-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] --
CG: IT'S ME AGAIN, ASSHOLE CG: THE ONE WHO HATES YOU, REMEMBER? CG: OR SHOULD I SAY FUTURE-REMEMBER??? EB: karkat!!!!!!!!!! CG: AGAIN WITH KNOWING MY NAME CG: IT'S REALLY FUCKING UNSETTLING WHEN YOU DO THAT. CG: I WONDER HOW FAR BACK YOU KNOW IT CG: I'M GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE A SPECIAL POINT OF NOT BEING THE ONE TO TELL YOU, I DON'T WANT TO GIVE YOU THE SATISFACTION. EB: hey, shut up a second! EB: i need you to be nice for a change and do me a favor... EB: have you talked to jade recently? EB: can you tell me what happened to her?? CG: WHO THE FUCK IS JADE. EB: uh... EB: hmm. CG: JOHN, THE FACT THAT YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO THINK I CAN READ YOUR MIND JUST UNDERSCORES WHAT A HARROWING GODDAMN IDIOT YOU ARE. EB: jade is the girl who i am pretty sure just entered our session. EB: she is my client player. CG: OH, YOU MEAN THE ONE WHO FUCKS EVERYTHING UP. EB: um, yeah... i thought you knew that? you talked to her a bunch of times, apparently. CG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW THAT. CG: THIS IS ONLY THE SECOND TIME I HAVE EVER TALKED TO A HUMAN. CG: AND THE FIRST TIME, MUCH TO MY MIGRAINE COMPOUNDING REGRET, WAS WITH YOU. EB: oh! EB: ok, i see what is going on here. EB: we are finally getting to our first couple of conversations. cool! CG: NO, NOT "COOL". CG: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE IS VERY MUCH ANTITHETICAL TO YOUR PRIMITIVE HUMAN NOTION OF "EARTH COOL". CG: YOU SEE, IN OUR FIRST CONVERSATION, WE DIDN'T EXACTLY GET OFF ON THE RIGHT FOOT. CG: IT IS A FOOT WHICH SHOULD HAVE REEKED OF YOUR VERBAL RUINATION. CG: BUT INSTEAD IT SMELLED LIKE CG: WELL, LET'S NOT GET INTO THAT. CG: I AM HERE TO DO WHAT YOU AND YOUR PATHETIC CADRE OF CO-HUMANS FAILED TO DO, WHICH IS SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT. CG: I AM HERE TO UTTERLY ANNIHILATE YOUR SHIT. CG: I WILL STAY ON MESSAGE THIS TIME. I WILL NOT BE DETERRED BY YOUR GOOFY MANNERISMS AND YOUR ABSURD PENCHANT FOR REVELING IN SELF ABUSE. CG: WE WILL GET OFF ON A FRESH FOOT, AND BY FRESH I MEAN MOST FOUL INDEED. CG: ITS TOES ARE WIGGLING UNDER YOUR HIDEOUS PINK NOSTRILS. NOW BREATHE DEEP YOUR MISFORTUNE, YOU SAD LITTLE CLOWN. CG: THIS IS THE END OF YOU. THAT AROMA YOU DETECT WAFTS FROM THE BOUQUET PERCHED ON YOUR CORPSE BOX. CG: NOBODY CRIES, EXCEPT YOUR SHITTY GHOST. HEAVY SOBS FROM A SPECTER OF UNQUALIFIED FAILURE. CG: IT IS A SYMPHONY TO MY ANGRY EARS. EB: so... the smell is from a foot... but also from funeral flowers? EB: this metaphor is confusing. CG: STFU CG: I'M ONLY GETTING STARTED. EB: yeah, i know! EB: this is all that big time trolling i was looking forward to. EB: and it's pretty good so far, and ordinarily i would be excited to hear more... CG: YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN??? CG: YOU ARE ACTUALLY ENJOYING THIS, WHAT A SICK FUCK. EB: but i really am concerned about what happened with jade! EB: my request for a favor still stands, even though this is early you, and you still think you hate me. CG: DON'T QUESTION THE SINCERITY OF MY HATE, JUST DON'T EVEN FUCKING GO THERE. EB: ok, fine! you hate me sooooo much, like, for real. EB: can you just tell me what's up with jade? EB: can you see her? CG: YEAH I SEE HER CG: IT'S MAKING ME MAD SEEING HER EB: can you tell me what happened? what did she do that was so bad? CG: HAHAHAHAHAHA CG: HERE I AM TALKING TO YOU MOMENTS AFTER YOU DID THE TERRIBLE THING, AND YOU STILL DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU DID! CG: INCREDIBLE, YOU TRULY ARE DUMBER THAN I THOUGHT. EB: ok!!! i'm an idiot! can you just tell me anyway???? EB: whoa... CG: WHAT EB: the ground is shaking... EB: what's going on? CG: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING ON. CG: WHAT YOU FUCKING DID IS WHAT'S GOING ON. EB: so tell me what i fucking did!!! CG: OH, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU FUCKING DID? EB: yes! EB: please, no more stalling or "i already told you's" or any other maddening nonsense! EB: just... EB: TELL ME! CG: VERY WELL, JOHN HUMAN EGBERT. CG: I WILL TELL YOU WHAT YOU DID CG: READY FOR ME TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU DID? CG: HERE'S ME, TELLING YOU WHAT YOU DID CG: OK, HERE GOES CG: WHAT YOU DID IS AS FOLLOWS CG: AS SUCH CG: AND THUSLY EB: :|
I've been thinking this over for the last few weeks, and I've decided now is the best time to suspend all regular updates until I've finished the story, rather than pausing just before I start on the final animation. When I'm done, I'll post it all at once. There are a lot of reasons why I think this is the best strategy.
Primarily, it's about efficiency, and being able to work on the remaining (and likely the most difficult parts) of the story without distractions, or the added challenge of having to crank out the next serial update as fast as possible, which means I always have to stay totally linear with the work. This way I can produce the rest of it more comprehensively, prepare animation assets in advance, do more stuff in parallel, etc. It will go faster. And ultimately, I think it'll read better as one thing, rather than as a sequence tortuously spread out over time, as has been the norm for years. I think it's close enough to the end now to safely retire Homestuck as a serial reading experience. There's nothing to be gained from that presentation anymore, in my view. It's just time to bear down and get it done.
I guess we're breaking for a long time on a big cliffhanger, but there's no way around that. Actually, pausing at any point later would probably be even worse, as it keeps pushing into endgame territory. That's why I'm stopping now instead of later. With such a big readership, the reactions will only get crazier, and the demand for new updates will get more intense. Over time, knowing so many people are slamming refresh many times per day starts to be more of an omnipresent distraction than anything. I think there is sort of a perception that I am creatively feeding off the hysteria surrounding the comic, but on a very practical level this is not true. Creating entertainment is not really a lifestyle of madcap shenanigans. It is a very sober, often dull process that requires a huge amount of time and concentration. It will be better to disarm the hype machine while I get the hard stuff done.
So what is the itinerary? Need to finish A663 through A666, and then A7. Keep in mind that these sub acts can be literally any length, even onepage. There's a good bit of ground to cover, but most of the effort will be tied up in animation chores.
I don't really have a time estimate here, and am not sure there's any real advantage in coming up with one. It'll just be a while. I also have to allocate some time to work on the Kickstarter game. That didn't stop being a thing I have to do. It's coming along. I'll probably have a more substantive update on that before the end of the year. There hasn't been much to report yet since it's mostly been in a high level planning and writing phase. And firming up tons of legal minutiae. Stuff like that.
But I will say there is something new to watch out for next month. Kind of a secret project I'm involved with, unrelated to MSPA or the KS game. Well, it's technically not that secret. It's only secret if you don't know about it yet. Meditate on those profound words, and keep an eye out for news on this in coming weeks.
Oh yeah. Almost forgot, I'll have to take some time to port the site to a new server. Obviously it hasn't been cutting it the last couple months. So we'll work on that soon. Hopefully the new service will be able to handle the massive heart attack the next batch up updates will represent.
During the gigapause, there should still be plenty to see here in the news section. Whether it's about the aforementioned projects, or new product releases, there'll be a lot going on. Trust me, the coolest stuff at What Pumpkin this season has yet to be released.
Happy 4/13, a.k.a. 5 years of Homestuck being a thing! Since I know how much you like things, to celebrate I thought I would show you another thing that's been in the works for a while.
It's a new webcomic based on Homestuck, called Paradox Space! Have a look. That is all I will say about it here. But if you would like to know what the heck this ACTUALLY IS, here is a permalink to the news post where I talk about such matters.
2014 What Pumpkin Convention Schedule ... over there! ->
The What Pumpkin crew will be quite active on the con circuit this year. 11 cons by my count (for now). Take a look at the schedule, and make your plans accordingly!
What Pumpkin will be setting up a booth in all these cons where you can buy stuff and meet some friendly WP folk. I personally will only be attending two or three of these. I'm not sure which ones yet. I don't think I can lock myself into anything definite yet, since all that traveling is incredibly time consuming and tends to derail work. That's sort of what happened last year. I traveled way too much, and it really messed me up! So work schedule permitting, I'll probably pick a couple of these later and make some "surprise appearances". That way, if you happen to see me at a convention, you can be 100% certain that our encounter will be a result of PURE DESTINY.
It's almost over, right? Um, no, sorry. I still have no time estimate, or specific date I am shooting for. 4/13 would be the COOLEST date to shoot for, right? I doubt that's realistic though. Because in spite of my most religious wishes every single day, magic keeps on being fake. THANKS, "god".
What is the status, then? The status is this. Since pausing, basically all I have been doing is writing. No drawing or animation yet. Writing, writing, writing. Writing for Homestuck, and writing for the adventure game. More time has been allocated to the latter. The game is a big, big project. Let's not kid ourselves here. It's like this whole new major story and everything, fueled by millions of dollars. That's a very different situation from Homestuck, which is usually fueled by approximately zero dollars.
Homestuck probably needs another month of writing before I can start making panels. Not even to speak of Flash work. And of course, game development looms over everything as well. This feels totally different from the usual routine of write-draw-post, write-draw-post, write-draw-post, ad infinitum. Writing everything out beforehand is peculiar. And by peculiar I mean "totally conventional", in most other creative contexts. Let's see how that approach pans out. (You go out on a limb and guess it will result in the same silly bullshit as always.)
WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
Kickstarter - Speaking of the game, I sent out a backer update just before the newd year. The same update just went out to paypal backers too (it took a while to set up a system for that). If you backed the project but didn't notice an update, you might want to check your email. If you didn't back it, sorry these updates are <shhhh>secret</shhhh>. I mean, not really. The info gets "leaked" everywhere, if you know where to look. The point is, *I'M* technically not supposed to be the one tell you. Get it? Oh. You don't? Me neither.
One question I feel like I should answer out in the open even though I kinda thought it was obvious (there is no such thing as obvious) since I see it come up so much: yes, you will be able to purchase the game, even if you did not back the Kickstarter!
Contest - In the near future, I'm going to be putting out some neat things through We Love Fine. WLF is a cool company that makes a lot of nice stuff, that you will find particularly interesting if you are into "the fandoms". Do you like fandoms? When I was a kid we didn't even have those. All we had were shitty Atari games, and spankings.
But before they formally launch any Homestuck stuff, they're running a fun shirt design contest. There are sweet cash prizes. Hey, only participate if you think is sounds fun though. Most people won't win, because that's what a contest is, according to the way that common word is classically defined. I ain't out to waste anyone's time! I do hope plenty of people submit designs though. There's some nutty stuff rolling in. People will laugh at me if I pick the naked Gamzee shirt. DON'T MAKE ME PICK THE NAKED GAMZEE SHIRT!
Another Secret Project - Remember a while ago, I mysteriously mumbled something about a secret project? And then it came along, and it turned out to be Namco High? This is like that again. Except it's not a dating sim. Or a game, or anything like that. Also, it doesn't involve video game characters you've never heard of. It is a much more Homestuck-focused thing. That's all I'm gonna say! Ok, I lied, I will say one more thing: it's going to be really cool, and you will wonder where it has been all your life.
Vinyl Figures - These are up in the store now! For actual sale. Hehe... look at em!
Homestuck book 3 and Problem Sleuth book 5 are here! The Homestuck book contains Act 3. The Problem Sleuth book is the final volume of the series.
(The cover of PS5 glows in the dark by the way.)
And now that the Problem Sleuth series is wrapped up, you can get the full set. Dedicating this much paper to three cartoon detectives trying to leave an office should be illegal. But it isn't, and we are exploiting that fact to our advantage here.