumpkin and cuddle whatever is inside!"
06/04/07 - "Check that door to see if it is locked."
06/04/07 - "Build pumpkin-armour."
06/04/07 - "Return to the courtyard to show off new suit."
06/04/07 - "Greet him"
06/04/07 - "Use intestine like scarf / Climb intestine"
06/04/07 - "Eat the pumpkin portions just cut out of the head-pumpkin"
06/04/07 - "Play the get out of jail free card"
06/04/07 - "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO THROUGH THE DOOR!!"
06/04/07 - "Carve the pumpkin into a surprised face!"
06/04/07 - "Put it in the sad recess"
06/04/07 - "Drink as much as you can as fast as you can."
06/04/07 - "Plug up the hole with a pumpkin."
06/04/07 - "Carve pumpkins to match faces on the wall and put them in"
06/04/07 - "Oh shit"
06/04/07 - "Bring the gun along in case you have to off yourself."
06/04/07 - "Jump out the window."
06/04/07 - "Try to climb up the rope thing."
06/04/07 - "Survey surroundings, possibly sneaking a bite of ambergris"
06/04/07 - "Use harpoon to get across to building and shoot down hole"
06/04/07 - "Pull lever and reel in the harpoon"
06/04/07 - "Apologize to the man."
06/04/07 - "ask harpooned man where rest of the few thousand pieces are"
06/04/07 - "Climb down ladder and randomly press buttons on panel"
06/04/07 - "Take off helmet and use it for flotation. Flip switch again"
06/04/07 - "POINT HUGEIFIER AT PUMPKINHEAD AND ACTIVATE"
06/04/07 - "Look around and thank guy for quick thinking with harpoon"
06/04/07 - "Load gun and fire at stump, while singing King Henry V"
06/04/07 - "Grab the other guy's hand and run off into the forest"
06/04/07 - "Continue"
06/04/07 - "turn around."
06/04/07 - "Using key, carve spell into pumpkin invoking elves and such"
06/04/07 - "Using key, carve spell into stomach invoking elves and such"
06/04/07 - "Recite spell while spilling blood, invoking elves and such"
06/04/07 - "With your trusty Hunk's Junk magazine, forge a sword"
06/04/07 - "Strike the elf."
06/04/07 - "Offer the elf a baby in exchange for one wish."
06/04/07 - "Ask for a pony. Ask for second wish by promising twin babies"
06/04/07 - "Wish to get out of jail, then trample the elf with the pony."
06/04/07 - "Cut open the horse to sleep inside for the cold night"
06/04/07 - "Cast fireball at bungalow, so you stay extra warm tonight"
06/04/07 - "Dig up stump"
06/04/07 - "Go on a hunt for children to repay the elf for his kindness."
06/04/07 - "Give bus of children to elves so you can go inside"
06/04/07 - "Tie kids together with the horse and use as battering ram"
06/04/07 - "Throw two kids in the chimney. Maybe it'll smoke out elves"
06/04/07 - "Continue your downward spiral of mental instability"
06/04/07 - "invite the horse, children and madman in for tea party"
06/04/07 - "Enact Total War: set house on fire and flee east to Moscow"
06/04/07 - "Use magical prowess to summon Moscovite elves."
06/04/07 - "Use runes to commune with pony and feed it a majyyk'd carrot"
06/04/07 - "bite off your own leg and use it to play fetch with the pony"
06/04/07 - "First, be the pony. Second, trample the children and the man"
06/04/07 - "With elf powers, order the pony to trample children and man"




RSS: Adventure Updates

Posted on 19 January 2015 by Andrew

So what do we call this pause? I've been batting ideas around all day. We could go with the obvious choice, the MINIGIGAPAUSE. Or maybe, MEGAPAUSE 2: BACK IN THE MEGASADDLE. Or if that makes too much sense, we could always settle on the MICROTERAPAUSE. As you can see, there are so many incredibly intelligent and meaningful things we could call this pause. Deciding how to refer to the pause is an exercise that I will leave to the reader. Feel free to discuss the matter with friends. Or strangers. Anyone who will listen really. If they start to run away, I strongly recommend you chase them.

Why don't we say that A665 begins on 4/13. That's a fun number that we all can get excited about. I have a lot of catch-up work to do between now and then. Not the least of which is drawing the actual content to be posted. But also a lot of gamedev work. Game production is rolling pretty hot right now. Stuff is being churned out almost faster than I can keep track of. Did I mention? I accidentally started running a game studio a little while ago. Whoops, sorry about that. There are all these people being paid to make things happen, and I have to be like "Yeah, keep doing that stuff, everybody." It's getting pretty easy to lose track of how many people work for What Pumpkin. My last estimate was somewhere between 30 and 1000. The true figure is a very frisky moving target.

A6A6A5, a.k.a. Caliborn's Masterpiece, is actually done. It's probably better to hold off posting it until 4/13, when more content will soon follow aftewards. I am sure pausing on that note for months would mess with your head a lot more than the note we're already pausing on. I sometimes feel I have at least a modest responsibility to manage your sanity. It'll be tough sitting on this content though. Tougher than sitting on all of A664 for the better part of a year. I don't think it is out of line to describe it as the best material this website will ever exhibit. It will be all down hill from there, in every direction. Even up.

Speaking of sanity management, way back when, I was pretty on the fence about posting A664 spaced out over months like I did, vs. all at once. Doing the latter in hindsight probably would have been a fucked up thing to do to the internet though. The GAME OVER fallout alone was a bit much as it was. Including it in tandem with the rest of it? Not sure what to make of that. Let's review the CONTENT CRUSH that would have entailed. Bad Anime -> Game Over -> Sadstuck -> Lowas Quest -> 100 retconned panels of oil -> A bunch of other shit -> Punky Serket -> Fantroll Storytime -> 8 password pages -> The Kiss On Horse Mountain -> and finally -> The Punchline. You know, that's an awful lot of baloney to publish. I think the fell-swoop reaction to all that would have been quite a thing to behold, but also, perhaps an irresponsible thing to do to a hapless fanbase after a year in hibernation. I'm told that in 2015, young people are heavily susceptible to "the feels", and trifling with those forces could be injurious to their future development. Wait, did that just sound like something your grandpa would say? Mother fuck, where did I put my cane. Oh right, I snapped it in half from shaking it at the sky.

I may have been in the process of making a point there, but we're going to have to pick this up another time. The comic isn't going to pause itself!!!

Posted on 7 January 2015 by Andrew

CRITICAL HORSE ADJUSTMENT

Over the last couple months, I have been surreptitiously collapsing several update horses into single, bigger horses. This means A6A6I4 is going to end a little sooner than previously advertised. Same total page count, but finishing sooner. Please consult the important horse calendar below.



So what happens when A6A6I4 is done? I'm not quite sure yet. I'm still working on everything that comes after that. I've written it mostly, but haven't drawn anything yet. There will almost certainly be another pause, but I'm not sure how long it will be yet. I will let you know after 1/19.

Posted on 9 December 2014 by Andrew

Here is one last drop of cool stuff for you to buy before your chimneys are plundered by a mythical oaf.

A new one of these guys, who is red:


Charms!:


Cute stickers?? (yes):



Posted on 30 October 2014 by Andrew

Adventure Game Update

I am letting this one be viewable to the general public. (It will also be posted to the backer page of the Kickstarter.)



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