GG: i have seen this before
CA: howws that possible
CA: its a one of a kind wweapon plundered from an alternian ghost ship
GG: i am very sure its the same rifle included with johns present
GG: bigger of course
CA: probably a cheap imitation of the original
CA: kind of like that one there is
CA: so theres your answwer stable loops ahoy
CA: noww enjoy the utter fuckin domination it affords
GG: yes but....
GG: i did not provide the weapons!
GG: my penpal did
CA: wwhos that
GG: the guy who helps me build the present
GG: we worked on it together but he supplied the bunnys weapons
GG: im pretty sure hes from the future!
GG: because he said hes my grandson
CA: wwhat the fuck is a grandson
CA: is that some kind of pervverse human familial thing
GG: umm yes
CA: nevvermind then your procreational biologistics make my fins curl in distaste
GG: oh no!!!!!
GG: aaaaa please dont tell anyone i told you about him!
GG: augh how could i let that slip to you of all people
CA: settle dowwn jade youre radically underestimatin the amount of shit i dont givve about this
CA: ill havve you knoww this is the last time im plannin on talkin to any human
CA: i got bigger ships to sink and soon wwhen im good and ready me and my luminous fuckin science stick havve got a date wwith jack noir
CA: AND NO NOT THAT KIND OF DATE GIVVE ME A LITTLE FUCKIN CREDIT
GG: wow ok!!!!
GG: i wasnt going to say anything
CA: wwhys this matter so hush hush anywway
GG: he didnt want me to tell my friends who he really was
GG: i guess maybe he was concerned about upsetting the timeline? i dunno
CA: wwell maybe he didnt wwanna disrupt wwhatevver disgustin sequence of evvents wwas responsible for his spawwnin in the first place
GG: i have wondered about that, assuming he is right...
GG: he was so nice, and it really did feel like i was talking to family, so i really dont think he was making it up
GG: i couldnt help but try to imagine his parents...
GG: and more interestingly.......
GG: his grandfather :O
GG: i still wonder who it could be...
GG: although i guess at this point
GG: the options are pretty limited :o
CA: ok i think im startin to feel ill talkin about things makin me fathom pink wwigglers comin out a your owwn personal torso
CA: so change a fuckin subject
CA: that gun i just gavve you is somethin of a hatchright to the kid
CA: happy i could play a role in your dirty stinkin lineage
GG: like an heirloom? i guess it could be
GG: do you even have those? if you dont have parents how could you?
CA: no wwe dont knoww our direct forebears and im pretty sure any attempt to seek out or evven inquire about the supplier of your genes wwould be a fine wway to get yourself killed
CA: but wwevve got our lore and it says wwe all got indivvidual ancestors wwho contribute to most of our genes abovve and beyond wwhat the grubs slurry does
CA: oh shut up
CA: anywway a lot of us believve wwere meant to trace the footsteps of those ancestors evven though wwe can nevver knoww em
CA: and on that journey wwe can come across belongings they once had cause wwe wwere hatched to find em and finish their wwork
CA: i kinda think thats wwhy i found the gun in the first place
CA: but noww im forsakin it because fuck i just found a better destiny than my old crappy one wwhich i nevver got any appreciation for anywway
GG: then maybe that is how this heirloom should work
CA: wwhat do you mean
GG: well i dont want to use it!
CA: aww man come on
GG: so ill just dump it outside the house with the trash
GG: and if it is fated to find my penpal one day then so be it!
CA: god damn it
CA: its like you people go out of your wway to think a howw to disrespect me
GG: maybe you should have been nicer to me!
GG: in any case i dont appreciate the spirit in which the gift was given so this is what i will do!
CA: fine fuck it wwhat do i care
CA: this has been a completely flippin useless exchange as havve they all been wwith your species
CA: and for the record
CA: evven though i said that stuff about bein fated to find my gun
CA: fate isnt real
CA: its a lot of FAKE FUCKIN HORSEFEATHERS
CA: noww go and be cleansed by the light of truth purity nonfakeness hope and abovve all SCIENCE
gardenGnostic's johnnytop exploded.