|
|
|
|
|
|
You wake up surrounded by incredible and highly desirable merchandise. You begin fumbling feverishly for your COIN PURSE. The SHOPKEEPER tells you to hold your horses, there will be plenty of time for that soon. He suggests you take a moment to browse to stoke your fancy, and wonders if you have any questions.
> Tell me what I can buy, and then give it to me!
He shows you a collection of VERY HANDSOME T-SHIRTS exhibiting the frightfully powerful BATTLE TECHNIQUE -> SLEUTH DIPLOMACY!!!
> How much is this product?
It costs $19.00 USD plus shipping*
*$3.50 to U.S. or Canada, $7.50 to Europe or Australia.
> What sizes are available?
S*, M*, L*, XL*, 2XL*.
*SIZE HAS SOLD OUT! Hopefully will be reprinted soon.
> How will I look in this shirt?
You can't believe how hard boiled you look in this shirt. You take a cool drag on your CIGARETTE, lit with your trusty ZIPPO CAMERA.
You can't believe what a crappy photo your DIGITAL LIGHTER takes. It doesn't bother you though. You are that hard boiled.
Ma'am, the shirt is making you hysterical. I've called the doctor and he's bringing over the SMELLING SALTS right away. In the meantime he's informed me to have you soak your wrists in ICE WATER for an hour. Are you listening, toots? Why don't you put the pillow down, dollface.
> Ok shut up just let me buy this!!!
The friendly SHOPKEEPER provides you with a handy array of BARTERING TABULATURES.
One shirt to the U.S. or Canada: $19.00 + $3.50
One shirt to Europe or Australia: $19.00 + $7.50
Additional shirts, shipped to the same location: $19.00 + $2.50
> Checkout, please.
For questions about ordering, please contact: doppelgeuse@gmail.com
|
|
|