centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]
CT: D --> Have I ever told you what a reprehensible disgrace you are TC: hAhA, fUcK yEaH, oNlY eVeRy MoThErFuCkIn DaY bRo! CT: D --> I'm not in a very good mood CT: D --> There are a few things I'd like to get off my chest TC: MoThErFuCkIn SpIlL iT, dOn'T bE aLl KeEpIn ThAt ShIt BoTtLeD uP TC: lIkE a FuCkIn AlL sHaKeD uP bOtTlE oF fAyGo. TC: FuCk DoGg I'm ThIrStY. TC: i'M dOwN tO mY lAsT bOtTlE aNd I dOn'T fUcKiN kNoW iF i CaN gEt AnYmOrE iN tHiS mOtHeRfUcKiN mAgIc LaNd So I dOn'T kNoW. CT: D --> What you do appear to know is e%actly how to ma%imize my livid contempt for you CT: D --> With your revolting language and your sense of decorum CT: D --> At such breathtaking odds with the richness and perfe%ion of your b100d CT: D --> I just hate you so much TC: ThAt'S cOoL, i CaN't AlL bE mAkInG nOt EvErYbOdY hApPy AlL tHe TiMe. TC: iF wE eVeR mEt I cOuLd BaKe YoU a FuCkIn PiE aNd We CoUlD cHiLl AnD mAyBe We'D bE bEtTeR bRoS tHaT wAy. CT: D --> And the degrees to which you pollute your precious b100d CT: D --> With your bottled fizzy sugar and soporific to%ins CT: D --> Maddening CT: D --> You will stop TC: WhOaAaA, i WiLl? TC: hOw Do YoU kNoW tHaT? CT: D --> No, you don't understand CT: D --> It's not a predi%ion, it's an order CT: D --> I command you to stop TC: Oh, AlRiGhT bRoThEr. TC: yOu MoThErFuCkIn GoT iT. CT: D --> What CT: D --> Are you serious TC: yEaH. TC: I mEaN, yOu GoT tO sHoW sOmE fAiTh In YoUr FrIeNdS, cAuSe ThEy'Re AlL tHe OnEs WhO'rE bEiNg To LoOk OuT fOr YoU. TC: sO fUcK iF yOu SaY i'M nOt DoInG tHe ShIt RiGhT, tHeN wHaT tHe MoThErFuCk Do I kNoW! CT: D --> No CT: D --> This is una%eptable CT: D --> Ok, let's start over CT: D --> I apologize CT: D --> I was completely out of of line, and I'm sorry CT: D --> I have no right to talk to you like that, or tell you what you can't do TC: aWw, No WoRrIeS! CT: D --> It's not my place CT: D --> Your habits notwithstanding, I am lesser than you CT: D --> An inferior TC: hAhAhA. oK. CT: D --> Don't you understand that you're better than me CT: D --> Can you please act like it CT: D --> That's not a command, it's just a polite request I guess TC: oK, i CaN tRy, BuT mAn I dOn'T kNoW iF i KnOw HoW tO bE lIkE a BeTtEr MoThErFuCkEr ThAn AnY oThEr MoThErFuCkEr. CT: D --> 100k, it isn't that difficult CT: D --> Try to be cognizant of your desires and needs CT: D --> And attempt to regard those around you as simple vehicles meant to bring about your gratification TC: WoW, wHaT? CT: D --> What are you doing TC: uHhHhHh. CT: D --> Right now CT: D --> It sounds as if you have begun playing with the red team CT: D --> Is this true TC: yEaH! TC: fUcK yEaH. i'M aLl Up In ThE fUcKiN sHiT oF tHiS wIcKeD mYsTiCaL mOtHeRfUcKeR. TC: i BoNkEd An ImP oN tHe HeAd WiTh A cLuB. TC: AnD tHeN a LiTtLe LaTeR i ScArEd OnE wItH a HoRn. TC: :o) CT: D --> Good CT: D --> This is very good CT: D --> It really pleases me to hear tales of physical subjugation CT: D --> I presume these were lesser beings, toiling in the lower ranks of some hierarchy TC: wElL yEaH, tHeY'rE uNdErLiNgS. TC: AnD tHeRe'S SoMe SuBjUgGlAtIoN iNvOlVeD fOr FuCkIn SuRe! TC: bUt NoW wE kInD oF sEtTlEd DoWn AnD mE aNd ThE iMpS aRe ShArInG sOmE pIe TC: tHeSe MoThErFuCkErS aRe PrEtTy DoPe AcTuAlLy, I lIkE tHeM. CT: D --> Ok CT: D --> It pleases me considerably less to hear things like that CT: D --> But I've already stated I have no right to be disappointed by your conduct, so I will try to control myself TC: aW sHiT bRo, I dOn'T wAnT tO bE aLl LiKe To DiSaPpOiNt YoU! TC: WhAt CaN i Do To MaKe A bRoThEr FuCkIn ShApE hIs ShIt Up? TC: iF i CoUlD mAkE yOu SmIlE iT'd Be ThE bEsT fUcKiN mIrAcLe I eVeR dId PaRt Of. TC: hOnK hOnK hOnK! :o) CT: D --> Hmm CT: D --> Would it be too much to ask CT: D --> For you to maybe CT: D --> Boss me around a little TC: UuUhHhHhH. TC: yOu MeAn LiKe RoLe PlAyInG? CT: D --> If it would help to couch it in those terms CT: D --> Then yeah, I guess so CT: D --> But not the especially juvenile kind CT: D --> Let's keep it serious and professional TC: i'Ll TrY, bUt I'm NoT mUcH fUcKiN aNy GoOd At It I tHiNk. CT: D --> Just CT: D --> Say anything CT: D --> As long as it's authoritative TC: oK. TC: uH, hEy YoU, dOn'T gO nEaR tHe MoThErFuCkIn OcEaN, cAuSe I aLl ToLd YoU nOt To A bUnCh Of TiMeS! TC: ShIt Is StRaIgHt Up DaNgErOuS, aNd I'm GeTtInG mY hArSh On AbOuT iT. CT: D --> Hmm CT: D --> Decent CT: D --> I don't live near the ocean though, so it's hard to immerse myself in the scenario TC: aLrIgHt, WeLl, WhAt ArEn'T yOu AlL nOt SuPpOsEd To Do? TC: WhAt KiNd Of MiScHiEf Do YoU gEt YoUr BaD fUcKiN sElF uP tO? CT: D --> I do so many bad things CT: D --> Just awful things CT: D --> I'm incredibly impudent and a superior needs to put me in my place TC: uMmMm, Ok WeLl. TC: DoN't Be DoIn AlL tHoSe BaD fUcKiN tHiNgS bRo! CT: D --> Yes CT: D --> Yes, that's good CT: D --> Like that TC: cUt ThAt ShIt OuT, i'M sO aLl MeAnInG tHiS! hAhAhA. CT: D --> E%cellent CT: D --> Now tell me this, highb100d CT: D --> I've been roughhousing a little too hard lately CT: D --> I've made a bit of a mess and anyone in a position of authority would surely be % about it TC: Uh. TC: %? CT: D --> Cross TC: oHhH. CT: D --> What do you make of it CT: D --> This wretched misbehavior TC: fUcK mAn, I aM sO mOtHeRfUcKiN sAlTy AbOuT aLl ThAt BuSiNeSs YoU sAiD! TC: FuUuUuCk, Im LiKe AlL mOvInG mY mOuTh AnD tHe WiCkEd NoIsE iS cOmInG oUt In ThE fRoNtIeSt WaY pOsSiBlE. TC: aNd It'S gOiNg At YoUr DiReCtIoN, cAuSe ThAt'S tHe DiReCtIoN tO fUcKiN bE aNgRy At! CT: D --> Yes CT: D --> So good CT: D --> I am presently whipped into a state of contrition CT: D --> One befitting of our class disparity CT: D --> But I'm starting to perspire again so it's best that we stop CT: D --> Thank you for indulging me TC: hAhA, nO pRoBlEm BrO. TC: It'S cOoL wE cOuLd AlL uP aNd MoThErFuCkIn OpEn Up A lItTlE bIt WiTh EaCh OtHeR. TC: lIkE bRoS. TC: If ThErE's StUfF yOu WaNt To GeT oFf YoUr ChEsT dUdE, lIkE i SaId I'm FuCkIn HeRe FoR a MoThErFuCkEr. TC: kInD oF lIkE a MiRaClE, hOw It'S aLwAyS tHeRe. TC: It NeVeR gOeS aWaY, yOu KnOw? CT: D --> No CT: D --> But I comprehend the sentiment CT: D --> I have lots of thoughts, but they're difficult to communicate CT: D --> If you'll listen TC: sUrE! :oD CT: D --> Honestly I'm confused by the social order TC: mAn, Me ToO. i DoN't KnOw WhAt Of FuCkIn WhAt CoLoR iS wHaT, sO i DoN't BoThEr WiTh ThInKiN oN tHaT mOtHeRfUcKeR. CT: D --> See, that's what I mean CT: D --> How is it possible for one of your distin%ion to be so ignorant CT: D --> And loathesome CT: D --> Whereas CT: D --> A member of the most abject, verminous b100dline of all CT: D --> Can conduct herself with such grace and possess nothing but admirable mannerisms CT: D --> I find these striking ju%tapositions perple%ing, and I confess strangely into%icating CT: D --> I wonder if I have gone mad CT: D --> To form such a pact with her TC: WoW, i GoT nO fUcKiN cLuE wHaT yOu'Re TaLkInG aBoUt TC: wHo Is ShE? CT: D --> I shouldn't be talking about this CT: D --> You're the enemy
I'm heading out for the weekend. I had planned on putting something up before I left, but guess I'm running late with it. Wasn't planning on a break of such length, but looks like there'll be nothing to see until next week, due to *mishaps*.
The first, an Exile-centric album brought to you by a collection of artists. The second, a solo album composed by Tyler Dever and performed by Erik Scheele. Both are great!
Are you running out of room on your ipod yet? You might have to start deleting some of that crappy non-HS music soon.
Two points of business to trouble you with. ONE: The What Pumpkin store has, mostly, been restocked. TWO: There's a good chance that the Bandcamp page will have new content some time next week.
I'll be out of town for a week, from 6/21 to 6/27. I will try to get some work done while I'm on the road, but updates will most likely be sparse til then. I am just doing you the service of liberating you from this extremely engaging web comic for a short period of time, so that you are free to go do other things, like play volleyball on the beach, and give high fives to your coolest friends.
I also feel that it is important to make an annual tradition of announcing a week long hiatus after sequences culminating in sloppy makeouts. What makeouts will be happening next year? How sloppy will they be? This is how I keep people hooked.
Volume 7 is pretty self explanatory. Contains many songs from the story, plus a bunch of other great new ones. I say this every time, but this is now the best HS volume. AND IT KEEPS BEING TRUE EVERY TIME I SAY IT.
On the solo album: M.G. Bowman has done a lot to shape the sound of Homestuck. Among his contributions were Explore and Sburban Jungle (end of acts 2 and 3 music). He is also a mastermind behind the ambitious Hare Force One project (people ship Con Air bunnies to each other all over the globe). For his album, he has created two characters whose names are featured in the title. They exist somewhere in the Homestuck universe, playing their own session, and each song captures something about their adventure. See his website for what he has to say about it personally. I think it's a really fun and creative album with a fantastic sound.
If you ordered something from the WP store earlier in the month, those items have either been shipped already or will be very soon.
Also, all of the charity squiddles have shipped too. If you ordered one, and it doesn't arrive in the next week or two, let me know and I will look into it. As for the charity sketches, those I will be completing and mailing shortly as well.
Music: Albums incoming. Hang in there. I estimate they will drop within a week. They will contain songs you have heard, and many you haven't. They are great.
Nine days without a new page is a pretty long time! What was even UP with me? 5 days in Toronto + 4 days animating I guess is what was up. Ok that sounds reasonable. Everyone agrees with that and holds the creator exempt from charges of gross dereliction. We all smile pretty hard and our faces begin to hurt a little.
Speaking of which, there will be more music on Bandcamp some time this month, won't there? Yes. Let me go talk it over with the music guys and see what we can put together for you over the next week or two. Hold on, let me go do that now, don't go anywhere.
Only John's and Vriska's are available for now. There are more planned for the near future. (i.e. Aradia's) Note that there are t-shirt versions of the hoodies too, at different shades for a little variety (the tee colors actually correspond to the darker color of the hoods in the comic). Also take a look at the new long sleeve Jade shirt, with her vintage atom symbol. I think it's a nice complement to Dave's broken record shirt, which has the same raglan sleeve style.
Also: PRINTS! There are many great HS fan artists out there, in the art team and otherwise. For a while I have have the idea to offer prints of selected works here and there. For now there are some by art team members Lexxy and SA. I hope to add more to this page gradually.
And one last point on the store. Please take notice of the new support system. If you have a question or a problem with an order, please go through that! The old What Pumpkin email address has gotten swamped with so many different types of correspondence, it's become very difficult to field support cases through it. If you use the new system, rapid satisfaction is considerably more likely!
I should also mention that soon I will be attending TCAF! If you can make it to Canada, you should come. If you happen to already be in Canada, then you really have no excuse not to go.
FACT: You will navigate the latest pages in different ways depending on your browser conditions.
At the end of Insert disc 2, on many browsers (e.g. mine), you will automatically be redirected to the next page when it finishes "loading", or you may get there by clicking the link to "[S] Seer: Ascend" inside the Flash panel. These features will not work for some browsers, and instead you will see this message. Accessing that url will redirect you to the next page, [S] Seer: Ascend.
Note that there is no hyperlink to the next page below the disc 2 panel, and never will be. You must venture into disc 2 through one of the ways described above! I probably wouldn't have even bothered mentioning this if not for the browser compatibility hiccup.
The SbaHJ shirts.....: it is turning into a proud tradition that several weeks after releasing any SBaHJ product I must inform you that they all do in fact glow in the dark, in case you didn't realize. Please suspend this alarming reality in your thoughts as you urgently scramble to use your dollars to make them become your property.
Speaking of scrambling, dollars, and your ludicrous zeal for all the insanely rad things I advise you to drape over your body, there will be lots of cool new things in the WP store, very, very soon.
But before we talk about that, let's carefully examine this fine new album by Clark Powell, who is responsible for such HS scores as Three in the Morning, and the Gate 1 Doctor remix, as well as a plethora of other album songs.
This one's very cool. Clark has a great ambient sound, and his idea for the album was to musically express the Medium's planets, through both their elements and themes. I think he nailed it. Cover art was tag-teamed by me and Cindy (the lady who touches all your WP shirts).
Also: New Topatoco items!
First of all, you will notice there are two new Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff shirts. People are always coming up to me and saying "we NEED more insanely shitty looking shirts to wear to places like church and stuff." What choice to I have but to serve these rowdy individuals with dollars in their hands and outstanding taste in their opinions???
In truth, Jeffrey and I cannot help ourselves from attempting to capitalize on this nonsense, because we both need aggressive psychiatric examination. But if you don't buy these shirts, we will both feel ashamed and foolish. Please buy these shirts. I'm begging you. If you don't, we will probably weep in each others arms, swaddled in an orange heap of 3000 dunking Big Men. As an incentive, I will make this solemn pledge. If I sell out of all of these SBaHJ shirts within a week, you are guaranteed to discover that I have permanently emblazoned SBaHJ iconography on my body somewhere, with real, honest to gog foreverink. You'll wonder how high I even will have had to have been. Fact. 8^y
Also note the classy Sepulchritude hoodie, perfect complement to your Sepulchritude tee. I will be coming out with HS god tier hoodies soon through What Pumpkin, and I thought that as long as such garments were being offered, it would be nice to have a Problem Sleuth one in the mix too. Plus, the godhoods won't have zipper fronts, and this one does. So if you like to zip up, like if that's your thing, then this is for you.
4/13/11
The two year anniversary of HS has come and gone. Not as much fanfare in-story about it as I'd hoped, but at least it got a nod. Remember when games came on multiple disks? You always were asked to swap during a kind of peculiar and underwhelming moment, like walking through a thing, or talking to a guy. Sometimes it was shortly after you got an airship, or something.
I had plans to do something a little more mesmerizing, like last year, but started running out of time. So I revised the plans, then ran out of time for THOSE too. And so on, til I said screw it. Disc 1 probably wouldn't have been able to fit another hefty animation in it anyway. Those discs are only like what, 700 MB??
It takes a lot to meet a deadline coming up fast, when the thing you are planning is meant to be a BIG DEAL, by definition. First you must come up with an animation idea, and that itself will take a long time to make. Then you must move the story along to the exact precipice of that moment, which also takes time, and must do so with enough time left to animate! Plenty of ways to blow it. Making this story on the fly requires not just a lot of drawing and writing, but the sensibilities of a producer. Knowing when to appropriate large amounts of effort for what purposes given various time constraints. I make adjustments to plans all the time, just like I did with the last 4/13 milestone (was originally scheduling end of act 4 for that). Hence this milestone was less jaw dropping, but then if you recall, the original 4/13 celebration was pretty underwhelming too. What will next 4/13 bring? Guess we'll see.
If I'm taking the time to reflect on two years of Homestuck as an achievement I'll do so here only as a gesture of gratitude to the steadfast readers, new and old. I am humbled by your devotion. This is not any sort of platitude to be dismissed as quasi-sincere acceptance speech fodder, or a dispatch from my PR department because sometimes you guys give me money for stuff. This is sincerely true. I look around and still cannot quite believe the magnitude of the enthusiasm that surrounds this story. I stopped being able to keep track of all the fan art for it more than a year ago, and even then there were thousands of fan-made images I would diligently attempt to pore through. I have honestly never seen so much fan art created for anything, anywhere, ever. Even things which have millions of dollars backing their production budgets. Maybe Harry Potter has more? (Alright let's get real. HS fan art is probably just now beginning to approach the subset of drawings that involve Harry being naked with somebody.) Greater and greater hordes of troll cosplayers can be spotted taking over the floors of conventions. You could have pressed me on the subject, but I never would have guessed anyone could be quite so tickled to be slathered in messy gray makeup and crowned by a homemade pair of horns. There is this seething passion for HS that is a self-organizing, autonomous entity unto itself, which is practically inaccessible to my understanding or involvement, even though I'm responsible for the content driving it. I've kept Homestuck's fire hot; its gaping furnace was hungry for coal so I got goddamn shoveling. But you have been responsible for breathing life into this monstrous organism which surrounds me, and now in its breadth transcends my work entirely. To thank you as a whole for this phenomenon almost doesn't sound rational. It's like thanking a furious thunderstorm for the deluge of rain it gave to your thirsty little box of poseys. My paltry utterance dissipates in the far deep rumbling. The clouds don't even notice I'm there because they're too busy swapping fan fiction. Maybe instead I'll offer something more significant than gratitude. Something more personal and experiential. I'll submit my amazement. You can't see me now, but it is a look of wonder and discovery. A boyish look of astonishment at something remarkable beyond words, like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, but on a more cosmic scale and more viscerally shocking. Like a squealing horrorterror's gruesome Cesarean birth. That is the look I have every time I disrupt the tunnel vision that keeps the work's bright sun searing my eyes. When they adjust to the dark, I see the silhouette in soft black focus of the young planet sized monster, chirping its affections. I offer it this look because it is all I have to give, with the exception of the tears streaming down my face. Its hunger is piqued at the fluid and my only regret is I can never possibly provide enough to nourish the orphan, now that it can never know the taste of its dead mother's heinous teatbrine.