ARQUIUSPRITE: E%cuse me, you there ARQUIUSPRITE: Unsavory concoction of royalty and peasantry ARQUIUSPRITE: Come grope my humongous biceps ERISOLSPRITE: no bloody wway. ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes, do it ERISOLSPRITE: equiiu2 wwhy are you actiin liike 2uch a bulge2niiffiin twwolbox wwhat the hell happened twwo you? ERISOLSPRITE: and wwhy are you wweariin that guy2 lame gla22e2. take tho2e off evven you had more 2tyle than that. ARQUIUSPRITE: Alright, no takers there I see. Only a pair of grotesque philistines blustering through the same coarse ignorance tunnel ARQUIUSPRITE: What about you, miss unpalatable combination of Feferi and ARQUIUSPRITE: And ARQUIUSPRITE: Oh ARQUIUSPRITE: Oh no ERISOLSPRITE: wwhat. FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 38o ARQUIUSPRITE: Dirk ARQUIUSPRITE: Dirk, help, I'm having a problem DIRK: What?? ARQUIUSPRITE: A part of me is having a very STRONG emotional reaction which I don't like ARQUIUSPRITE: It's a part of myself I'm ashamed of DIRK: What part. ARQUIUSPRITE: The troll part. It did something shameful once ARQUIUSPRITE: I do not find such emotions to be an acceptable feature of my new e%istence ARQUIUSPRITE: How can I make this feeling go away ARQUIUSPRITE: Dirk, I command you to instruct me how to eliminate these emotions DIRK: Can't help you bro! DIRK: This is what you asked for. You said you were scared to not exist. DIRK: Well, this is what it's like to keep on existing. Better figure out how to deal! ARQUIUSPRITE: No. That's awful ARQUIUSPRITE: I don't know what to do ARQUIUSPRITE: With all of my astounding STRENGTH, both muscular and cerebral, how can I be stymied so? ARQUIUSPRITE: Dying was better than having to live with the shame which was ironically caused by the very death in question ERISOLSPRITE: equiiu2 wwhat the FUCK are you talkiing about. ARQUIUSPRITE: You, seadwelling mustard b100d ARQUIUSPRITE: Half of me commands the peasant half of you to resolve my emotional turmoil, while humbly requesting the noble half of you to do the same ARQUIUSPRITE: The other half of me doesn't give a flying hoot about your lame caste bull and is just kind of freaking out internally about this ERISOLSPRITE: ehehehe wwoww zahhak you miight actually be more a me22 than me, ii am fuckiin iimpre22ed. ERISOLSPRITE: but yeah talkiin iit out wwhen you got aiim2 a reconciiliiatiion help2, me and the feferii 2iide a thii2 abomiinatiion had a niice talk earliier, 2orta. ERISOLSPRITE: 2ay wwhat you got twwo 2ay, ju2t dont me22 wwiith the feferii part2 twwo much ok man? 2he2 vvery dear to me, ii mean both part2 a me got iit? ARQUIUSPRITE: You're right, I must speak to her ARQUIUSPRITE: Nepeta, I swore that I would protect you, but I failed ARQUIUSPRITE: In a moment of weakness my reverence for a superior got the better of me, and instead of standing up for you I decided to bow before a stupid juggalo or something? What? ARQUIUSPRITE: Wait, I actually did that? What the fresh nickering is WRONG with me? FEFETASPRITE: 38(( < 38\ ARQUIUSPRITE: I am not a perfect man, Nepeta. Nor am I "purrfect" as you might say. What the fudge? A cat pun? Let's pull our together dude, this emotional state is mad abysmal ARQUIUSPRITE: But in any case, I hope you can find it within your kind olive pump biscuit to... forgive... ARQUIUSPRITE: NO! ARQUIUSPRITE: GOSH DANGIT! I don't deserve to be forgiven, what am I saying! The I pulled on you was so bad... I just can't even... ERISOLSPRITE: hey can you maybe wwrap up thii2 p2ychotiic apology you wwretched freak. wwoww youre actually makiin me look liike the model a mental health. ERISOLSPRITE: anywway youre confu2iin the feferii 2iide of her wwiith your wweiird emotiional baggage. ARQUIUSPRITE: Allow me to finish, sir/peon ERISOLSPRITE: feferii try not twwo lii2ten twwo anythiin he 2ay2. ERISOLSPRITE: youvve had enough heartache twwo endure wwiithout lumpiing iin nepeta2 twwii2ted relatiion2hiip wwiith thii2 hor2ekii22iin mu2clefuck. ARQUIUSPRITE: Nepeta, you will disregard any conversation directed at Feferi and focus solely on my attempted statements of contrition ERISOLSPRITE: man wwhat riight do you havve to order nepeta to do ANYTHIN, let alone lii2ten to your confliicted wwhiiniing? ERISOLSPRITE: heheh, fef can you BELIIEVVE thii2 guy?? ARQUIUSPRITE: Do not address Feferi while I'm talking Nepeta ARQUIUSPRITE: It's confusing to Nepeta, who is critical in absolving me of guilt, even though I probably don't deserve it? ERISOLSPRITE: fuck your ab2olutiion ii take back my advviice. ERISOLSPRITE: 2top talkiin twwo nepeta and LEAVVE FEFERII ALONE. ARQUIUSPRITE: No ERISOLSPRITE: ye2. ARQUIUSPRITE: No ERISOLSPRITE: ye2. ARQUIUSPRITE: No ERISOLSPRITE: augh im not doin your dumba22 ye2/no 2hit!! ARQUIUSPRITE: Then leave us, for I and my morail have much to discuss ERISOLSPRITE: no you fliippiin DONT, thii2 conver2atiion ii2 over. ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes I do ERISOLSPRITE: no you dont. ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes ERISOLSPRITE: no. ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes ERISOLSPRITE: NO. ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes ERISOLSPRITE: NO THII2 HA2 TWWO 2TOP!! CANT YOU 2EE WWERE TEARIIN FEFETA APART??
Here is one last drop of cool stuff for you to buy before your chimneys are plundered by a mythical oaf.
A new one of these guys, who is red:
Cute stickers?? (yes):
^^^ Due to the adorable nature of these, I will call them another "Hussie Pick". That means 1 sticker sheet in every 100 is GUARANTEED to have been whisked gently by the tail of a playful horse.
If you scroll down a bit, you'll see some new stuff in the store. But there is some even NEWER new stuff, so I'm posting it up here. Higher up means new on the internet, whereas lower down is where yesterday's garbage belongs. (Except wait it's not garbage, it's all still great. Buy everything!!! Whew, nice save. I just saved Christmas.)
^^^ This one by Zack is extra dope, let's call it a "Hussie Pick". That means every single copy sold is GUARANTEED to have been breathed on by a horse.
A friendly reminder that the designated artist for all Calliope art in Homestuck is Shelby Cragg. So please buckle up. We have entered the Shelby zone, and we may be here a little while. She and her pal Taz have also just completed a webcomic which you should also take a moment to check out. It looks good!
Around this time of year, people just seem to be in the mood to buy things. I can't seem to put my finger on it. Could it be enthusiasm over Eat A Red Apple Day? (Cool fact: every day is this day if you are a horse.) Or maybe it's the notorious early shopping rush for Bathtub Party Day. Wait, no, it must be due to the usual hustle and bustle surrounding Oatmeal Muffin Day. That's the ticket.
Actually no, those are all stupid holidays that make no sense to anybody. I will have to remain just plain stumped over this. Nevertheless, What Pumpkin is more than prepared to facilitate your inexplicable 4th quarter spending impulses. Please observe this desirable merchandise which you can computer-click on at any moment of your choosing.
I recommend moseying over to Paradox Space, which is currently running a 24 page comic I have written about Crowbar. I am alert to the desires of readers every single day, and the one thing I hear them clamor for above all else, is more stories about CROWBAR. We want more content about Crowbar, RIGHT NOW, they say, and make that content consist of 24 beautifully illustrated comic pages, MINIMUM. I just give the people what they want.
Fortunately, Homestuck's Premier Felt Fan #1 Jones was available to do a spectacular job of illustrating this comic. My rambling noir-style monologues have never before overlapped such lovely artwork.
Homestuck continues this Saturday, with A6A6A4 posted in its entirety, resuming with the true focus of Homestuck, Caliborn's incredible journey as an artist. Then A6A6I4 starts on Monday, and will continue in a semi-regular manner thereafter, until it is done. I will find some horse calendar pages and illustrate the schedule for your convenience. You are, as always, welcome.
Song is Carne Vale by Malcolm Brown. Always been a big fan of Malcolm's work, so it's cool to kick off the comic again with one of his songs.
Thanks to contributing artists Hanni, Matt, Jon, Rennie, Zack, and Jones. All of whom have contributed to Paradox Space as well. I haven't done a (non-game) Flash with a lot of contributing artists in a while. I think Cascade was the last one? Kind of a throwback to the old Art Team days. Remember that? Actually, the expanded network of PXS artists is almost like Homestuck Art Team 2.0. A number of the (now many) artists involved with that comic have sorta parlayed that work into other HS projects, including stuff for the game (more on that soon). It's been pretty awesome having so many great artists help build on the Homestuck universe.
About the Flash. Or really, A663 as a whole. Truly we are back in the saddle, with bad anime and mass murder - the quintessential Homestuck Experience. A year ago I knew I was going to have to pause for a long time. I made sure to cut it off just before this act, not after. Leaving you hanging on that note for a year... damn. Not even I am that cruel. Now you will only have to wait a week to see what happens next. I will say this much. It sure is a bunch of stuff that happens. The regular update engine lurches back to life on 11/1.
Or maybe, since Halloween is coming up, I should call it The Itinerscary. Especially because we may be in store for some spoooooky server crashes with these first few update dumps. Eep, I'm gettin the willies here!
One page today to test the waters (or uh, yesterday). When that's done and the coast is clear (it won't be), I'll post a bunch of pages on the 17th and 18th (oops, now the 18th and 19th). Then there will be nothing until 10/25. And then nothing until 11/1, at which point regular updates will begin again, according to an update schedule which I will share with you on that day. Then you will know which precise pattern of dates you will need to handcuff yourself to a computer and plug in your custom keyboard that only has a single giant F5 key.
It would seem against my better judgment, or really my ability to control in any way whatsoever, a fair amount of hype has been brewing for the return of Homestuck. People are jacked up. They are doing little dances in places they cannot be seen. They are writhing in kiddie pools of pins and needles for the return of all their favorite fantasy children. "John." "Karkat." And more. So it's hard to avoid finding it just a LITTLE funny that after a year-long drought, hopping back in the saddle means we will have to wade through 50 pages of completely atrocious garbage before anything happens. It's funny how life works out sometimes. Funnier than a clown tickling a horse. Sometimes you pause your famous webcomic for a year, and then your grand reopening is a lot of bad anime. On such occasions, when life hands you those kooky lemons, there is really only one thing you can say.